THURSDAY #1944

 Well, fuck you, GM.

I know you're as outraged as I am over this...

My question, of course, is why she didn't just order him put in solitary confinement and be done with it?

This is so fucking....real....

It is not a question of "if" that rock will fall; it is only a matter of "when". So all of these people are betting their lives for......what? To show friends and family that they are "brave"?

In each endeavor there are two possibilities: Things will proceed as planned, or things can go far, far south. I ALWAYS weigh these two alternatives and try to select my battles with the odds carefully.
In ALL the examples above, I would opt out...the payoff for a successful outcome coming up lacking.

She: “Cursing is so unbecoming.”

Me: "I’ve found that becoming is extremely overrated. So go fuck yourself."

Interesting...

Boys have it rough. We aren’t allowed to wear makeup, so if we’re ugly, we’re fucked.

This brings up a whole range of questions...

As I have said many times, conspiracies are extremely difficult to maintain over time - people just can't keep their mouths shut. In the above example, we could accept that the big boys in the board room could, in fact, swear themselves to secrecy. But what about the secretaries who typed it up, of the office boy who ran the Xerox machine?
But more fundamentally, people have a real need to believe things that are totally irrational just for the sake of "knowing" something that other people do not know. We've seen it over and over - from UFO sightings, to the JFK murder, to parent fearing vaccines. I try very, very hard not to believe bullshit, but I've been guilty of such foolishness in the past. The important thing is to have a permanent, internal re-evaluation process to cull through your beliefs regularly.

It was stated that this is what a grandfather left his grandson in his will...

Walking Dead is kind of fun to watch. I've always wondered why they never moved their home base to an island, since zombies can't swim. But then there's little questions - like, why they don't put bayonets on their weapons. It's like none of them sat down like rational human beings and had a brainstorming session.
For instance, not one group tested various liquids on the zombies. For all they know, squirting bleach on them will cause them to melt. Stuff like that spoil it for me.


Seriously, is there a crazier human on the planet?

And he has nuclear weapons. Scary, that.

 So......we rape cows?

I think this is more or less true...

I have given up on whole video clips because it had a 30 second ad at the beginning.

Ummmmm....

Uncontacted tribe in Amazon...

There seems to be a world-wide consensus not to contact these people. I have mixed opinions about that. I mean, what if one of them had a simple infection that is liable to kill them and one jar of medicine could make them all well? Do we just let them die?

I buy extra large denim shirts. I do this because I, literally, plan on wearing them for 20 years. Each shirt will shrink ever so slightly with each wash, so by buying them too large, they end up not too small. But I have been asked about them....at first they hang to almost my knees.

"Why do you wear your shirts so large?" he asked.

"Well, it’s to hide the ragging boner I get when I see attractive young men like yourself."

Throughout her career, it is believed that Annie Oakley taught upwards of 15,000 women how to use a gun. Oakley believed strongly that it was crucial for women to learn how to use a gun, as not only a form of physical and mental exercise, but also to defend themselves. She said: "I would like to see every woman know how to handle guns as naturally as they know how to handle babies."

I like to sleep so much that I wake up exhausted from sleeping so hard.

I was once asked by a reporter, "How do you mentally prepare for a mural?"
I said, "I usually freak the fuck out."

MARRIAGE: For the husband it's like single life with auto-correct enabled.

My dog once looked at me with a look that said, "You want me to 'come'? Could I just fake it like your wife?"

Proposal to drop bed sheet sized probes all over a moon or planet...

The advent of the mobile phone has really ruined the humor of pushing a fully clothed person into a pool.

Alot is not a word. You don't write alittle, abunch, or aporkchop. So don't do it.

So if I understand correctly, every kid in the world came up with the idea of playing "the floor is made of lava" independently.

If you only know what a Christian T-shirt does to most people in the world.

Back when fairs used to be real fun...

 ...but not so much for the freaks.

If you ever want to break up with your girlfriend, don't tell her, just take her to Arby's on a date and she'll know.

If you were born on April 1st, no one would believe you.

What if instead of police dogs, there were giant, dog-sized police spiders.

OOMVO...

Let's do sports, shall we....

On any campus in the world, a whistle makes you a god.

White people....go figure...

I love shit like this...

I remember when I first looked out over the Arecibo Receiver in Puerto Rico where my daughter worked for a while, I said, "They ought to display a piece of it up here on the viewing platform so we can see it up close."
She pointed directly in front of me where was displayed a yard square section.
Then she giggled.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
Health Update - My stride is getting more fluid by the day. I still don't feel comfortable without my cane, but I think that is more in my mind. Let me explain.
The Frenchman who invented the hot air balloon was having trouble getting the mayor to take a ride. It seems that the mayor would freak the fuck out when the balloon got more than a few feet off the ground. The balloonist even took the mayor up in the bell tower to show him that heights alone were not dangerous. It didn't help.
Then the balloonist hit on an experiment that worked. He had an associate hold a spool of twine and instructed the mayor to hold the other end. As the balloon rose, the mayor still felt he had contact with the ground. Illogical? Yes. But it worked.
That's what the cane does for me. Even when I barely hold the cane I walk normally, but as soon as I am not holding it, I limp around, not trusting my left to do what it's suppose to do....namely, hold me up.
So, I finished my walking staff and it is the perfect substitute for the cane.

 This is the sampling I cut from my nephew's house. It had a vine growing around it for years, thus the unusual shape...

 I picked this particular tree because after the bark was removed and it looked like it was covered in open abscessed tumors...

The twists fit my hand like it was made just for that purpose...

I have since wrapped the metal joiner with leather...

Because I like leather.
(Did you notice I'm letting my beard grow out? Can't have a mere nephew out-beard me when we go to the beach.)