TUESDAY #1851

Snowed in Green Bay. They just put word out that they needed help cleaning the stands and fans showed up to get the stadium ready for the game...

There are some people who think that atheists are against good deeds. Nothing is farther from the truth. I dare say I give more to the down trodden than most Christians...both in money and my time...time being much more important.
I would venture to say that most Christians think that the money they put in the collection plate ever Sunday is all the giving they do. These people miss the whole point.
How many of you Christians wake up some mornings to find a homeless woman on their porch? And further, just sit and listen to her travails and offer suggestions?
How many of you hire a man right out of prison based on the fact that they are just out of prison and need a break?
Believing in the voo-doo supernatural bullshit does not make you a do gooder. Doing good makes you a do gooder.

NY Times vocabulary quiz determines where you are from.
>>>>>> CLICK HERE <<<<<<

DNA testing of 44 different herbal supplements from 12 companies found that 59 percent of the bottles contained DNA from ingredients that weren't listed on the label — and some of those ingredients are potential allergens.

Well train bombers, the ball is in your court...

 Try not to embarrass yourself.

People don't want to hear about your diet. Just shut up, eat your salad and be sad.

This Chinese guy lost his hand in an industrial accident. It was attached to his ankle to keep it alive while he was transported to a hospital that was capable of reattaching it...

DULCILOQUENT
: Having a gentle, sweet way of speaking.

When I was in the Air Force we all had heavy wool winter coats just like this one. They were, of course, blue, so many of us had ours dyed black and put bone button on...

They looked very similar to this.

Places we don't want to live...

There's nothing I like more than a game of "Try me".

What do you suppose that dog did to that cat?

 Of course, this was my reaction...

What do you call that fluid that oozes out of a cat when you squeeze it too hard?

 I once sat at a bar and watched a waitress rinse her table cleaning rag in the final rinse from the glass washing sink. They didn't understand why I suggested it was not a good idea.

It seems obvious to me that the expression "copyright infringement" doesn't translate very well into Mandarin.

No kinky stuff here, folks, just German troops preparing to cross river...

When the wife promises me a blowjob if I help her rearrange the furniture...

When I people watch, which I do often, I wonder how they moan during sex.

Some stuff to think about...

There are grown men who actually understands this...

I feel like people in horror movies live in an alternative universe wehre there are no horror movies.

Let's give a big shoutout to chickenpox. Only disease that says "you know what, we did our thing once and now I'm out of your life forever....peace."

The english language may be difficult to learn, but at least we don't insist on assigning genders to inanimate objects.

Girl wins....boys cries....

Look at that expression on her face.....victory.

What if all those conspiracy nuts actually work for the government just to make us believe all conspiracy theories are just bullshit.

What if we all slowly begin to change genders everytime we sneeze and that's why we always sneeze twice.

Oh, you wore shoes you can't walk in?

 Every other day you walked in them all day long around the office...you fucking idiot.

But isn't some of this manipulation the fault of these very women?

 Equality? The bitch has dyed, straightened hair, $100 nail jobs, breast implants, an hour's worth of make-up and store bought perfect teeth....pleeeeez.

Famous people fucking up...a favorite of mine...

 And for the guys who watched it four times for this, I offer you the money shot...

They built an identical replica of the first airplane and found that it is remarkably unflyable...

They deduced that to keep it in the air for any length of time was pure dumb luck.

Whenever women weigh themselves they ought to subtract 5 pounds because a girl's boobs should never count against them.

I like near misses...

People will stop asking you stupid questions if you answer back in interpretive dance.

Christmas trees should be complimented like breasts. If they are real, say they look artificial. If they are artificial, say they look real.

OOMVO...

I hate shower sex. It's cramped, awkward, slippery and I can never fit my dick into the faucet.