THE greatest quote I've ever posted...
If you have a stuffed deer that you want to get rid of,
how should you go about doing this? Not, apparently, by sticking it in a
sidewalk garbage can, as one NY resident recently did. The proper method, city
authorities say, is to "call 311 so that a contracted vendor can remove
the animal."
And that is another problem with unions negotiating with governments. It behooves the government to not only give the unions everything they want in order to buy their votes, but to add more public employees....i.e. a department to remove stuffed animals.
Why not "Llamel"?
I loved nudity. I used to stay naked as often as I could...
By all indications, I am not the only one who enjoyed such a past time...
But somehow, I have never been to a nude beach or nudist colony.
What's up with that? I would have been a good nudist.
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
PENIS SIZE:
If it weren't for my wife's mood swings, she wouldn't get any exercise at all.
This is a photo of the Chernobyl
"Elephant's Foot", a solid mass made of a little melted nuclear fuel
mixed with lots and lots of concrete, sand, and core sealing material that the
fuel had melted through.
Where's my pencil...
What a great idea...
Talking World Cup at the bar. German guy said, "Oh, yeah? How many world cups have you won?"
I responded, "How many world wars have you won?"
Another visit to Nopeville...
I don't stop to smell the roses cause they might be the gateway flower.
People would rather be sitting on the toilet with no toilet paper than with no cell phone.
My wife asked a stranger what her babies name was and she said, "Wolfgang." I said, "Did you use up all your favorite baby names on your cats?"
Using shades of pennies to create a design in floor....
My wife is lowering her sodium levels by crying on her chili cheese fries.
Damn I bet that hurt...
What if the universe had no beginning, and time stretched back
infinitely without a big bang to start things off? That's one possible
consequence of an idea called "rainbow gravity," so-named because it
posits that gravity's effects on spacetime are felt differently by different
wavelengths of light, aka different colors in the rainbow.
A group of tech companies -- AOL,
Apple, Facebook, Google, LinkedIn, Microsoft, Twitter, and Yahoo -- has written an open letter to President Barack Obama
and the U.S. Congress calling for a reform of government surveillance following
numerous revelations about the NSA's data collection practices. The coalition
presents five core principles to inform future surveillance reform: limiting
governments' authority to collect users' information, oversight and
accountability, transparency about government demands, respecting the free flow
of information, and avoiding conflicts among governments.
Just go ahead and kill me now...
"People" is the only magazine devoted exclusively to
celebrities and regular people murdered by their own families.
Scientists have found ancient fleas from the Jurassic and Cretaceous
periods. Some are nearly an inch long — compare to modern fleas that top out
around half that size — and the fleas seem to be adapted to biting through the
hides of dinosaurs.
Is there anything else I could add?
I knew I wanted to make her my wife the first time she held the back of her head while eating a banana.
Watch the crowd at the end.....scary...
My wife asked if her ass was getting fat. I said, "Well, it's not affecting the tides...................yet."
I threw my back out sucking my belly in.
The weird crap people do behind closed doors...
Why are people so fucking stuped?
"Under the weather". What a stupid term. Technically, everyone is under the weather.
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