THURSDAY #2216

NEWSY BITS...


This is exactly what I would have wished you all if I had been clever enough...

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Oh, the irony.
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Salt...

 I had no idea that they literally just dumped it on the floor up against a wall.
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The CDC announced yesterday that this year's flu has officially become an epidemic. One reason: the vaccine being used is not working.

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I've been watching Al Jazeera News on cable. No screaming at each other during interviews. No interrupting. No pop stars. Just good old fashion news from all over the world. They always present both sides of every issue with experts on each side. Give it a try for a week and I bet you will become a fan also.

Stuff you don't see everyday...

A fighting rooster waits in the sun for his next fight, in Havana, Cuba

It’s cute when the baby falls asleep on Christmas, but when I do it I’m “rude” and I “need to stop day drinking.”

 What better way to find out if troops could survive a nuke?

U.S. electric car maker Tesla Motors Inc will relaunch its Roadster model with a new battery pack that will increase the distance the car can travel on a single charge by nearly two-thirds to more than 400 miles.

Nothing tells you that you had too much as telling the bartender to keep the change and it wasn’t enough money.

Don’t be afraid to misbehave.

You have to admire actors who can express such emotion in this setting.

Mother Teresa at the age of 18

 I would have fucked that.

You show me something made out of one dollar bills and I will post it...

Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the fact that someone’s job is making dildos.

Damn!

How the US population fits into China

Said to be a patient dying while on an MRI...

 All neurons fire...maybe the basis of whole "life flashing before your eyes" idea?

Speaking of...

I guess I'm not the only one upset by this drivel...

Seriously, there are now so few shows that can teach me anything. I find that a national disgrace.

The light focused by the glass dome burned a line in the grass...

He either thinks the shoe is an enemy or a girlfriend...

Just another reason I avoid public transportation...

I see more people walking into Walmart than walk out of Walmart, but the meat’s cheap, so I don’t ask questions.

Hydrophobic sand.

Sometimes, I grab my dick. Because, well, I can. And I plan to do it more often.

What a wonderful idea...

When I found out my third spheroid in my nutsack was nothing to worry about, I asked the doctor for a favor, so he said in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice: ITS NAHT A TOOMAH.

Fake snow...

One Of My Very Own...

We all play the game called how far can I lean off the bed to grab the thing – don’t we?

One Christmas, my dad went out back in the ally behind the house with is shotgun and we heard a shot. He came back in and said, “Kids, you won’t be getting anything for Christmas this year. Santa just committed suicide.” The worse part was he made us help bury the body.

A book of things to do when bored...

A friend from India had this problem with English. She heard so many people say, “I hate brussel sprouts” and she thought it was a name of a person and wondered what he had done.

Spiral galaxies NGC 2207 and IC 2163, located 130 million light years away in the constellation Canis Major. 

Saturn's moon Tethys captured by the Cassini spacecraft's narrow-angle camera.

I feel extremely fortunate that I am allowed to view such images...

I think dogs follow us into the bathroom because we follow them outside when they take a shit.

Bourbon virus, named after Bourbon County, Kansas, where the only known patient lived, is similar to viruses seen previously in Eastern Europe, Africa and Asia, said Hawkinson, but nothing like it had ever been identified in the Western Hemisphere before.

Die with memories…not dreams.

You’re never too old to throw random shit into people’s shopping carts when they aren’t looking.

You always know when something bad is going to happen in a horror movie when the electric guitar kicks in.