THURSDAY #1911

Which states have the happiest citizens?

OOMVO...

I once knew a man who divorced his wife because she made more money than him...and that's true. Go fucking figure.

Individuals who worked with the Manhattan Engineer District for more than one year were awarded a silver medal. Those with less than one year's service received a bronze medal.

This really looks like one of those painted people who blend into the background, but it really is made of bricks.

The carving was done when the clay was wet, then fired and erected. I like how the mortar was shaped for the fingers.

Of course, not everybody who works with bricks is so artful...

 An English butcher shop...

Saw a whole list of the people famous people hire. This was my favorite...

Can you imagine a country cutting benefits for these folks? We all ought to be outraged...

Woman thinks robbery is hilarious...

People Who Believe In Hell Tend To Be Less Happy, New Survey Shows

"All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it."

?????

By the end of this year, if a Chinese entrepreneur gets his way, digging will begin on a waterway that would stretch roughly 180 miles across Nicaragua to unite the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. Giant container ships capable of carrying consumer electronics by the millions (or T-shirts by the billions) could begin making the passage by 2019...

Give this one a moment...

It's weird how British people say "lift" instead of "elevator" and how my wife says "you are a disappointment" instead of "I love you".

Welcome to the internet. We will be your guides...

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

You know what's all the rage on the internet? Rage.

FATHER: Future prison population reduction specialist.

Well, I know poverty. When I was growing up my only pet was a flea from the neighbor's dog. 

Being an adult means understanding no one has a clue what they're doing.

My wife eats with the confidence of a much thinner woman.

There's the dog....a little lame I would say...

Muslims aren't permitted to take a one-way trip to Mars, at least according to a Khaleej Times report about a fatwa they say was issued by the General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endowment in the United Arab Emirates. “Such a one-way journey poses a real risk to life, and that can never be justified in Islam... there is a possibility that an individual who travels to planet Mars may not be able to remain alive there, and is more vulnerable to death.”

The Bitcoin community is on edge as Mt. Gox exchange, a longtime pillar of the virtual currency, is missing hundreds of millions of dollars worth of customer money and is heading for bankruptcy.

My English teacher once accused me of plagiarizing an essay I wrote about my own life.

A team at IBM recently developed what they call a High Concentration Photo Voltaic Thermal (HCPVT) system that is capable of concentrating the power of 2,000 suns, they are even claiming to be able to concentrate energy safely up to 5,000X, that’s huge.

The process of  trapping the sunlight produces water that can be used to produce filtered drinkable water, or used for other things like air conditioning etc. Scientists envision that the HCPVT system could provide sustainable energy and fresh water to communities all around the world.

Do you think anybody has smelled fish genitals to see what they smell like?

The Great Auk was a large flightless bird that lived on remote islands across the North Atlantic. In 1844, a group of Scottish fishermen captured the last Great Auk in the British Isles. They kept the bird tied up for three days until an ominous storm arose. Believing the bird was a witch responsible for their predicament, the men clubbed it to death.

Said no woman ever...

I think I've nailed the murderer and I did it since the second show...

The small, skittish Tarpan was a prehistoric breed thought to be the ancestor of all modern horses. During an attempt by Russian conservationists to capture her for a breeding program in 1890, the last Tarpan was accidentally chased off a cliff and fell to her death.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...

I finally received my bone. It's a casting from a real bone and is slightly antiqued.

 I was going to put it at the top of a walking staff, but then I noticed that the part I broke fits my hand perfectly, thank you very much...

 So I made a cane...

The hardest part was joining the two parts together in such a way as to make it capable of holding all my weight if need be.

That, Gentle Reader, is part of a handle for a roller extension for painting.

The leather lace? That part was ugly, so I covered it up.

My therapist went nuts over it, claiming everybody will want one. I, of course, told her that was completely out of the question.
On a lighter note, my wife posted my cane on Facebook and one of her friends wrote back: "Good thing he didn't have a vasectomy."
And on a personal note, I think the motherfucking cane is motherfucking magnificent.