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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Monday, September 29, 2014

A SPECIAL POST FOR A SPECIAL NEPHEW

I got this email this evening. You might want to take the time to read it...
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Longest email I have ever sent.  Be prepared.

I'm sending this to you so maybe you can use it in your blog somehow.  This Community Census questionnaire really rubbed me the wrong way, and it had "home invasion" written all over it.
I was one of the lucky 2% selected for a "Community Census".  I did some research and found that they supposedly use the data for infrastructure planning/funding.  But most of the questions just didn't have merit.
They said I wasn't selected as a person, but rather my address was selected.  I call "bullshit" since my name was on the label.  In addition, the label did not have my first name on it which makes me very suspicious about where they are getting their data.  Every legal document I submit has always had my first name rather than my middle.
After reading the questions, I chose not to fill out the form nor return it.  A man showed up at my house about a six weeks ago and told me I was legally obligated to fill out the Census and return it.  I told him that we filled out the 2010 census, with some (many) omissions, and that was all I was going to do.  I told him that just because the government put together a bunch of questions and labeled it as a census did not mean I had to comply.  I asked him how far was too far?  What if they asked me how many times per week I had sex? Have you had extra-marital affairs?  Do you masturbate, and if so how often?  I asked if he got my point.  I told him there where five people living here, all citizens of the USA, and that was all he needed to know.  He left.
He called me repeatedly and I realized he was not going to stop until I had completed the form.  So, I did; to some extent.  I kept the form sealed in the return envelope awaiting his return.  The doorbell rang about a week ago and I actually answered with the envelope in my hand.  I stepped out onto the porch, handed him the envelope, and told him that this was official US mail and as a courier I expected he not open it, but rather deliver it to the post office for me.  I also told him not to return and that a trespass warning has officially been issued.  He has neither been back nor called.
I wish I had taken photos of the form I returned to attach to this email, but I did not.  Some of the questions were rather invasive of our privacy.
Examples of the many questions I refused to answer are below.   In some cases I added additional comments, but in the most part the word "declined" was the common response throughout the survey..  I refused to give the names or answer any personal questions regarding the children.  

Because of a physical, mental, or emotional condition, does this person have serious difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions? ( I wrote, "Can you repeat that?")
Does this person have serious difficult walking down the stairs? (I wrote, "Declined. What about up?  Now that is the question to ask here.")
At this house, apartment, or mobile home - do you or any member of this household own or use any of the following computers? (The checklist includes desktop computers, "handheld computer" and "smart mobile phone" among others. (I wrote, "Please see 2010 demographics for zip code 78665")
Does this person have any of his/her own grandchildren under the age of 18 living in this house or apartment? b. Is this grandparent currently responsible for most of the basic needs of any grandchildren under the age of 18 who live in this house or apartment? (I wrote "Yet to be determined)
How many times has this person been married? (I wrote, "Public Record")
When did this person last work, even for a few days? (I wrote, "Please define 'work'")
What time do you leave for work? ( I wrote, "Varies, if in fact I work, and travel to get to an undefined work")
How many minutes did it usually take this person to get from home to work LAST WEEK? (I wrote "depends on traffic, if in fact I work, which is yet to be defined.")
What was [each person in the household’s] total income during the past 12 months? (On this one I wrote "see IRS return for 2013").
How many separate rooms are in this house, apartment, or mobile home? b. How many of these rooms are bedrooms? (I said, "please see Zillow.com)
The questions go on and on.  you get the point.

I'm fed up with the invasion of privacy.  What gives them the right?  If I could just trust the government to use the info properly it would be different, but I do not.
I gave no info whatsoever on the children.  I just wrote "Minor - info withheld" in big bold letters across each answer.
I see no difference in being hauled off to a dark, damp room for questioning, and the threat of prosecution if I don't answer a survey sent in the mail.  In either case, they are attempting to bend my arm behind my back.
I have never, nor will I ever, fill out a Census report in such a way that I can be profiled.  

Please write to me in jail,
Your Nephew
 

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