MONDAY #1767

We don't even have the political will to adequately fund Social Security or Medicare; so how are we expected to trust Obamacare will be any different?

The most wanted person in the world...

Part of Kenyan mall...

Said to be caused by the military.

New island created from Pakistan earthquake...

 I read it shouldn't exist long, but it's already a tourist attraction...

Insurance underwriters generally operate in the real world, where science trumps ideology (that's why terrorism insurance is pretty darned cheap -- despite the politically successful posturing of our leaders, terrorism just isn't a very big threat). That's why climate change insurance costs big bucks -- insurers know that it's real, it's coming, and it's really, really bad news.

The difference between the general Big Business propaganda intended to sow doubt about climate science and the cold, hard economic reality of underwriting the risk of climate catastrophe is telling. It's like the Texas Young Earth Creationists who profess a public belief in the 5,000-year-old Biblically accurate planet, but still allow their geoscientists to direct oil-drilling operations in accord with the blasphemous four-billion-year-old Earth. Money talks, bullshit walks.

Get it?

 [ that escalated quickly ]

I sit and listen patiently as my wife tells me every detail about how bad her day was...nodding occasionally...

A teaspoon of honey represents the life work of 12 bees.

It's not irony if it happens all the time...

Staff meetings reminded me of how easily I could be on America's Most Wanted.

There is no manly way to put on Chapstick.

I want to wish you the very best of luck if this is what you think life is about...

Am I the only one who feels weird shopping for a new computer on my old one?

Know why barns are painted red?

 Red used to be the cheapest paint.

Knew a Swedish exchange student. He told us about "Rafter Bread" that hung just like this and used as snacks...

 When he went back to Sweden he sent us some...now I know why they never sent men to the moon.

When I was in elementary school, an inept plumber connected a sewage pipe directly to the water supply. All of us students complained about brown flecks in the water fountain and then we had to take all kinds of drugs....true story...

 That should explain a lot about me.

Wife: "Knock, knock..........knock. knock......KNOCK, KNOCK! You're supposed to say 'Who's there'!"
Me: "I have a peephole."

Think anal fisting...

"Her. Her. Her. Probably him. Definitely her. Her. Him. Him." - typical game of Who in this Whole Foods Would Have Run Off With Manson.

Me: "Want to hear a really good Batman impression?"
Wife: "Sure. Go for it."
Me: "Oh, NO! NOT THE KRYPTONITE!"
Wife: "That's Superman."
Me: "Thanks, honey, I've been practicing."

For the wife...

Want to shake things up a bit? Try to buy the grocery checkout divider from the lady behind the counter. Of course they say it's impossible, but usually they ask what you would do with it. After that it's only a matter of how far your imagination and wickedness will take you.

This is fucking great! You take a stencil and spray it with Rust-Oleum NeverWet. It will only show up when it rains...

This is the one I want to do...

Somewhere there is a very satisfied clown...

Money ain't everything. But it sure takes the sting out of being poor.

People who have smoked marijuana...

A scanning electron micrograph of one of the diatoms found on a microscope stub aboard the balloon. “In the absence of a mechanism by which large particles like these can be transported to the stratosphere we can only conclude that the biological entities originated from space," Dr. Milton Wainwright, astrobiology professor at the university, said in a written statement. "Our conclusion then is that life is continually arriving to Earth from space, life is not restricted to this planet and it almost certainly did not originate here.”

 But the science doesn't support their claims, however, and that is why I hate them.

Another of my very rare cat posts...

If you haven't yet heard about the upcoming James Webb Space Telescope, there is an excellent video on YouTube.

You gotta love these bat shit crazy motherfuckers...

I think "You’re such a fucking dick" is the lamest of insults; as a matter of fact, taken the right way, it's more of a compliment.

All supervillians start out as cheeky children.

"Stephen, with a "ph"."

Yeah, but my dick is long.

One of the guys who transferred into my shop to work on nuclear weapons was so terrified that he would blow up the world that he stayed "lost" for the first two weeks. Only after being threatened with AWOL did he report for duty.

"Eve, we don't have snakes in the garden. It was just Adam with a sock puppet," god.

If you can "just barely" afford that house...you can't.

Double negatives are a no-no.

So there's that.

I'm probably lying.

Mother of god!

I wonder how many really smart people are poor...by any test of smartness you want to use. If that number is very low, then could it be said that as a rule poor people are stupid?

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
In case you have 15 or so minutes to hear something from a very wise man...
>>>>> CLICK HERE <<<<<