FAT FRIDAY #1938

I would like to extend a special welcome to my German visitors. You guys have beat out every English speaking country in the world except the USA.

I have an email address just for this blog...

You could really help me out by sending me any images that you find that you think merit inclusion in Folio Olio. Thanks.

ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

Go fucking figure...

Those motherfuckers built houses on top of the last mud slide (see scare on hill). Who does that?!?!
And another thing, if this is a natural occurrence that happens regularly, you would think over the millions of years the land would be flat as a plate. I mean, the hill keeps slipping into the valley, but there is nothing to rebuild the hill.

And I know you've all heard this non-sense...

But my question is, How did I live almost seven decades and never hear the term "Chinese smuggler" before? And I was paying fucking attention, I shit you not.

My wife is a porn star. She is going to be pissed off when she finds out.
(think about that a minute)

I keep posting things like this to make you feel better about yourself...

 But what do you suppose is in that container?

Two awkward conversations...

Einstein developed a theory about space.
And it was about time, too.

 It's true, girls. We only do that shit so we will get fucked...

I'm not saying my computer is old, but the repair man said he might have to replace my grandmother board.

We English speakers believe that loudness is the key to translation.

Probably in a delta...

I tried being nice to a woman by holding the door open for her, but she didn't seem to appreciate it...she kept screaming "I'm peeing in here!"

If men saw the crazy positions women get into to shave their legs, they would demand kinkier sex.

Beetle - 1

Wasp - 0

I'm so sick of cold weather. I can't wait for it to get as hot as your girlfriend's sister.

Never before has a generation so diligently recorded themselves accomplishing so little.

Can you spot the people who really, really don't want their picture taken?

I'm an artist with a fondness for timepieces and reuse, so you know I like this...

Since my "unfortunate incident" I'd probably have cabin fever if I wasn't already so lazy.

On the rare events that my wife actually cooks, she pretends she's on a cooking show and talks to the imaginary host through what she is doing, even cracking the occasional joke to the "audience".

Well, girls, let me ask you something...

If you went home with a guy who took this off prior to climbing in bed with you, what would you think? That you had been duped? Be real careful how you answer.

Read an article about all the gangs in America. These people would just as soon kill you as look at you...

Is this what our future will look like?

And in some places it's damn near true already...

And on a related note, this is part of an article I read....

 Forget the photoshop, look at the perfect weapon for Walking Dead. It is long enough to kill the zombies without getting too close and looks quite lethal...

I would have a spear thing on both ends, but I'm a bit of an over-achiever.

My daughter once held two cartons of milk, pretending that the two missing children were fighting one another.

How to spot the profession with tenure...

That was just for my daughter who is seeking (seeking?) tenure as we speak. 

Here's my take.

There was a study done when I was in graduate school that "proved" that students with electric frying pans in their homes did better in school than students who did not.

Of course, it had to do with family income; more well-to-do families have the discretionary income to buy the frying pan, and these households also, typically, have the money for books, travel, and other enriching activities.

It could be argued that the same applies for the purchase of gum.

If you are going to Gramer-Nazi someone, you must make sure that you yourself are un-Gramer-Nazi-able, or else you just look like an idiot.

OOMVO...

Death is the poor man's doctor.

 Speaking of...

My young daughter once asked me if I had ever killed anyone. I was rather flattered.

Street art I can tolerate...

People with something to say...

Now let's compare all of that to this...

A dog pissing on stuff just to mark his territory.

1493-1496: Sleeping at The Last Supper by Pietro Perugino

 Check out the expression on the guy on the right...

Looking directly at the "camera" reminds me of House Of Cards.
By the way, I'm catching up on past episodes of House Of Cards and last night there was the most shocking scene I've ever seen in a story. Seriously, I hit pause so fast and went immediately into the house to tell my wife of my jaw-dropping shock. Here's a hint:

 I never experienced anything like writer's block. I used to have to keep a notebook and pen next to my bed to jot down the plot solutions I dreamed about and there were always notecards in my pocket.

What kind of shit is this to teach a child???

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else can get on.

Strange to read about middle schoolers being sexually active. When I was that age I wasn't even socially active. I'm still not socially active. I'm not even active.

"Please don't eat raw cookie dough."
Why, Pillsbury? Worried I might be happy for FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES?!?!

 TUMBLEWEED TORNADO OF FIRE!

While firefighters were responding to a brush fire (to the right) and trying to stop it at the firebreak (road), a large dust devil (small tornado?) moves in from the left. The tornado picks up hundreds of tumbleweed...

Then the tornado moved out over the fire...igniting the tumbleweed...

 Then the tornado, ladened with burning tumbleweed, moved back over the firebreak and set the other side of the road on fire....

Yeah, those are tumbleweeds.

Got any kids? Read them this...