TUESDAY #1984

Hydrox Cookies are making a come back. I prefer them greatly over Oreos. They have less of that slimy white goo and ground up in milk to make a chocolate mush is delicious. I ate a lot of it as a kid.

 Hydrox is older than Oreos, being first produced in 1908.

He (She) was quoted as saying "I think we did something here."

For whatever reason, I have just "acquired" a whole bunch of Russian viewers in the last week. I don't mean to make fun of you guys personally, but Russians in general do some funny ass shit...and I mean that in a good way. Welcome and enjoy you stay.

During the championship soccer match, Man City brought three players OFF THE BENCH who each made at least 30 million pounds a year. That's obscene.

Celebrity-driven Twitter campaign calling for help for kidnapped Nigerian girls used the hashtag #BringBackOurGirls, and appropriated photos of totally unrelated young women from a totally different African country.

Freeman Dyson, 90, is a mathematical physicist of almost legendary status. He made his name with a brilliant 1948 paper on quantum electrodynamics and went on to do pioneering work in a dizzying array of disciplines, including astronomy, spaceflight, and nuclear engineering. He has shifted his focus from research to writing. "I went through a midlife crisis like other people when I discovered I wasn't as smart as the young guys down the hallway," Dyson said in the interview, which was conducted in his office at the institute. "And so I had to find another line of work."

(I find that extraordinary)

I misspell so many words my wife once asked me if I had dyslexia. I said, “Have it? I can’t even spell it!”

How true...

White Wine: Helping old ladies embarrass themselves for centuries.

If weed affects your short-term memory, 

why do I always remember to smoke weed?

I've posted this before...

...but I never noticed that the other guy closes the door like he's locking the injured man in the basement to avoid an insurance claim. 

 Ergonomically speaking, wouldn't it be easier just to turn your car around?

That shit turns more men gay than any other cause.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the ugliest automobile ever designed...

Did you notice it has three wheels?

Was sent this photo of "stacked" rocks, but he apologized that he couldn't show the scale. The rocks are huge. I can only assume they were configured when a glacier receded...

As an expert, I can tell you that pressing harder with your crayons will not improve you drawing.

This is one of my favorite people in the whole world...

 I can guarantee you that she will mature into not only a beautiful woman, but a beautiful woman with intelligence and confidence.

An unusual chance odd...

Reuse is a marvelous thing. There are millions of pallets just sitting around and people PAY to have them hauled off. We can do better...

 Plus the floor is unique and beautiful.
I further think pallet wood would make a beautiful wainscoting. 

The circle of life....

Hey, Christians, if atheists are so bad, why didn’t Atheistzilla attack Japan?

For Mother’s Day I thanked my wife for never speaking to a national magazine about the time I ejaculated on her dress.

Two of my very own...

There wasn't much real entertainment in the hinterland. 

Tell me again how hard you worked today…sitting behind that desk.

I have no idea if this is true, but I rather think it is...

In America it is considered rude to not tip even an awful waitress.

The older I get the more I think this is a good idea...

We have been falling for this same shit for a long, long time...

"Don’t make me us UPPERCASE!"

 That's absolutely beautiful.

My wife asked me why I was carrying my pistol after I had taken some powerful medications. I looked her right in the eye and said, “Zombies.” She laughed. I laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster. It was a good time.

 Speaking of....

I know a man who saves money by ordering soft drinks without ice. I have never been that poor….thank god.

 My reaction to such stupidity...

I fell for the bullshit also. Voted for him...once....

Is it just me or does the word “ballyhoo” remind everyone of a knock-knock joke?

LIFE MAGAZINE?! I don't believe it...

 I posted a picture of putting a log in a tire to make it easier to split. What I didn't know that it was advertising a new, scientifically designed axe that is supposed to be a real miracle...

Have I posted that before?

The only reason I love airports is that it’s the only place you can drink in the morning, alone, and no one judges you.

The day I retired I set my alarm for never.

Go fucking figure...

You want to see Americans become activists? Cancel a TV show they like.