THURSDAY #2111

FIRST, NEWS...

 Well, it's kind of easy to tell which way this cable provider is leaning...

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New research shows that religious and non-religious people are equally likely to misbehave. 

(no surprise there, but at least now there is a huge study to prove it)

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An international team of researchers have created unusually intelligent mice by giving them the human version of Foxp2, a gene that's common to both humans and mice. The brainy rodents proved their extra cognitive oomph by navigating a maze significantly faster than ordinary mice.
(what could possibly go wrong....I SAW WILLARD!)

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The same people who are really pissed that a song was downloaded to their device free don't seem to give a shit that the government knows everything on those same devices.
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Adolescent delinquency is directly linked to verbal child abuse.

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Obama pledged that the war against ISIS wont be fought with U.S. ground troops. He didn't say anything about contractors, who see this as the next big meal ticket. Americas rapidly-expanding war against ISIS wont involve large numbers of U.S. troops on the ground, President Obama is promising. And its clear that airstrikes alone wont beat back the extremist group. Which means that if the President wants to have any hope of meeting his far-reaching goal of destroying ISIS, he's going to have to rely on private military contractors.

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62,000 US drivers have been pulled over and had their cash seized by small-town American cops in the past 13 years, under civil forfeiture laws that let them declare anyone to be a probable terrorist and/or drug dealer and take their money without charge or evidence; the only way to get it back is to hire a lawyer and return, over and over again, to the tiny town you were passing through when you were robbed at badgepoint.

The CBC's advice to Canadians: "Avoid long chats if you're pulled over; don't leave litter on the floor of your car, especially energy drink cans; don't use breath/air freshener, they're evidence of drug use; don't be quiet; don't be talkative; don't wear expensive clothes; don't have tinted windows; don't consent to a search."

Because: "on an American roadway with a full wallet, in the eyes of thousands of cash-hungry cops you're a rolling ATM."
(this is a fucking disgrace)
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Congress has yet to phase out pennies, despite years of plans and the near-useless coin costing more to manufacture than their own face value.

My question is why. Why the foot dragging? Who is profiting from the continuation?

Fingering a girl after you have already came.

 How very true.

 I almost got into Yale for my graduate degree. After visiting the place I was glad I didn't get in.

Noticed today for the first time that Saturday has turd in it. My weekends will never be the same.

Who the hell puts KFC chicken on a plate? 
Shit like that is why some people don't have any friends.

My, my...

I wanted white grout in my kitchen. The tile man refused, telling me I would thank him later. This is why...

Every woman has that one song that turns her into a New Orleans hooker full of six tequilas too many.

Wow!

I found this rather interesting...

Wasn't that great! I mean it. I love language.

All these balls were released at the same time...

They made various waves. I think it's because of the torque on the supporting beam or some such shit.

I've been told that if you get hate mail immediately after playing an online game, you're doing it right.

It's about time someone rethought this issue...

I’m not saying she’s fat. I’m just saying that if I picked five of the fattest people, she would be three of them.

Nuke...

 X-ray image of supernova...

Recommended daily allowance for women: 2000 calories.
Recommended daily allowance for men: 2500 calories.
That's why men need to make more money than women.

Speaking of women...

Speaking of men...

This man is fishing with rocks...

 Swinging the world's longest golf club...

What’s a good thing for a hangover?

Drinking heavily the night before.

Remember my quip about me almost getting into Yale?

Well, that is what the art students looked like....THE ART STUDENTS!!!

What a way to make a living...

Drone-selfie of climbers on the summit of the Matterhorn

I not only speak to my dog, I laugh at his jokes.

I hate everything about this...

 A 24-yea-old Chinese woman recently went to the hospital complaining of dizziness and nausea. She was most likely not prepared for the cause of the discomfort. The otherwise healthy grown woman does not have a cerebellum. Amazing—it's the only ninth case in medical history.

As I understand it, this should not be possible.

The average male thinks about sex every tits seconds.

One Of My Very Own...

I was told today that I’m not too disgusting for an old guy.

Learning from mistakes seems like a lot of effort.

“We are At War now — with somebody — and we will stay At War with that mysterious Enemy for the rest of our lives.” — Hunter S. Thompson

This is how I tell my drunk friends that they are getting out of control.

Today a young fire fighter was sitting at the bar and announced that he had just got engaged to a delightful woman. I spoke up (with everybody listening) and said that I had been married twice and the best advice I could offer him was...(dramatic pause)... "Never crawl into an orgy ass up."
A good time was had by all.

 The porter's expression says it all.
(the future king's got the same elitist expression as those pricks at Yale)

(Who in their right mind would vote against independence from those assholes?)

I forgot to mention something...

 That red dot IS NOT the true size of the Milky Way. The true size would be smaller than a pixel.

I hope they didn't spend too much money on that study. I could have told them that for free.

Just uttering the word Cowabunga makes me feel better.
My wife's go-to word is Towanda, from Fried Green Tomatoes.

This train looks like a spine...

This train looks like a snake...

This snake bites itself...

...which when you think about it, is a really, really stupid thing to do. But when I think about it another way, I know humans that if they were snakes, would do that every fucking day.
(I must admit that I watched that more times than is normal for a grown man)

The average person does not consider themselves average.

GIFs by Kevin Weir...

There are a whole bunch of those that you might want to look up....I mean, that had to take a shitload of time.

The hardest time to be a feminist is when you're saying nail polish color names out loud.

Photographer's instruction guessing game...

It takes a village to raise a child and to destroy Frankenstein's monster.

And he GETS PAID TO DO THIS!!!