THURSDAY #1993

 Did not see that coming...I thought his brother would do it one handed.

SOME HEADLINES YOU MAY NEED...

Who the fuck are we suppose to trust?

There are a whole bunch of people who think picking Brazil as host was an awful idea...

I just found out the "L" in Samuel L. Jackson stands for Laurence Fishburne.

I gave you some advice months ago that may need repeating. I just inserted a DVD in my player and immediate pressed "Stop, Stop, Play" and the movie began immediately...skipping all the bullshit. It works.

Painted two of my fingernails…index and middle finger..the exact redish-brown of a Bud Light bottle. Saw an old friend last night and he pointed at them and asked, “What’s that?”

I held them next to my beer bottle and said, “Matched it perfectly.”

He: “But why?”

I shrugged. “Never done it before….wanted to see what people would say.”

He: “Is it some kind of test?”

Me: “Noooooooo.”

Long pause.

Me: “You passed.”

We both had a good laugh.

Thinking about wearing a neck tie with a weird knot as cause for termination of employment got me thinking. It is very curious to watch people react to this one minor change in my…demeanor. Curiouser and curiouser.

Remember when the phrase "Sound as a dollar" made sense?

The saddest thing about the digital age is the next generation won't have that "nudie mag they found in the woods" experience.

Me and religion...

Had one woman (the "Unchurched" coiner) tell me she just skips over my anti-theist rantings. That is probably her best recourse.

I remember when I saw a girl’s boobs for the first time and whispered, “Well, that’s disappointing.”

She was 12…but so was I.

From one of our roadtrips I offer a mountain range outside Roswell, New Mexico....

 Now concentrate on this area...

 I enlarged it and rotated it to reveal this...

 You think that's manmade? I truly don't know.

A ton of one-dollar bills would equal about $908,000.

The idea was not to overshoot the moon, but to land right on that bitch.

Knock, knock.

What’s there?

To.

To who?

To whom. Sorry.

There are some weird shapes in nature...

None weirder than the pole of Saturn...

I read something that said it could be caused by vibrations, similar to particles reacting on a speaker.

Everybody thinks they are right.

OOMVO...

Turned that way, the Americas look like a duck...

That's true. The one minute commercials at the beginning of many YouTube videos insults me.

I didn't know that.

I wonder how long it will be before we can 3D print a 3D printer?

In Russia, do you have Tsarbucks?

Why do so many people hate Belgium.

What a great idea...

I've never heard of ANYBODY hating Belgium. I was just pulling your chain.

Photography...

A smart woman has never said, "I think I'll get my lips done."

I can remember every single time I made love outdoors...

I sent an email to my wife telling her that my walking stride had gone great that day. She emailed back, “Hip-hip-hooray!” She is a very clever woman.

RAN ACROSS SOME OLD OOMVO's THAT MADE ME SMILE....STILL...

Yoga pants are the bacon of clothing.

(by the way...this is the exact thing we accused China of doing to their routers shipped here)