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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

ADVENTURER’S LOG: EARTH CYCLE 14 - SATURDAY #1698



MERIDIAN, IDAHO
(Money Magazine says this is one of the best places in America to live. Did I mention they have no sales tax?)

We were forced to climb back on the interstate, since out here in the middle of nowhere there simply aren't any roads....seriously.
However, there were some great vistas on the drive...
I'm convinced that human beings would enjoy looking out over millions of rotting corpses if the view was from high up and you could see a long way.

An exit had one gas station and this...a boarded up motel. It was like something from an apocalypse movie...
 So I tagged it, but it was too obvious to Utinsilize...

In case you're interested...

Saw this on the drive...a giant sand dune...

Something I, as yet, can't explain...

Some human being had the task of naming a road and this is the best they could come up with?

Ate a great burger at this place, but I found this sign just a little pitiful...in a lose of faith in humanity sort of way...

In all the states out here, the trucks have to go 10mph slower than the cars. I have to admit it makes driving much more pleasant. Then there are these road trains that we don't have back home...

TRAVAILS OF TRAVELING WITH YOUR WIFE:
Somehow, my wife got up to pee last night and was in such a hurry that she leaned over too quickly and banged her forehead on the doorknob, resulting in a nasty red lump....but that's not the travail. The travail is me having to keep from laughing every time I looked at her. I may have given myself a hernia.
On the up side, her gaining so much weight is a big plus (no pun intended). It's 104 degrees here...TRUE...and I always walk in her shadow.
Also, my wife thinks porn is like cookies...always better when homemade....



Why is it so hard just to teach your kids to say "bitch please" and "bitch thank you"?



Dear Whoever Makes the Plastic Plates Around Wall Sockets,
Lose the slotted screw. Nobody likes them. Switch to philips. We only use common screwdrivers to pry things nowadays.
Sincerely,
People With Too Much Time On Their Hands


The longer you look at this, the funnier it gets...

If anyone ever tells you that your dreams are silly, just remember, there's some millionaire walking around who invented the pool noodle.


 So, black people are mad at white people over what a Mexican did?
TRUE: I know a live human being who just asked...
"Who is Trayvon Martin?  Isn't he that Dutch guy who killed the girl in Aruba?"




If hard work equaled success, this country would be run by Mexicans with leaf blowers.


Took this last night during my evening jog...
 No. No, I didn't.

Wife and I had finished our meal in that fancy place the other night and I had to fart so bad I left her to pay and walked outside. I let lose so fiercely that a homeless guy paused going through the dumpster to applaud. 
I gave him a buck.


People will believe almost anything you say if you precede it with "According to quantum mechanics".


Nephew sent me this...
Think about that a moment.


Beer: The reason I wake up every afternoon.




Why the hell isn't the iPhone's battery life called Apple Juice?





Just something else to worry about...

Must have gone down defiant as ever...





I've forgotten.

3 comments:

Spider Borland said...

You say you've forgotten what freedom feels like while taking a cross country backroads tour of the U.S.

Something tells me you're doing something wrong.

Ralph Henry said...

Maybe I painted with too broad a brush.

Spider Borland said...

Just enjoy your freedoms and have a safe trip home!

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