FOLIO OLIO: HUMANS

Some people will do ANYTHING for money...

And remember, there were people jumping in to move a thumb here and a tress there, just to get the "Perfect Photo".
Well, I'm kind of done with this kind of shit...

I've come to believe that there is NOTHING a person won't do if the instructions came from a photographer....

MARILIZE LEGAJUANA!

I like humans that just do human things.
I've done shit like this....

Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

Some people may be pushing the limits, but at least it's their limits and they are, so to speak, walking the walk...

Oh, great! The phone book just arrived. I guess I can get rid of the internet now.

I can almost understand this.
He has drove off a stage a hundred times....but this time the stage is set up just a little too far from his goal.
I call it a no foul.

Experts say that men think about sex every 7 seconds. That's why I try to eat hotdogs in 6 seconds, just so it doesn't get weird.

Honey is the best tasting vomit on the planet.

I'm new to NASCAR. I have recently begun to bet money on it. I am way, way ahead so far, but at least now I understand this gesture...

I would offer some words of wisdom, but I have never been called wise without the word ass following shortly behind it.

TRUE: This is not me. However, every month or so, I go to my local beer store and buy ten cases of beer. It lasts me....well, it last me until I run the fuck out.
More to the point, if you go to a place that sells a lot of beer and tell them you want ten cases, they will go to the back, bring it out, AND load it in the back of your fucking truck.
Slam fucking dunk!!

What if Axe Body Spray was invented by women to more easily identify douchebags?

???

I am why we can't have nice things.

Yeah, I've always wanted to jump over a dangerous fucking abyss to some kind of rock penis just because I fucking could. Yeah....right.

Television redefined the word 'marathon' to mean the exact opposite of physical exercise.

"What do we want?!"
"TIME TRAVEL!"
"When do we want it?!"
"IRRELEVANT!"

Shopping carts are so much more fun if you are naked....and drunk.....and insane.....

If anyone is interested, I'll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes and Noble from 6 pm until I'm escorted out by security.

This man WILL get laid tonight. It's called chivalry.....and you ought to write that shit down.

Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.

Extreme violence in 4...3...2....

This man is depressed because he can't get a job....

This man is depressed because he can't get a job that does not involve a dick in his mouth....

WOMEN: An animal who, without a second thought, will wear fake hair, fake nails, fake lashes, contacts, lip colors, make-up, add chemical smells after shaving almost all their body hair, but.........BUT.....I MEAN FUCKING BUT, they will go to no ends to keep their nipples from showing.
Dear Ladies.......THAT'S ONE OF YOUR MOST APPEALING PARTS....AND IT COSTS NOTHING!!!!!

GAMBLING: A smart man thinks he can beat the odds. A dumb man knows he can.

????

We all know people that we would like to beat until there is bones in his stool.

As I understand it, there is a whole series of images like this that were, in fact, taken under water....

Avoid somber places at all costs.

Yes, there was probably alcohol involved.....

SAID TO BE TRUE: Up until very recently in human terms, life expectancy for men was greater than for women.

"So, what's your team colors?"
"All of them."

SAID TO BE TRUE: In 1991, Wayne Allwine, the voice of Mickey Mouse, married Russi Taylor, the voice of Minnie Mouse.

A friend of mine asked me if I like Fight Club. I punched him in the face for breaking the first two rules of Fight Club.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

South Africa: It's like Africa only south.

Just more Russian kids being stupid on the highest thing in the city........again......

There is a whole genre of photos on line called "Photobombs". Mostly you have shit that people photograph without noticing. I find the "without noticing" part a little hard to believe with this one....