Something that amazes me...
Let's suppose you were in, say, a saber battle and you got a gash completely across your butt cheek, all the way to the bone....as below...
Well, that's exactly what happened to my ass and as soon as I woke up from surgery they had me on my feet. Somehow - I haven't figured this out yet - I could sit in a chair without even favoring my uncut side.
Go fucking figure.
My therapist did give me permission to walk out to my studio, which is a very, very good thing. I have a doctor's appointment today to get my staples out, and that will probably exhaust me, but plan to live out there as soon as I can....ice storm permitting.
By the way, the power companies are recalling ALL of their crews lent to other states in anticipation of major shit in our area.
I have suggested that the wife and I pack up the car and head south for a couple of days, but she will have none of it. I'm a better safe than sorry kind of guy.
"MISERY LOVES COMPANY"
Bullshit! I don't want visitors. I have never wanted visitors. I don't want to have to explain shit. I don't want to act nice when I'm fucking miserable. I don't even like phone calls, but some sneak through. People always ask: What have you been doing to keep busy?
I always say, "Playing with my fucking balls."
They laugh, then find an excuse to hang up.
During times like these, I can barely tolerate my own wife and I know that bitch loves me or she would have kicked my ass out years ago.
Are there any animals that are allergic to humans?
OOMVO...
One time my young daughter called the police to report her stolen nose.
Do want...
This is a heated box for sleeping...
OOMVO...
This is powered coffee creamer...
In Europe they know the airfields would be the first targets, so everyone practices taking off and landing from highways...
This guy paints himself...
But, I assume, to add interest, he paints his painted face...
My wife has a certain spot that if I touch it just right her leg starts shaking like a dog. "Who's a good girl?"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that said clown penis.
And doesn't he look pleased with that...
If I'm not mistaken, the words "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" have never been used in the same sentence.
I once caught my young daughter watching one of my porn channels. I explained to her that it wasn't a realistic depiction of sex and that triple penetration rarely happened in real life. She started crying. I felt like a dream crushing monster.
I thought I was handling my..."discomfort" pretty well, then I caught myself yelling "Fuck you!" at my toaster. Then I apologized to the appliance and continued to talk to it.
*****
(that shit is true)
*****
"The perfect texture for running."
Ah gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.
Yeah, this would probably freak me out also...
A Russian orphanage...look at those faces...
Each and every one of them has future Mafia enforcer written all over it.
This took me a minute...
I've always thought the phrase "amateur gynecologist" very funny.
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