Dear Polish Viewers,
I appreciate each and every one of you. You are now more than the German viewers, which ought to tickle the shit out of you.
( Das war ein Witz. )
WHAT IS THIS THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS?!?!
Can you spell clusterfuck, boys and girls?
I've seen better soccer playing in a Tampon commercial.
What many young men think marriage will be like...
...this is more often the outcome...
( don't you just love the way the table inches across the room...reminds me of that documentary inside Soledad )
Is it normal for a penis to make a whistling sound when peeing? Or does that happen to everyone with one testicle?
Is it normal for a penis to make a whistling sound when peeing? Or does that happen to everyone with one testicle?
If you make a nursing mother feel uncomfortable...
...then fuck you.
Which reminds me.....
My mother never drank alcohol until she was 75 years old. One Thanksgiving after a few glasses of wine, with all of her family sitting around the table, she giggled and blurted out...."Everyone around this table has sucked on my titties!"
There was a weird very awkward silence.
Which reminds me.....
My mother never drank alcohol until she was 75 years old. One Thanksgiving after a few glasses of wine, with all of her family sitting around the table, she giggled and blurted out...."Everyone around this table has sucked on my titties!"
There was a weird very awkward silence.
The number one killer of song birds in the world...
This man IS NOT an idiot....
Thank you, Mr. Interior Design Guy. Thank you very much...
Eagles my soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
Read...
Why does toilet paper need to be advertised?
Do you allow yourself to be emotionally effected by a photo or work of art?
Why the fuck not?
Early morning bacon cooking on an open fire...it don't get any better than that...
I once paused Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory to get a Snickers....that's why I'm afraid to watch Breaking Bad.
France is taking steps to ban child beauty pageants.
Your move America.
After further reflection, I don't want my government to have the power to ban anything else. I say us offended people ought to contact the TV channels who air such trite and complain and/or boycott the sponsors.
You know what morning wood at 12:30pm feels like?
Unemployment.
Let's discuss something serious....very serious...
Why are so many Americans sitting this one out?
...I can only assume they trust their government to do the "right" thing...yet we know from history that power will always be abused...
I don't trust my government to do shit...except insure the rich stay rich.
This man promised to change Washington. That's why I voted for him.....once. Well, I'm still fucking waiting...
This man promised to change Washington. That's why I voted for him.....once. Well, I'm still fucking waiting...
Have they succeeded in making you so afraid that they have silenced your protests?
When we give our government the right to do this...
Our enemies have won.
Let's move on...
Let's move on...
This is Staring Man, the reporter photo-bombing expert...
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
If there is a god, he'll have to pray to me for forgiveness.
I mean, who the fuck commits the worse case of genocide the world has ever seen because HE was a bad educator?
Every bad thing that happens to you during your day is a direct result of you getting out of bed.
This is my idea of sex education...
...and every young man should be taught exactly what this means...
I always say "Morning" instead of "Good morning". If it were a good morning I would still be in bed.
Israeli general was asked how he managed to win a battle over overwhelming odds. He said, "It helps if you are fighting arabs." This is the way arabs fight...
One Easter my mother gave my brother, sister and me a colored chick just like one of these...
As they grew they reached a stage where only the very tips of the grown feathers were colored. Only one survived to adulthood, and once when my mother was taking a load of clothes down the backdoor stairs, she stepped on it and it's guts squirted out its asshole all the way across the lawn...a good twenty feet.
Yeah....try erasing that memory from your childhood.
Have you ever tried to wash your pet chicken's guts off your bicycle?
And the screams still haunt me...a shrill choking scream of agony that lasted for at least 15 minutes...and that was my mother. The chicken never moved a muscle, what being as thin as a toddler's first picture book. Damn.
Yeah....try erasing that memory from your childhood.
Have you ever tried to wash your pet chicken's guts off your bicycle?
And the screams still haunt me...a shrill choking scream of agony that lasted for at least 15 minutes...and that was my mother. The chicken never moved a muscle, what being as thin as a toddler's first picture book. Damn.
Religion has created the most magnificent structures known to man...
Yeah, right...
The most dangerous risk of all...the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.
READ THAT AGAIN.
Is there ANYTHING a person can write nowadays that DOESN'T get published?
This man wants to offer his art of a machine that counts off all the prime numbers....
As I understand it, the counter stops every time it comes to a prime number. You mash the red button and it goes in search of the next one.
I want one of these.
Even if money can't buy happiness, everyone wants to verify this on their own.
I learned a new word today...
I want one of these.
Even if money can't buy happiness, everyone wants to verify this on their own.
I learned a new word today...
Product placement done wrong...
This is true...
Good luck with trying to find that souvenir bracelet with your name on it.
The next time you start feeling all smug about the superiority of humans, just remember, we put other people's genitals in our mouths as a sign of affection.
Don't buy stuff you can't afford. Might good advice.
You women do know that this is totally out of our control, don't you?
If you think a man is supposed to look you in the eye while wearing something like this, then you have seriously miscalculated...
Now imagine the ridicule this man gets for doing basically the same thing...
I love cleavage. I hate being tried to feel guilty doing exactly what you planned for me to do.
Stop being pricks about it, ladies. I mean it. Stop.
Well...duh!
If you recite Satanic spells backwards can you get Satan to worship you....just wondering.
Every empty bottle is filled with stories.
I know I have said this before, but nothing in your life will equal a moment like this...nothing...
Well played, sir, well played...
The more helpless the victim, the greater the crime.
How to know when to close out your bar tab...
Do all you other street artists understand the meaning of creativity? The point, at least to me, is to produce something that no one has ever seen before...
I hear there's a new app called "Sense of Humor".
Download it, bitch.
Depression is not a character flaw. It is a brain chemistry flaw...
Life is short. Play with your dog.
"You...ah...ladies need any help with that?"
Fuck a little cleavage...you other ladies get with the program.
In the end, our society will be defined not only by what we create but by what we refuse to destroy.
In the end, our society will be defined not only by what we create but by what we refuse to destroy.
An atomic bomb test as seen from LA...
If your woman won't do stuff like this, you have the wrong woman...
One of the first images I ever posted...
Your guess is as good as mine.
AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
My wife sent me this link. It's not very long and I think you will enjoy seeing what a strong woman looks like.
>>>>> CLICK HERE <<<<<
NO POST TOMORROW.
AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
My wife sent me this link. It's not very long and I think you will enjoy seeing what a strong woman looks like.
>>>>> CLICK HERE <<<<<
NO POST TOMORROW.
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