FOLIO OLIO: SUNDAY #3474

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

NEWSY BITS

You have got to watch this. I mean it, I thought it was an Onion piece but it's legit!!

*MNBT

=N=

I've been preaching this for a long time, but the more I've thought about it, the more I've come to realize every generation felt the same way - yet we feel powerless to do anything about it.

=N=

I did win my Uruguay game with my All Americas All The Time strategy, but the whole game I was just waiting for Suarez to bite somebody. But then my might Argentina proved not so mighty after all. The first two games and two of the biggest names in the game are out. Amazing.

Mark my words...keep an eye on France. They had the sharpest passing since last WC Germany.

HIGH JINKS GALORE

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This is from a gif of a monkey jacking off that didn't load.

I wasn't going to post it, but then I found this in the comments.

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"And that's my secret, Mr. Crab, are you going to tell anyone?"

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????

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Les Miserables explained in a text message.

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Old video games: "Quick! Kill a bunch of dudes!"

New video games: "Quick! Kill a bunch of dudes!"

"WELL, SHIT" MOMENTS

A twofer!

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"Holy Dante's Inferno, Batman!"

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Don't do this.

If the airbag had gone off it would have fucked her up.

I bet the boyfriend didn't get fucked for a week.

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Again I have to ask - why was that being photographed at that exact moment?

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Oh, hell yes!

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The internet has ruined me...

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Judge: Your word is cartography.

Me: Can you use it in a sentence?

Judge: The world cartography has seven seas.

Me: C-C-C-C-C-C-C-A-R-T-O-G-R-A-P-H.

PEOPLE WITH UNIQUE SKILLS

See this guy?

My beard is longer than his.

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You never know when a new skill will come in handy.

I'm thinking when the floor is lava.

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I think we have found the man who hates his job.

But the idiot is making much more work for himself.

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I see your short logs...

And raise you long logs.

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A 12-year-old over 7 feet tall.

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Turning a gnarly burl into an egg.

Turning by turning...get it?

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20mm Anzio Rifle

When you really have to kill a guy in the next country, in a bunker, behind a refrigerator.

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At least he has a soccer ball.

This guy has a discarded bottle.

Watch this more than once.

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Dog attacks child...

Dad goes all ninja assassin on the beast.

This great dad forgives and forgets.

A rare trait nowadays.

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I once dated a girl for three years because she was the only one who knew how to operate my gas grill.

LET'S LEARN SOMETHING

I once posted a chicken sleeping on its back in the grass and contacted a friend who raises chicken and he had never seen anything like it. Now I offer this rarity...

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A final farewell to Professor Stephen Hawking as he finds his final resting place today at Westminster Abbey, between Sir Isaac Newton and Charles Darwin.