FACT FILLED THURSDAY #1566

10:30 pm Wednesday:
I have never watched hockey before, but I tuned into the Chicago/Boston playoff for the Stanley Cup...just because. It is now tied 4-4 and it's the most exciting sport I've ever used to forestall boredom. I am rooting for Boston because I have visited both Boston and Chicago and I loved Boston and detested Chicago. That kind of logic works for me.

I'm not a true isolationist, but why....why...

These are our new astronauts...

 As a father of two women, I commend them.

Brazilians are furious with the cost of the coming sports events to their country. And when you become furious, you do things to let the government know how pissed off you are....like walk down the street...

You have to understand, though, that being pissed off does not mean you get to burn somebody else's shit.

There have been many peaceful demonstrations that worked. Once you turn to violence, all bets are off. And if you throw a Molotov Cocktail at armed riot police, you should die....you are just too fucking stupid to pass your genes along.

I don't even remember which riot he was in, but this guy just stopped and stood still for 5 hours...the others joined him.....then they all got their ass kicked anyway...

Something to think more about...

Fuck you.
I live in a free country. I have all the licenses and permits to prove it.

Look at this poor disease riddled child...

 And this is her mother. They both (according to the AMA) suffer from the dreaded disease of obesity...

So let me get this straight...From now on I am perfectly within my rights to walk up to every fat person I meet and say, "Get well soon." I'll let you know how that works out for me.

“Cli-Fi” refers to "climate fiction"- a sub-genre of sci-fi.

I wonder if anybody but me remembers this movie...

The health benefits of running may not apply to long distance running. Recent studies suggest the significant mortality benefits of running may diminish or disappear at mileage exceeding 30 miles a week and other studies have shown elevated levels of coronary plaque in serial marathoners—a problem that rigorous exercise theoretically could cause.

Did you notice that BOTH his hands are on a teammate's ass? 
Speaking of...

I will never forget the volunteer coaches I had growing up. They taught me more about teamwork and sportsmanship than my father ever could.

There were several photos of this and the best I can assertain, it's real and living...

The Vatican announced that the current Pope is fallible and that he erred in stating that atheists could go to heaven.  "People who know about the Catholic church 'cannot be saved' if they 'refuse to enter her and remain in her,' a Vatican spokesman said."

("...enter her and remain in her..." Damn! Sounds like a line for Shades Of Grey)

Aaaah...no.....

Who the fuck would invent something like that?!?

Lobsters show no signs of aging. If they get enough food and avoid parasites (and humans) they can theoretically live forever and keep getting bigger as they continue to molt.

Never forget...

These people walk among us burdened a pain few of us can imagine.

Oh, really?

 As Exhibit A I offer these lines from a Johnny Cash song, "Deila"....a murdered lover...

Oh for the love of all that's manly, dude....YOU LET SOMEBODY TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU DOING THAT!?!?!

Turn in your man badge, dude.

There are a million of these dogs of shame pictures...

 My daughter likes them.

For her I offer....

Wife’s internet provider makes you buy their modem. You own it…literally. When there is a problem on “Your End” (meaning “inside your building”), then you have to pay for any repair. Well, the modems are cheap ass pieces of shit and when they go bad YOU have to buy another, and they go bad often….so says the contractor sent to solve my wife’s problem.

I had to read this twice...

One of my very own...

 That one wasn't funny enough, so how about another...

A look you never want to see across a poker table after you make a large bet...

The U.S. Golf Association has officially banned using a long putter anchored to the body. (effective January 1, 2016).

(anyone else read any sexual undertones in that?)

This morning I woke up, looked over at my wife and said, "Whither yon matron stir?" She said, "What the fuck does that mean?" I said, "I have no idea. I just thought it would be a cool thing to say to you."

But actually I had been dreaming those words. Weird, that.

What a great attitude!

I wonder do he walk funny?

Closed-captioning glasses allow people who are deaf or hearing-impaired to enjoy movies in theaters. "They also come with audio tracks that describe the action on the screen for blind people."

