About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

FOUND ROUND THINGS



Began a mural yesterday. Not much time for posts. 


There are people who call themselves "Urban Explorers" and they seek out stuff like this. I think it's a good thing.


Oh, look, it's snowing outside. I better update my status for all my friends who don't have a window of their own.



Some people just like to watch the world burn...


9 out of 10 men prefer women with big boobs.
The 10th guy prefers the 9 other men.



By placing the ends at different points on the record, whole nother designs are created....


Women say that size doesn't matter, but I have yet to meet a woman who owns a 3 inch crooked vibrator.





Everybody talks about leaving a better planet for the children. What about trying to leave better children to the planet?



You've all seen high-speed photos of drops of liquid...

....and a bullet slicing through stuff....

....but I bet you never saw a bullet slicing through a drop of liquid....oh, yeah......


Growing up we were so poor we had to take the trash IN.




BEER BONGS: Because the sooner you get them drunk, the closer you get to that threesome.



I got to thinking the other day about the wisdom of allowing Moscow to place a huge nuclear device in Washington and them allowing us to do the same in Moscow. No one would dare start a war and it would have been a hell of a lot cheaper....


Never get a tattoo larger than your dick.





If you see a plate of bacon running down the street screaming 'HELP ME!', please return it to me. It's totally overreacting.





Women used to call me ugly until they found out how much money I had, then they called me ugly and poor.



I've always wanted one of these for my very own...


You can't really make the same mistake twice....the second time it's a choice.





Whatever you do in life, always give it 100%, unless you're donating blood.





What if pharmacists never did understand the handwriting and just gave us random drugs.



Indeed....


Smile and the world smiles with you.
Laugh and they will think you're on drugs.



I find shit like this fascinating....


Hard work pays off in the future.
Laziness pays off now.



I've learned to really appreciate wine, but this may be a little over the top....


Getting a salad at McDonald's is like going to your coke dealer for a 5 Hour Energy drink.





Saying your kids are fat because of McDonald's is like saying it's Hooter's fault your husband likes big boobs.



This is a sculpture that sings. No matter which way the wind blows it sings and it is awesome (I saw the video). It sounds very much like the noise that happened when that domino thing showed up in the move "2001"...


If all the girls who attended the Harvard-Yale game were laid end to end, I wouldn't be surprised.



Just a reminder, due to the power of the airbag, this is the new correct hand positions...or it might just break your fucking forearms....


Every time a rap artist speaks, a dictionary commits suicide.



My wife has started another company....


The guy who came up with the spelling for marijuana must have been stoned.




Speakers that screw in a lamp socket and provides light.


My dream job would be driving the karma bus.





Come to find out, staging a murder is not an appropriate April Fool's Day prank.




Holy mother of god......


WARNING: Due to the increasing price of ammo, do not expect a warning shot.



Well, aren't we all....


Whenever I orgasm I hear Oprah's voice in my head saying, "You're getting a car! And you're getting a car! And you're getting a car!"




Anyone........anyone......?


PAPER CUTS: Battle scars of the english major.





All I need is love....and beer.....and a blowjob every year or so....is that too much to ask......is it?





Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to a paramedic.




Damn!


"If you look up the word 'idiot' in the dictionary, you know what you will find?"
"A picture of me?"
"No, the definition, you idiot!"





If my name was Simon I would always speak in the third person.



Just a couple of Chinese peasants making round sex toys for Americans.....




Anyone.......anyone??


Speaking of...

Freaky, this.....

No, ladies. For the love of god, no.....






Fucking awesome!!

If you have never done this, then you are not a beer drinker...


TOONS TO AMUSE....



What the fuck.....????


ONE OF MY VERY OWN WITH ROUND THING...

WOMEN WITH ROUND THINGS....





2 comments:

the boy said...

so the toilet with the extension in the front i believe i have an answer.have you ever sat down to do what nature does for us men when we sit down on toilets, and you piss, but the piss flies out of the toilet seat because your extremities (unlike those of women) poke out not in, thus increasing the chance for potential piss spilling (or in my case piss on your leg through the slot from toilet seat to toilet bowl). well this toilet you posted, i believe, fixes that problem and allows for the piss to enter the toilet without any such escapage (not a word). but maybe thats just my opinion

Margaret said...

The bicycle: The rear wheel appears to have a place to put your feet... a ledge. I believe you get going and then hop on to those, the harness keeping you floating. Looks dumb as shit. IMO.

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