FOLIO OLIO: WEDNESDAY #1769

Wasps have killed nineteen people in northwest China, with nearly 600 severely injured. These are those killer wasps that will chase you for miles.

You've probably seen this, but....

Friends don't let friends drink this much....in public.....on camera.

Lots of blame to go around here, people. But it's already happened over and over again, so get the fuck over it.

????

I know too much about life to have any optimism.

Lambeau Field...

The Greek army.

What the fuck happened?

Heard this: "He was so far back in the closet he was in Narnia."

Guy found real places for properties on Monopoly board...

I had a young man say this to me the other day:
"All my friends are getting married and having kids and all I'm doing is getting really good at video games."
I really didn't know what else to say, so I invited him to one of my poker games.
I mean, if he's going to feel bad about a life wasted, I might as well make some money off of it.

I'm open for an over/under bet on which side of the Mississippi River these guys are from...

....but I KNOW they are Southern.

Netflix movie suggestion: Killer Joe.
Watch it and tell me what you think.

Have you ever had one of those days where you get on your own nerves?

STORY TIME:
I was having a couple of beers with some old friends when one of them...a woman...brought up cats...specifically her cat. She said that when she was a child, the sight of her mother's cat walking around on the kitchen counters freaked her out so much that when she was grown and got a cat, the first time it jumped on the counter she screamed so loudly that it never did it again.
I said, But you work all day. How do you know it doesn't jump up there when you are away?"
She said, Oh, he's a very calm cat.
I said...coining a phrase...There is a fine line between "Calm Cat" and "Feline Retardation".
The table found this much, much funnier than I would have expected.

I like to look at this from time to time...

Leviticus 19:28 – “Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.”

I think this is very, very beautiful...

My wife is talking about another tattoo. I would suggest that she consider this....I find it extremely erotic.

There's a Wizard of Oz joke in here somewhere...

Fiance takes her on a cruise and buys her a massive diamond and she bangs some poor guy she just met and steals the diamond.

- Titanic, the movie

Reminded me of my dear, yet dead, friend Dom Fusci. He was a man that I will openly admit was funnier than I. He said his father was Italian and his mother was Irish, so he didn't know whether to fight or fuck.

If I were a god, I would make my life no different than it is right this very moment. And I mean that.

Real lemmings don't commit mass suicide.

How...ah....cold is it?

Another miniature interior that I like...

Don't want darkies to vote? Spring this shit on them...Check out #20....and please read all of this and then wonder why black people are still so pissed off....

And that shit is true.

German Enigma Cipher...

It could be argued that this won the war for us.
With this we knew exactly were the U-Boats would be, but we sent our convoys into the area anyway....so the Germans wouldn't suspect that we could read their messages.

As soon as I hear someone say "Hog heaven" I know I have found a kinsman.
There's also another Southern lament: "And all." This is usually added at the end of bad news....."She's got the cancer and all." Or..."They threw him in jail and all."

Speaking of holes...

I am not a lilliputian dog man. I am a cyclopean dog man.

( I used the word 'cyclopean' tonight when my friend, the widow of a dear friend, said that her 15 year old grandson football player weighed 285 pounds. Then we got into a discussion of whether it was cy-clop-e-an or cy-clo-pe-an. It's cy-clo-pe-an. You're welcome. )

I've been working on a whole new group of Ones of My Very Own and some of them are hilarious....like that one. They will be posted in a week or so.

Looks like somebody lost a bet...

Now this is the way scientists ought to study marijuana...

I recently posted a OOMVO that had been picked up by a humor image site. I was not given credit. I was cool with that. Here's the way I feel about it.
When you meet a friend at a bar and tell a joke, nobody would even think of giving the party the name of the person who told it to you. If you did, you would be looked at strangely.
Well, why then when I find a visual joke on line should I feel compelled to tell everyone where I got it. You don't want your shit shared? Then don't put it on line.
A guy left a comment one time that went something like this: You can't make ALL of this stuff up. Why don't you give credit to the original source?
Well, fuck that. I thought it was funny and hope you find it funny...or interesting, but I'm not going to keep up with hundreds or thousands of who said what where.

My wife when I flush the toilet while she's showering...

I want poor people to get a college education as much as anybody, but have you seen the stats on the money we waste when we fund people that have no hope of making it through college? And we do it why? To make ourselves feel better?