WEDNESDAY #1783

One of my favorite people in the whole world works for the federal government and is now laid off. He sent me these pics to show me how he and his beautiful family subsist.

He lives in the middle of no where with his property abutting a lake. He has well water. He is well armed.
I want to go to his house during the apocalypse.

Oh, and he has a hen house for poultry and eggs.

And in related news, Saturn just came out as the first openly gay planet.

My loathing of office cubicles is only surpassed by my loathing of being locked in a cellar....and ignored by rule following sheep people.

 

Believe it or not, October is National Fetish Month.

I got nothing against fetishes...

 I've just never understood how they get started. I mean, one day did she look at her husband and say, "I've got an idea. Put on this ridiculous leather outfit and be my chair?" Then...what? Does he just say, "Okay."

NEW DELHI: For the first time, Delhi Police has cracked down on the sale of sex toys in markets like Palika Bazaar in the city and arrested one shopkeeper. After a tip-off, a team led by inspector Mukesh Walia raided Palika Bazaar on Tuesday and confiscated 14 such toys from a shop, a senior police officer said. The owner of the shop, Gurbeer Singh, has been arrested for importing and illegally selling sex toys.

Sex education in the barrio????

Motherfucker broke my world record...

 Yeah, but when he gets his ass kicked by some neo-Nazi meth heads, whose he gonna call first?

There are a whole collection of Lego project involving great architecture.....I think it's a good thing...

It doesn’t matter who your daddy was, it doesn’t matter who you used to be, what matters now is what kind of car you drive.

You would think someone as clever as I am could think of a caption for this image....but I'm coming up empty...

Anybody?

“I’d like to fuck up as much as Columbus and have a day named after me.”

American female soldier protecting an Afghan child...

I always carry around an index card with the word “You” written on it. When I hand it to someone and they ask what it is, I say, “It’s a list of people standing too close to me.”

Metal bands per 100,000 people...

There are basically two kinds of people in the world...

"On average, a person walks past 7 psychopaths a day," said the Fun Fact. I say the numbers are skewed by people like me who live with one and walk past her like 50 times a day.

If it's more than five feet away, it becomes unnecessary.

Try singing this one...

(they can't all be gems)

It's easy to write "All men are created equal", when...

 ...you deem some people non-humans.

And today in Nopeville...aka, Machu Picchu...

Halloween is, by far, the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch.

Evidentially, Harry could fly...

My wife was so worried about me getting a DUI that she sold my truck.

I am old enough to know better, young enought to do it again, and wise enough to know how not to get caught.

This ended just like I wanted it to...

I miss those TV shows that fuck with people...

Come to find out, this was from a movie that used real people and their reactions in this scene. Brilliant.
But, you don't need a fancy set to make your buddy look like a sissy bitch...

Doing it right...

 Doing it wrong....very, very wrong...

( a house covered in plants and they can't smoke any of them )

Elephant tusks found in one shipping container...

What's easier done than said?
Silence.

The closest I ever came to ninja was eating candy without my kids catching me....their Halloween candy.

I took a shit this morning and it was white and in little pebbles sort of like cat food. I'm wondering is this is normal.

I put the "pro" in procrastinate.

This is what passes as a joke in Europe...seriously...

I bet even aliens have to wear shit their grandma made them.

This is exactly the way I stay filled with wonder...

When I was growing up, we could take hikes into the woods behind my house and find the freshest water in the world. It looked very similar to this...

 But, of course, the same water had been available for thousands of years, so one would imagine that it would be a good place for native Americans to spend some time.

After years of us going there, a man bought the land, cleared the trees and plowed it. We kids would follow the plow and collected hundreds of arrow heads and other tools. Somehow my brother got them all and all of them were stolen during one of his moves.

Que sera, sera.

There is something disturbing about this...

When did we first discover the concept of glasses?
I mean, was an Egyptian Pharaoh walking around in his jewel room and put two crystals up to his eyes and was like, "Whooooooa, Neithotep, come look at this shit!"

 Back when we didn't hide all the inner-workings, just make them appealing...

Piano teaching method....cool...

What if they kept the name Redskins, but changed the mascot to a potato?

Go check your dryer for those missing socks...

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
My humble hamlet is being overrun by hordes of savages. Day time home break-ins; store robberies; drive by shootings; and gang initiations that involve harming people....lots of people.
Now the rub.
All these people (or at least the ones caught) are black. Many (most) are in gangs....real gangs like the Bloods and shit. So what do we do with this information? Do we risk being accused of racism if we hit those communities hard? Should (knowing all the shooters are black) we frisk every black kid in and around the university?
You tell me. I think you know where I stand.
This is a friend of ours making his own statement.