WEDNESDAY #1680

If this whole fiasco of a Zimmerman trial has taught us anything, it is to never, ever, under no circumstances, ever speak without your lawyer present...period...no exceptions...not even if you are innocent.

So what did your grandfather do yesterday?

Just guessing here, but the one you aren't even allowed to utter is probably considered the worse.

 Believe it or not, the above picture and the Jew Joke gag came in independently. Only after I uploaded both did they land next to each other and made me smile.
I had no idea, by the way, that the Orthodox Jews thought they were being persecuted by their government.

Which brings me to this:
The Mature Adult Content box to follow is the official start of the prepared blog made days ahead of schedule. Above that box (here) I place things that I think will be too dated and/or stale if not posted immediately...newsy things. Hope that clears it up for you.

I wonder if the "Mamas and Papas" ever played at a Planned Parenthood fundraiser.

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. The bartender said, "You mean a martini?" The Roman said, "If I wanted a double I would have ordered one."

Entropy isn't what it used to be.

So there's a cute way of telling the world you have had sex with so many people that you felt compelled to be tested for STD...

Am I the only one who goes on Youtube just to watch a music video, then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe?

My good buddy at yet another competition...

I watched the film and it was indeed eerie. These shots were taken by a security camera. Over the course of a few days the black Egyptian statue rotates completely around...on its own....

 I suggest that the vibration of a nearby air conditioner unit or some shit is the culprit.

I get a little sexually aroused over stuff like this...

Feed a cold. Starve a fever.
Give PMS anything it wants.

Do you ever wonder how an author would describe you in a novel? Not only your appearance, but the way you talk, laugh, hold yourself and all the expressions on your face.
......"And then there's this asshole."

Beauty...

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.


I had someone ask me about the image of the pregnant woman leaning over that I posted recently. She wanted to know why I thought I needed to include it.

So, here's the deal on the above image. I had never seen anything like that before and found it...interesting. That's all. I find something interesting and I think to myself..maybe my readers will find it interesting also.
Yeah, it really is that simple.

Why do I barely get internet service in a motel, but the goddamn Taliban can upload videos from a cave in Afghanistan.

Why the bidet never caught on stateside is a bit of a mystery. In 2007, NYU professor Harvey Molotch offered a few theories to The New York Times. Because the fixture was a French invention, it was rejected by the English, and that sentiment drifted across the pond. During World War II, the Times notes, American soldiers saw bidets in European brothels, "perpetuating the idea that bidets were somehow associated with immorality."

 Explaining Brazil riots in one photo...

 Starving woman going through dumpster for food as soccer fans exit stadium.

I'm so sick of that NSA guy reading my blog every day but never leaving a comment.

There's a fine line between wrong and visionary. Unfortunately, you have to be a visionary to see it.

One of my very own...

Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can't pronounce it.

????

Worst translation error I've seen in a long time...

 Host = guide, Parasite = guest.

Taxi fees....check out $50 charge second from the bottom...

You may have noticed that on my blog cats are conspicuously absent...but I couldn't resist this one...

How Antarctica looks under the ice...

When I see names carved into a tree, I don't think it's cute. I just think it's strange how many people carry knives on dates in the woods.

Grotto at the Rhone Glacier in Switzerland is draped with white cloth to keep it from melting...

 Basically, the grotto is a 100 meter cave dug out of the glacier to impress tourists. (Impress = Make money from)

Admiral, indeed...

Honey badgers don't give a shit.


Have you ever noticed how crowded the shallow end of the gene pool is?

Who was the idiot who passed up the chance to call astronomers "skyentists"? Or orcas "Sea Pandas"?


Some girls should be forbidden from wearing yoga pants. Today I saw a camel toe that looked like a queen sized mattress folded in half....

It's impossible to look tough with a pink daiquiri in your hand.

Well played, ladies, well played...

So it's come to this...

But why would you even give him a waterbed
He had scissors
for hands
scissors

At my age, masturbating standing up counts as working out.

Nature....go figure...imagine the time and pressure...

I have several of these old card catalogue files. I suggested my daughter use one as a wine cabinet...

RICH PEOPLE JOKE:
There are two kinds of people in the world: The Haves and the Have Yachts.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!

Men, we need to come up with a universal symbol for "Don't say that in front of my wife."

Wouldn't it be great if the slums in Italy were called "spaghettos".


I still find the dynamics breathtaking...

I was having lunch with my wife and several of her friends. One of them asked if I was still writing and was overheard by another woman who turned to my wife and said, "Debbie, you didn't tell me your husband was literate!"


Sex Day at the monastery.....and the chickens know it...

Amazing how delicious a lot of crustacea are....

 ...when they live on the ocean floor and behave very much like cockroaches.

Who's your daddy?

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...

Read that there are very few baseball jokes, then the article went on to tell one:

"A young lady arrived at her first ballgame during the 5th inning. "The score is 0 to 0," she heard a nearby fan say. "Oh, good," she cooed to her boyfriend, "then we haven't missed a thing."

(My friend, Kent, will get it.)