WEDNESDAY #2012

The day I got my first tat...

I know rate is down, but this down?

I really don't have time to look all this stuff up to verify, so if interested, look it up yourself...

Last pictures from the beach trip...

Said to be the Earth without its oceans...

 Could that actually be true? 

I have never understood some peoples' thrill at fucking up other peoples' computers...

 Is it akin to sneaking around with a can of spray paint and vandalizing someone's building? What I'm trying to say is...what is the payoff? Self-esteem boosting? Bragging rights? Evidence that one exists?
Anybody out there got a clue why it is done so regularly?
And I don't mean the one's who steal corporate secrets, or hack a bank for profit. Their motive is evident.

I don't have a clue as to why England's team is ridiculed so much on the interweb, but people are merciless.
There was one huge photo/essay about what would happen if England actually won. Here an example:

Interesting, the concept of personal space varies so much from culture to culture...

Americans would freak if it were suggested we do this.

I didn't know this...

My bartender, addressing several people, said something about not liking juice. The girl next to me screamed, "WHAT?!"....she thought he had said Jews. She was embarrassed by her outburst, explaining it with: "I'm half Jew." I had never heard it put that way before. Then another guy said he was also Jewish and while pulling up his shirt sleeve said, "And I even have a Hebrew tattoo to prove it." I had never heard anyone say that either. "A Jew with a tattooed arm" - an irony no one recognized.
Anyway, that reminded me of the guy who got a tattoo written in the Russian alphabet. But whatever it was that he thought he had found, what it actually said was: "Translation not be found."

  What we should be doing is breaking the "Life is one long beauty contest" mentality that is taking over the world. If everyone spent more time per day improving their mind instead of improving their appearance, the world would be a much better home.
And it never ever ends...

Think for yourself. The most important advice you will ever receive.

There is a condom joke in here someplace....

“I was on the telephone with Blockbuster Video.”

Something that probably will never be said again.

Want a unique idea for dessert? Dump a bag of Oreos on the floor and eat them without hands like an animal. Most likely you will never forget the experience. I know I didn’t.

This guy makes carousel dogs...

I can only assume they are commissioned by the owner of said dog.

A high GPA looks good on paper, but networking and building friendships is what gets you a job.

 ...and they found a whole bunch of this thing...

The gauntlet is thrown...

If you have to lie, lie well, my friend, lie well.

Some walks you have to take alone.

It’s been 29 years and one day since Ferris Bueller had his day off.

One Of My Very Own...

Relationship advice: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Who in their right mind wouldn't think that's funny?

I have no idea what this means...

Smokers don’t take health advice. That may explain the mortality rate more than the cigarettes. They probably don't take health advice about diet, exercise, drinking or regular checkups, which could explain their increased mortality.

What I recalled every day I was bedridden...

Before it’s too late, let’s prevent the vegetarians from eating our forests.

Her glee frightens me.

Now, THAT'S an insult....

I’m an Extreme Sitter.

I'm from the South. I am a born and bred Southerner. And I can attest to the truthfulness of that statement. I'm probably just intellectually slightly above average, but down here surrounded by idiots, I appear a genius.

Isn’t it weird how we have one hand that knows how to do everything and the other one just sits there like your retarded cousin.

Being in the military taught me a lot of stuff, but mostly it taught me how to jump out of bed and get ready to go in 15 minutes...and back then that even meant shaving.

OOMVO.....

“ When the last person who remembers what the fuck I’m talking about is gone, my time is over. ”

- Magnificent Ruin

Galaxy S4 screen cost more to fix than my truck windshield…EXPLAIN THAT SHIT!

Oh, look, Mildred, the neighbors are over compensating again...

Dear graduates,

Your whole life is ahead of you. Not the fun part. That part is over. But the other part.

I bought sneakers from a drug dealer.

Didn’t know what he laced them with.

I’ve been tripping all day.

(language...I fucking love language)


If there wasn't huge amounts of money to made from war, there simply wouldn't be any war...

"Do you want a regular vanilla relationship, or one with an abundance of kinky fuckery?"

An erupting volcano from space...

"Nobody puts Baby in a coma!"

(In fact, the 1.7M number is a fabrication based on the total number of documents he had access to...NOT the number he downloaded.)

If you behaved like your government, you’d be arrested.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
I really like people who know what they are doing...
Had a giant white pine with limbs as big as trees. These limbs have a habit of falling onto my house from time to time and had to go, but as you can see, it was a BIG tree...

 They showed up at 8am. Took about 30 minutes for them to get set up with a crew of three...

 A bucket truck chainsaw guy...

 ...a ground rope guy...

 ...and a drag away shredder guy.

 I went out at 9:30 and HALF the tree was already gone...

 By 10:30 it was almost all gone...

 When I came back from an early lunch, it looked like this...

 Another crew will come haul away the tree-sized limbs that the shredder couldn't handle...

I'm not easily impressed. But they impressed me.
I told them that when I used to take a crew on the road and people commented on our speed; I would say, "We may laugh and joke, but we don't play."