FRIDAY #1887

Golf has more rules than game.

A friend of my wife is a week late giving birth to her first child...

 She has tried every old wives' tale for how to hurry it along....even hula-hooping. And she filmed it and posted it. Yeah, if was very funny.

We probably ate most of the mammoths.

Magnificient....

 No...go back and look at that again...breath-taking.

It has been far, far too long since I've been to the beach...

What a GREAT idea....video game AND exercise...

Got the anti-smoking talk from my doctor. I said, "Oh, I should have died a long time ago from years of kinkiest sex that no sane man would ever admit to."

So it's come to this has it...

 Not to be too corny, but in my case, that is very true...

Shedding it's antlers scares the shit out of albino deer...

 I always laught at albino deer scared of shed antlers.

The army now allows this...

Allow me to apologize in advance for what I will do to your bathroom on Super Bowl Sunday.

Ouch!

Lines from the movie that are guaranteed to make you smile...

 They left out two of my favorites:

"It could be worse."

"Walk this way."

Sounds like a great name for a bar...

 ...or rock band.

The Japanese take their wood planing very, very seriously...

I hope their mother didn't see that...

My nephew sent me this picture of a German beer that took 7 minutes to pour. He thinks that makes it taste better...my jury is still out...

Then he came upon the lesser beer...

 And here's Clint Eastwood blowing head off his beer because...well, I can post whatever I want...

 Can we assume that they did not die of natural causes?

Uncle Ralph's advice for the dimwitted....

Guy wanted to tell the world he was making a new start. Oops.

 18 ways......I find that shit hilarious. Like you are a little boy learning how to tie your shoes. And remember, if you tied your neck tie in, say, a bow like your shoes, you will be ridiculed at best, completely shunned at worst.

Like I said, hilarious.

 I find it interesting that people who would never dig up a new grave to look at the body feel it's okay to fuck with the remains of people who have been dead a long time.

 Speaking of...

Amazing...

Do you remember my art concept of "sympathetic angles"? That's when the angle of some elements in the design align with other angles. The eye likes these and even if you don't notice it, it makes the viewing pleasing.

 Now look at all the sympathetic angles on Picasso's work above....they are everywhere.

 This image is begging for one of my little stories about stairs.

 What the fuck does this mean?

Well...

 ...if you pretend to push it, it doesn't move.

That reminds me of this:

If you call a dog's tail a leg, how many legs does a dog have? The answer is four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it so.

This is a good idea. When my wife and I have something important to do the next day, we leave a note on top of our coffee mug, knowing we will see it...

Drinking problem?

OOMVO...