WEDNESDAY #1992

A Serbian friend of mine left this comment concerning their flooding:
Well, I know the following is a very subjective opinion, but it's one side of the story:
The scale of errors and failures that the serbian government showed in the last few days is enormous, for example the central government refused to help the cities where the opposition is in charge, they let a whole city to fall ( Obrenovac -http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/2Q2OZRmLy1g/hqdefault.jpg ) just to spread panic and prevent the capital to be struck by floods (unsuccessfully btw) and now they are trying to censor all news about this by shutting down independent news and removing articles from the internet while pretending and lying how heroically they saved the country! In the meantime the serbian orthodox church held a ceremony where they prayed for the rain to stop and said this is happening to us because few days ago "god is angry because some woman with beard (or guy with tits, I'm not sure, I don't follow that crap) won the Eurovision competition"! The other rumour spreading on social media is that Americans brought this on us with their weather-manipulating antennas. :/ Welcome to my hood! :D 

And this finding will have no effect on the conspiracy nuts. Remember the old saying, it is easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.
I contend that EVERYONE likes to know something that most other people are unaware...call it situational awareness smugness. That, I believe, is the whole basis of all religions....the inside track to immortality that only your group has grasped accurately.

If you are a Game Of Thrones fan, you will like this. If you aren't...then fuck you.
(it was made by the bartenders of Bar None...the bar where I have a $500 credit and where they have the best smoked chicken wings in the whole world....I was there just last night)
Just click the site, it's short...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs2udGWjjrw&feature=youtu.be

Public art worth sharing...

That second one is amazing.

USC and Southern Cal.

When I was growing up the University of Southern California was called Southern Cal. It actually rolls off the lips rather easily. The University of South Carolina was called USC, for obvious reasons.

But some short years ago, Southern Cal changed to USC. It was a stupid thing to do....on purpose.

This is what these children do for a "living"...

Remember what I've always said about poor people being poor because (usually) they made some really bad decisions in their life. Well, that doesn't apply to children.

This tells me that the house was built below code...

Not that it's knocked down, but that the base of the walls are gone...meaning they were not bolted to the slab. 

Fear Of Giants: Feefiphobia.

Cow struck by lightning...

And this is what he did with the scars...

If you haven't taken at least 25,000 pictures of your cat then you shouldn't have a cat.

What fools men be....

The sentence: "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to apologize" always make me smile every time.

 Yes. Yes I would. In the shortest of heartbeats.

If you ask Siri to have sex with you enough times, she’ll eventually stop answering.

I really like clips of lucky people...

But wouldn't you think the "incident" made a hell of a noise..yet the pedestrian didn't even flinch.

Am I the only one who, for the longest time, thought it was, "Pre Madonna"?

Had a woman friend use a word tonight at Bar None that I had never heard...."Unchurched". She was, of course, referring to me.

Israeli bomb shelters painted to be less.....depressing...

A rioter.....from heaven or some such place...

All aboard the Failboat.

 Stupid motherfucker tries to rob an undercover cop...

...acting as a decoy.

I remember the exact moment when I found out that every woman had private parts.

Wife: I can't imagine what the parents of those dead children are going through today.
Me: Coffin brochures?


One Of My Very Own...

I'm not always an insensitive oaf, but when I am I post it to the internet for the whole world to see.

You can save money on your refrigeration costs by only drinking red wine.

When I was a kid I used to think that everyone with Down's Syndrome was the same person who just happened to got to a lot of the same places as me.

Kind of looks like he's talking on a cellphone don't it....

Mosquitoes have killed more humans than all of our wars combined.

Holy shit.....

In the shower, we all, from time to time, pretend that the washcloth is pizza dough...don't we?

And that, Gentle Reader, is why America's South is considered stupid.

I sometimes feel offended by American stereotypes, but then I remember that we had a nationwide hissifit when they stopped making Twinkies.

OOMVO...

I told my wife I thought she overshares on Facebook. The next day she posted what I said and added, "Clearly his anal warts are acting up again making him cranky."

Three Amusing Times To Die:
1. At someone's funeral.
2. Just after someone slaps you on the back.
3. During a game of charades.

What war forces you to do...

Back then we won a world war and put a man on the moon...

 (I'm kidding)

Tweets at sunrise....

I was telling two other people about the only waitress I've ever stiffed on a tip...at Denny's. BOTH of them said they had done the exact same thing...AT DENNY'S!

Somebody explain this to me....I dare you...

They built two identical atomic clocks so accurate that they lost about one second ever 3 billion years. Then they raised one slightly higher than the other and they became out of sync. I know why.

Why so perplexed? Shit happens...

If you eat something and nobody sees you eat it, it has no calories.

Updates pending.

How about a game show where celebs battle against charities.