MONDAY #1754

The weather man, in an attempt to explain the amount of rain they have had in Colorado in the last few day, said that if it had been winter, there would be 15 feet of snow on the ground.....and it's still raining, folks.

This headline is filled with many scary words...

And almost 1500 people LIKED that!

These two movies were made 20 years ago...

"To eliminate inbreeding, any lunar or Martian colony needs 80 men and 80 women," said the man who seemed to know what he was talking about.

My wife's good friend, Dianne Ford, a comedian, used this in her act and I assumed coined it...

Never thought about this un-king-like hair problem before...

A column at Scientific American encourages Americans to abandon traditional grass lawns in favor of other plantings. This encouragement is to assist domestic bees that are dying at an alarming rate.

Here is another interesting text accompanying a spam comment...

"At this moment I am going away to do my breakfast, later than having my breakfast coming yet again to read more news."

I find it really interesting that all the spam comments use the exact some format...like it's taught in school. First a very flattering generic (meaning it could apply to any site) comment, then skip a line, then an invitation to visit his/her site....which is always trying to sell me cheap drugs or some such shit.

Think high heel shoes...

Said the woman who wants to sell you something...

I watched an hours long special of news footage of 9/11. I was amazed at the thousands of women trying to walk home in high-heeled shoes. They were in agony, but couldn't remove their shoes because of the debris.

I found that the most damning evidence of the stupidity of our lemming society. We spend great amounts of money and time buying things because our peers expect us all to look pretty much the same, otherwise you are considered an "other".
I remember my mother's admonition about jumping off a bridge if my friends did it. I still find that very, very good advice.

This one is pretty damn clever...

 I usually don't care much for all those images chalked on streets and sidewalks...I mean, it's been done to death...but this one could be used as an anti-suicide measure.

Center pivot irrigation wastes the 15% of the land in the "corners"....

 As I understand it, the evaporating water leaves behind a little salt and over the years the land is left permanently unfarmable.

Came across some old OOMVO's and picked out some I still think are funny...

Southern porn is more of a community affair...

That, Gentle Readers, is one of the damnest photos I've seen in a long, long time. Did you notice that hardly anyone is even watching their cousins fuck?

Ever notice that when you find something funny online you smile and might snort, but if you are showing it to someone you laugh out loud?

Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

I think the snake thinks the tail is another snake...

This is exactly like the urinal in the art department at the University of South Carolina....very awkward...

Women are tagged with the original sin in many religions. Ever wonder why that's so?

 Men wrote the fucking books, bitch!

Moon dust on space suit...

 Elaborate precautions are taken to forestall cleaning after a museum cleaned all the dust from its exhibit from NASA.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!

I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused and wish I could apologize to each of those people personally.

This is the way my wife describes using the gas station restrooms...

Scenes like this are so common out west that I'm beginning to think the farmers leave the tree just to break the monotony...

Mishpocha: An entire family network comprising relatives by blood and marriage and sometimes close friends.

This eating myself to death is taking forever.

Just came across this and thought of Sunday's Anti-Sermon...

Twenty-five percent of those polled think that humans and other species evolved over time "without the guidance of God." Another 14 percent said humans and other species "existed in their present form since the beginning of time." But 46 percent said that humans and other living things have "evolved over time with the guidance of God."

The remaining 15% said, "Fuck you, get off my porch!"

(I made that last one up)
Before you Christians start feeling smug, just remember that about 46% believe in ghosts, that Obama is a Muslim and that Alaska is a country.
This is nothing new. I believe it was Mark Twain that said religion will fight every scientific advance until it can no longer be denied, then they will praise god for doing it....and thus is the case.

My bride...

Advice for young men: Marry a strong woman. Life will never be boring.

If you are not supposed to put Q-Tips in your ears, what the fuck are you supposed to do with them?

Read this book and you will never forget it...

You went back and sang that, didn't you?

Back when movies had well defined good and bad guys...

Inland flooding is the number one weather killer.

Clearly it's the devil's work.

Clearly.

Imagine her instructions from the photographer. 

No information on how large the containers are....I mean, this could be on a tiny, tiny scale.....

Men's bathroom walls are often very funny...

I once read this on the inside of a stall: FUCK A GIRL. IT'S FUN.

In a just society I would arrested for such tastelessness?