MONDAY #2213

NEWSY BITS...

The latest on the face relief thing I've planned...

Instead of taking Mohammed to the mountain....
I plan to not try to mash my face against the dollars, but rather mash the dollars on one side against my face on the other...one at a time. When I feel contact, then I know I've gone far enough. (does that even make sense?)
Will update.
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What a truly wonderful gift for a young person...

Better yet if you had taken her out to collect it herself.
And that's important, ya'll. You might want to write that shit down. 
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Dozens of Hong Kong motorists and pedestrians rushed to grab loads of money after an armored truck's doors opened by accident on a busy road, spilling about 4.5 million US dollars in HK$500 notes (US$65) on Christmas Eve,

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This is what I will tell my chef friend if/when he tells me how he screwed up my special meal...

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 Hard to believe it's been ten years...

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If foreign hackers really wanted to fuck with America, they should shut down Pornhub for like 48 hours and sit back and watch what happens to productivity.

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 Fifteen deceased bodies remain unscathed after an early morning fire at the Innisvale Cemetery and Crematorium in Ontario, Canada

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Something I didn't know...

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Astronaut needed this wrench and NASA emailed their 3D printed instructions to create one...

Does anybody know where I can return 10 Lords a Leaping without a receipt?

I found that very funny.

There is a huge difference between being lonely and just being alone.

State Fairs are Great if You’re White and Kind Of Racist

Monsters are even more scary when you’ve seen them afraid.

I have had the good fortune to come upon several structures like this...

 I'm the guy who crawled down under it to see how it was constructed.

Why people don’t like renting to college kids…

Kid's first scary story...

I imagine they were both pretty scarred up after this...

Shakespeare probably spent the entire time writing “Twelfth Night” muttering “no homo” to himself

On December 17, 1903, the Wright brothers flew the first airplane ever at 6.8 mph. Only 61 years and five days later, the Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird took off. It's still the world's fastest airplane with a speed of 2,193 mph 

Want to guess what this is?

 The Back of Lady Liberty's Face.

Sign that is hard to misunderstand...

Racist white people shouldn’t adopt nonwhite kids, ‘cause therapy is expensive

One night when I couldn't sleep I lay in bed staring at my digital clock. It occured to me that the 7 little lights needed to illustrate all the numbers was too many and decided to make it work with only four.

These are the four bars, each standing for a number....

So, you light up different bars to give you each numerals 0-9....

You may have noticed that three was not just the three bar. I deduced that a number like 133111313133311 would be very confusing with just to vertical bars....I II  I I II II I I II  or there abouts.

Jaguar Land Rover says they are developing a 360 Virtual Urban Windscreen that "will allow drivers to get a complete, unhindered view of the road."

M777A2 155mm howitzer firing

 During WWII, soldiers were known to take family photos and put them under clear grips on their pistols.

No you shouldn’t go teach English in Cambodia. Seriously.

One Of My Very Own...

Ever wonder how many words rhyme with “Motherfucker?”

Something else I didn't know...

This young woman is Kelsey Chow...

Her father is my wife's dermatologist and fighter pilot. I met him once and all he wanted to talk about was picking my brain about mural painting. 
I had a dear friend who served in WWII. His name was Dom. Once my wife sat next to him at the bar and noticed he had something on his ear and demanded that he go see Dr. Chow immediately. Afterwards, both Dr. Chow and Dom thanked her since the ear thing was, in fact, skin cancer and had to be removed.
Anyway, Kelsey Chow is an actress and we all expect to hear her name much more often in the future.

I call this an "Architectural Illusion" and I was very good at it...

That is not one of mine, but I have done dozens of similar murals.
Here's some more art...

This is one of my canvas paintings...

(sorry for the quality)

I’ve started saying, “That’s problematic” a lot.

If I'm not mistaken (which I have a habit of being), this is an example of an air burst detonation. The bombed was design to explode well before hitting the earth...

 I think it does much more damage that way, plus it doesn't send near as much radioactive dust into the atmosphere.

Does anybody else remember when we all had a room in our house called the “computer room?”

What do these two have in common?

 They are both sex dolls.....literally...dolls.

Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful...at least to the one man who matters.

Seven miles from Anchorage...