Okay, I want to hear this "action on the screen" for a porn movie...but maybe that's just me.

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!

You heard of hand models?

 Well, I've been asked to become a foot model. I hear the pay is good and I won't even have to break a sweat.
Yes. Yes, they are that beautiful.

 Or as Ruben Blades puts it: "I think we risk becoming the best informed society that has ever died of ignorance."

Not sure if this is factual, but it's kind of cool to think about...

Heard a couple of things on TV recently:

What if you got a tip that a man had bomb-making stuff in his garage and you raid the house and sure enough he has it all. Then you find his cell phone. Wouldn’t you want to know who he had been talking to? And wouldn’t you want to know who those people were talking to and those people and those people? I dare say you would be remiss if you didn’t follow it out to the 40^th link.

But then you have the TV lady that reminds us that with all that information, they MISSED two pot smoking Muslim brothers, one of which had traveled to a known hot spot and had been kicked out of his mosque for radical behavior AND visited bomb-making websites.

Beer is coming out in a bag like this.

 Question: Would you drink beer out of a juice sack with a straw?

A couple of good ideas...

Back to the beer in juice bag question....you don't have to leave a comment. I know most of you would drink beer out of a bum's jock strap is that was the only choice.

Never, ever showboat until you cross the finish line...

Found this picture...it reminds me of the "golf cart" I bought on Overstock.Com for $1000. Not only was it Lilliputian, it wouldn't even work. I called Overstock and they said they would credite my credit card and that I should dispose of it as I saw fit.

 I should have been alerted to the scam when it was listed as a "GLOF CART", but anyway, I gave it to my buddy, Billy, who replaced one switch to make it work, then turned around and sold it to a guy with kids for $400 of which I got half.

My new, fancy "Global Electric Motorcar" gets a lot of attention. I begun to fuck with the guys who ask me about it with: "It's just a fancy golf cart. I just got it so I can get people close enough to steal their wallets." If they laugh I say, "By the way, your credit card is maxed out."

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!

You have to do what you can't not do...

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to grow up, I would build an awesome tree house.

 I guessing she does not want to know what is going through the bear's mind...

It’s called art photography…look it up.

What wouldn’t Jesus do?.....am I right?

 Another of that guy with the wind up key on his back...

One does not simply ask for good karma.

I am so eat up with empathy that if I come upon a broken chicken wing in my order, I can't eat it thinking about it's suffering prior to death.

Question: Are you as good at your job as this guy is at his?

My kind of coloring book.......god porn...

Half full or half empty:
I think it has to do with whether it's coming or going. If you are pouring and get half way, then it's half full. If you are drinking and it gets down to half way, then it's half empty. If the glass is not yours and you just happen upon it, then who the fuck cares.
You're welcome.

I know it's irrational, but I just hope I live to the day we find intelligent life elsewhere. I really, really mean that...

One does not simply ask for good karma...

Snape kills Dumbledore. There, I've said it.

My Mommy called...

There is a whole website that finds words that rhymes with other words. I typed in Ralph and got "sclaff" as a rhyme. It's a golf swings that strikes the ground before the ball, but that's no matter. I just don't see how it could rhyme.
(Two days after I created this post, I was watching LSU get beat by North Carolina in the College World's Series playoffs. I discovered that LSU has a player named Ralph Rhymes. Freaky that, but I think I had heard the name before without really remembering it and it gave me a subconcious impulse to see what rhymes with my name. And that shit is true.)

THEN THERE'S THIS...
I asked my new beautiful young bartender if she was still in school. She nodded, so I asked her major. She said, "Gender Studies."
I said, "I think every human being who has ever lived majored in the same thing."
She smiled.
I then said, "Gender Studies? I bet you can make a great sandwich."
She did not smile.
The next time I saw her I asked, "Are you good?"
She smiled and said, "I think what you meant to ask is 'Have you been doing well', otherwise you'll have to ask my boyfriend."
She's a real keeper.