SANS HUMOR WEDNESDAY

I was discussing my observation that only white missing kids made the news. My bartender said, "That's why it's called Amber Alert instead of Tyrone Alert."

Did a crossword where the major clue necessitated taking the first few letters of a common phrase and adding them to the end. My favorite was "On the water fr".

When anyone loses their rights, we all lose those rights.

The original name for butterfuly was flutterby.

Humans share about 50 percent of DNA with bananas.

Stunt double...

TRUE: I made my wife cry one time. I swore to myself that I would never do it again....and I didn't.

I saw a documentary that showed chimps attacking and killing smaller monkeys and eating them. I seemed that it was such a treat that the dominate males would share it with the females only in exchange for sex.

M and W should not just be inverted and substituted for the other.

Yuri Gagarin - the first man in space.

 How come we don't celebrate him as we do Columbus?

I am sick and tired of people who judge me because I am 65 years old and can not figure out how to use my cell phone.

Women delivered the bombers across the Atlantic during the war...

Her daddy took her on a whale watching tour, and since there weren't any whales decided to take a picture of her...

One of my favorite people in the world is married to my wife's cousins. He is a Deputy Sheriff. He was working somewhere recently when some German tourists stopped, pointed to him and said, "Look! A black man!"

Millions of shark are killed each year just for the fin....for a soup....that is all....

A study finds a link between the first generation in history that never experienced life before the internet and socially aggressive narcissism. 

The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute, less than half the normal rate of 20.

Alaska is the only state that can be typed on one row on the keyboard.

The best argument for legalizing marijuana....

By the year 2013 there will be approximately 17 billion devices connected to the internet.

SAID TO BE TRUE: One of every 8 married couples in the US last year met online.

Flip a coin and get 5 heads in a row and you would probably think something was weird. But flip constantly for a week and chances are you will get 200 runs of five.

I know it is irrational, but I could never let my child do this....

Read a sentence the other day. Don't know who wrote it or what he/she meant, but here it is"

"It's better not to travel with a dead man."

Here's my short version of what it means to me.

At the bar I visit daily, there has been a spate of death of late. I have noticed that this has depressed some people who think about their own death all the time. I don't think that is healthy and I refuse. It's as if it's not enough to let the bastard swallow you in the end, now you let death eat at you every fucking day.

Bill Gates' house was designed using a Mac Computer.

ABSOLUTELY TRUE:  In my circle of friends, we have nicknames for clarity. For instance, we have a John, Big John, and John the Lug Nut. We have a Bernie, Chicken Bernie, and Bernie the Jew.
The other day I was telling a story about one of my dearest friends, and called him Dead Karl.

TOONS....

ONE OF MY VERY OWN....

WOMEN....