WEDNESDAY #1845

This is a photo of my newest friend...

 His mother decided (without consulting me - the only artist she knows) and hired a local artist to paint the child from the above photograph.
When she went to pick it up, her hand went to her mouth and the "artist" said, "I KNEW IT!!! YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU ARE SPEECHLESS!!!"
This is the painting...

 Fucking bummer.....pun intended...

According to the Weather Channel, there are only six known photographs of winter waterspouts in existence. Then, last week, Jordan Detters captured a good minute and a half of video, showing winter waterspouts dancing along the waves of Lake Superior near Knife River, Minnesota.

 As you can see, there were dozens. The image above is just a small part of a panorama. It was impressive.

Google bought the company that makes such robots...

One such robot can out-run that Bolt guy; another can hurl concrete blocks. Another can traverse terrain like a mule.

Justin Tucker kicks footballs for the Baltimore Ravens. He kicked a league-long 61 yarder to win against a heavily favored Detroit Lion, causing me to lose a bunch of money. But this isn't about me, it's about him. He graduated with a music degree from the University of Texas and can sing opera in seven languages.
I'm impressed, and I don't get impressed often.

In other football news, they have a new Tony Romo action figure that is so lifelike it's a choking hazard.

This bullshit should embarrass any first world nation...

 In case you can't read it, the bar on the left shows how much money the average college grad owes. The tiny bar on the right shows how much money a homeless guy has...

SPHINCTURE: diluted secretions from canine anal glands which are used in Chinese herbal remedies

The darkly funny drawings of Laurie Lipton...

This from a new study I read...

Talking about masturbation also has benefits. Promoting sex-positive views in our own homes and in society, including around masturbation, allows us to teach young people healthy behaviors and attitudes without stigma and shame.

That study got me thinking about the whole "playing with oneself" thing...

I submit that every normal person that ever lived played with him/herself. That made it easy prey to people who wanted us all to feel guilty and come to them for redemption....

I also find it interesting that hardly anyone plans to masturbate. It just sort of happens....

But mostly I am confused about why almost everyone is "ashamed" of the deed, even if you KNOW it's normal...

I think that the deed requires (usually) a singular event with only you and you genitalia. I don't know why.
But there are far too few of people TEACHING how to do it better....

Animals play with themselves all the time and we don't accuse them of misbehavior...

Then along come some dysfunctional prick who teaches everyone else how to be ashamed and people fall for that shit...

Being human means doing what humans do...and that includes playing with yourself...

I noticed that the joke I told you a while back causes people to look uncomfortable until they laugh at the absurdity. The joke goes something like this...
"I masturbated so good last night that when I woke up this morning my dick was in the kitchen making breakfast."
I've gotten a lot of mileage out of that joke by the way, but the interesting part was the discomfort on the faces of the guys listening to it....like we must not even MENTION the word masturbation to another guy.

My sentiments exactly...

I listened to a TV ad for Glad garbage bags that hold twice as much as the other bags. It was claimed that they would reduce the massive garbage dumps by half. 
Think about that a minute.

Heard a great new word: CONVERSATE.
We all know what it means, but it's not a real word.

 That's the way I feel about the housing bubble people who whined about the banks actually expecting you to pay back your loan.

This, boys and girls, is how to advertise a movie...

A utensil holder that I want somebody to buy me...

If Monday was a girl, it would be a fat girl who likes horses and tells the teacher when you cheat.

Have you ever just stopped and looked at an obligation and thought, "I can't do that without alcohol."

What a great thing to do with a child...

 Molten aluminum poured in an ant hill.
They mount these on a wood base and sell them.

Whenever I shoot my guns I feel strong enough to protect me and mine.........for about an hour.

Just say no. No matter what they tell you, this is not mandatory...

It's call Situational Awareness and it's a good thing...

Want to know what this guy in Afghanistan is thinking about?

Yeah, this is it...

I think sometimes you can over-design something just to be different. This solves no problems and looks rather dangerous to me. But, of course, I'm old...

?????

Don't forget about these guys. We are still paying them to shot people and be shot at...

Six of them died Tuesday when their helicopter went down in enemy territory.

A praying mantis that looks like a flower...

 It just sits there waiting for a bug to land on it, then, of course, he eats it....

Am I the only one who gets pissed off when my illegal free website doesn't have the movie I want to watch?

I want one of these...

Can you spot the one NOT engaged?

I was asked if I was "into" social media.
I asked if Pornhub was considered a social media.

 Oh, look, the northernmost Nopeville...

 I stood on that beach one time. My wife found a stone shaped like a heart...and it had a perfectly round hole right through the middle. We almost cried.

Guy found this little guy frozen in his front yard...

 ...so he warmed it up, feed it with an eye dropper and now it scampers around his house playing with his dogs.

I would like to meet that guy.

Two words: BUILDING SEVEN...

A spoon with a built-in toothpick...

Have you ever watched people think about a conversation in their head and make the correct corresponding facial expressions. It's like the trifecta of people watching.