SATURDAY #1467

Humans were never meant to have Chlamydia. Someone obviously fucked a koala.

There are a lot of people torn between their love of the Catholic faith and their racism against Latin people.

Last night my wife woke me in the middle of the night.

I was lying in a semi-fetal position with my back to her, on the extreme outside edge of my side of the bed.
Faster than I have ever seen her move, her foot, toes splayed (see above) streaked across the bed, traveled the entire length of my butt crack, then across the bottom of my ball sack.
Needless to say, it startled me, so I grabbed her leg and flung it across the bed....and she got mad at ME!!

WARNING:
I have a friend who walked down an alley to take a piss on St. Patrick's day, got caught and is now on a sexual offenders list.
Be careful out there, my friends.

Why don't they just make it illegal to shoot people with assault weapons?

And the bad news is....

I can't remember which is the fucker and which is the fuckee...

An appropriate one of my very own...

OOMVO...

Seriously, how does Wikipedia make money? I know it's volunteer and stuff, but there has to be overhead. With no ads, I just don't get it.

If you don't recognize this, you are not Southern...

1000 words...

Due tomorrow....do tomorrow.

Yeah, it's a wonderful world...just ask this guy...

This is what insanity looks like...

I once told my first wife that I could stand flat-footed on the floor and jump onto the dining room table. And I did.

Then she said that she could do it also. I said, No you can't, so don't try. She did anyway.
Now go back and look at the clip above and this time watch the young man's hands. Do you see how fast his hands move...the hands that barely miss the counter?
Well, my first wife's hands did not miss the edge of that table and she almost broke eight fingers. She was a mess.
The zinger is that she was a classical pianist and still.....had.....to.....practice.

FRIDAY #1466

And still disappointed that there's no progress on Dark Energy or Matter.

 Eaten by mountain rats.....damn.

This is one of those panorama pictures that captured a running dog...

Here's the way he turned out...

And this is what the internet did with it...

I wrote a children's book about dolphins. Here's the way it started...

Many, many years ago in Habitat Bay in the Sea of Harmony on the far side of the East Ocean a dolphin calf was born to a loving cow named Nurturee and strong bull named Vigilance.

From the moment that Nurturee gently pushed her calf to the surface of the sea to take in his first taste of sky, she and the proud Vigilance began to teach their first and only calf to feed himself.  From his very first day of life he had begun to work very hard to learn all that he was taught by his parents, who bragged to all of their friends and relatives that their son was the fastest learner in the whole ocean.  They named their son Protagonis.

Two unusual bikes...

Let's all give a shout out to evolution for not giving wings to snakes.

There is supposed to be a moving GIF in here someplace. I couldn't find it...

It's always bothered me that the native people dress up in their "native garb" for the benefit of tourists...think Cancun and the ridiculous "Mexican" outfits the waitstaff wears...

This is a marten that got on the field. What you can barely see at the very end of this clip is that the marten bit the holy shit out of this guy...

If guns kill people, all of mine must be defective.


Watch this mishap...

Now go back and watch the hand of the interviewer. 
"Okay, nothing to see here, back to the interview."

How to tell where the rich folk live and where the poor folk live...

Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't Happy.


Still playing around with high contrast...

As I understand it, there is a way for someone to take control of your computer and watch you through your own camera...

Astronomers have found two new planets, they are in that guys pants....

SAID TO BE TRUE:
If all the gold from the oceans and seas were mined, it would yield enough for every person on earth to get 44 lb of it.


This is outrageous...

This was presented to me to be true...

Look carefully at the expression on the family's faces...

Ordered a Caesar Salad today, then proceeded to stab it 23 times. Nobody else got the joke.


British resolve....

Each day try to be just a little less of a shit.

I think how you choose says a lot about the kind of person you are...

In the quaint shopping district near my home, there randomly appear young people who are called "Train Hoppers." These people are relatively clean, intelligent, and as far as I know, drug free. They mostly have huge backpacks and it is not rare for them to have musical instruments. They sit on the sidewalk, play music and collect money to finance their travels.

They are not bums. They are just traveling around America on trains.

Want an example of bullshit? Here's one now...

I couldn't quite figure this out, but it does seem to be  filled with passion...

I think, therefore I'm stressed.


Is this real? A camera that translates automatically?

Okay, I'm impressed....

Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters.
(read that again...I really like it)

Two of my very own...

I'm sorry that I can't tell you whether this is true or not. Many sites I frequent don't offer a bunch of explanation. But it's supposed to be a Palestinian dealing with a tear-gas grenade...

Rule #39 in 5...4...3...

...as soon as she feels that leech inside her shirt.

How to know the dress designer was a heterosexual male...

The brain is the most important organ you have....according to the brain.


This is me sitting through news of the pope bullshit...

I feel the same way about this as I do about simply listing the war casualties in a tiny paragraph on page 12...

Fools. I have never understood many people's revulsion of the human body.

Think about this...

Two people having sex is so loathsome to many people that laws have been passed concerning the rest of us viewing it.
Yet at the same time, there seems to be no limit to the violence we allow our children to watch.

I think every kid in America ought to see this clip....at least once...

2600 people form DNA to celebrate 60^th anniversary.

I wonder if Rosalind Franklin was represented.

I can only hope that was just dirt...

Let's revisit this image...

When it occurred to me that my friend was Jewish and would not survive a German occupation of America, I knew that for me the war wouldn't be over with our president's surrender. I would fight to the death to protect my friend.

THERE WILL BE A RARE SATURDAY POST TOMORROW!!!