TUESDAY #1470

Last St. Pat's gag...I promise...

About all I did was eat Lucky Charms in my underwear.

I sympathize with these gals.

I hate it when I go to the gas station and can't see the little screen no matter what I do to shade it.

There is a theory that for any map only four colors are needed so that no two of the same color touch.

As I understand it, this can not be mathematically proven. Researchers did give the problem to a huge computer, that for years produced various map configurations and colored them in. It could always be done, but not proven.

(shouldn't that be "careS"?)

I realize that most of you aren't crossword nuts like I am, but I've come across one that is very clever.
Many times the theme of the puzzle involves putting more than one letter in a single square. This puzzle had the word "water" in a single square as in "Watergate Scandal", "On the Water Front", etc.
But the intersecting answers didn't fit no matter how hard I worked. Then it dawned on me. When the clues "High Hopes", "Eleventh Hour", etc, crossed one of the condensed "water" answers, the "HHO" in the middle fit into the same square as water.......A-fucking-mazing.

$4,000?!? I wonder what a professional would get.

A portrait of my bride when she was younger...

All train compartments smell vaguely of shit, but it gets where to don’t mind it.

I am a bit of a cynic. There, I've said it.

What shall the future wrought?

A memo sent to more than a dozen government agencies by Director of National Intelligence James Clapper says a question added to lie detector tests will help deter leaks to the media.

The wording suggests that the proposed question is a shrewd and subtle masterpiece of psychology designed to catch the questionee off-balance and by its unexpectedness evoke revealing answers, but no, it's "Have you blown whistles to the media lately?"


American trompe l'oeil painter upset over USA going off the gold standard...

“It’s just money. Little pieces of paper with pictures on them so we don’t have to kill one another to get something to eat.”

Watched a movie about the modern travails of middle management looking for a job. I found this scene more than a little depressing...

Do you recognize this man? Does he look like a nice man?

 This is Pol Pot. If that doesn't ring a bell, look him up.

Dogs...what can I say...

Banjos. By the time you hear them it's already too late.

By the year 2150, Mexicans will outnumber humans.

If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD, I'd have exactly $28,314.25.

These are abandoned settlements in Antarctica... 

I remember my father telling me about the next group of explorers settling in and reheating the buildings.

My father said that what amazed everyone was that once the bread and other foodstuffs were thawed, they were still edible. Supposedly, this kick started the idea of frozen foods in you market.

Speaking of....it's time for the big dog sled race... 

When I first saw that, I thought it was mounted dog heads on the wall.

I could only think of the post-sex cigarette...

You know something isn't going as planned when the puppet backs up...

"I just shot someone," said no stormtooper ever.

 What you've been TV...

I like these guys very much...

One of my very own...

Do you remember several posts ago when I posted that we are more similar as individuals than we are similar to our governments? These are Iranians.  What are they thinking about? The same thing all college students are thinking about.

OOMVO...

Holy Shit!!

North Korea: The nation-state equivalent of the short bus.

The word verb is a noun.
And your age is but the number of times you have gone around the sun.

Possible support for panspermia...

I bought a package of smoked salmon. When I opened it...

I found that 70% of the package was empty. The salmon only covered an area as large as the red square.

I was so pissed! You know what I did? Nothing. I did absolutely nothing....again.

A man had is life savings (sever thousand dollars) hidden in his house. A mouse shredded it for bedding...

When I was growing up, we played with toy guns every fucking day.

If we couldn't afford a real toy gun, we improvised...

This is the "gun" that kid got suspended for holding.

If you kill a large animal and eat it, you should be commended. If you kill a large animal to put its head on your wall, then fuck you.

I have a weird thing about animals. I will eat the shit out of them, but still feel for them. You want to use animals to experiment new drugs on...go right ahead. You want to use animals to test yet another chemical to make your lashes even more long and luxurious, then fuck you.
And unless these dolphins have no chance of living in the wild, then this is just obscene exploitation...

Wingmen at their finest...

Remember this? Still funny...

There will always be the exact same percentage of winners to losers.
(read that again)

Remember this guy?

I once found myself in an elevator with him. I asked for an autograph for a friend, and without even looking at me said, "I don't sign anything standing up."
What a prick, considering he was being paid to be there.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
The Arab Spring. Can you image those fuckers saying, "We want freedom. We want to be told what kind of weapon we can carry. We want all our communication listened to. We want to be told by our new government what foods we can and can't eat."
I could go on, but you get my point.
They want what most freedom loving people want....to be left the fuck alone.