WEDNESDAY #3580

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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You might want to read that again.
Just remember the reams I've written about my loathing for royalty.

TOPICS I WOULD LIKE YOU TO THINK ABOUT

Combining video games with exercise. Brilliant.

And...

That is a still from a very interesting lightsaber game that not only requires you to smack the incoming targets, but you have to hit them with a swing indicated. She expended a lot of energy.
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This is how they found the bees.

They had to remove a large chunk of bricks.

And the effort expended to save the endangered bees is commendable.

But that's not what I want you to think about.

This man built his house out of concrete block, then covered that with bricks. Who does that?

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Oh, we've probably all seen this or something like it before, but I got to thinking that in all probability, that is that man's greatest lifetime achievement.

When you are lying on your death bed, what will be the one thing that you consider your greatest accomplishment? And for this thought exercise, we can leave out children and wives.

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A police sniper is cloaked under a towel at an Orlando hospital during a standoff.

We pay people to do things like that. And we pour them less than a postal carrier.

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Guys are really weird when it comes to who does and who does not see their dicks.

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"Fetch the ball, boy."

Talk about opening up yourself to a lawsuit.
But I'll be good goddamn if I couldn't climb a fucking chain link fence under those circumstances.

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That, of course, is mere speculation, but you have to admit there is something very wrong with these people.

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I remember when I used to think and write about this almost daily.

Then it occurred to me that those fuckers of mothers have so much information that it renders it all but useless.

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Most people write congrats because they don't know how to spell congrajulashions.

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JUST PLAIN WEIRD

375 of non-native grumpy aggressive goats addicted to human urine are airlifted out of Olympic National Park in Washington State.

Goats crave urine salts for their minerals. They have figured out that we pee all along trails and camping areas, to the point if they see a person leaving a camp alone, they'll assume you're going to pee and they will follow and get right up close and personal while you're doing your business. I once had five goats within ten feet of me while I was peeing at 2AM. Yes, it's that bad." 

I still can't believe I found those last two items on the same day.
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Who has a closet they don't look in for two years?

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There's a lesson in that for all of us with children.
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Many years ago my mother and all her sisters were sitting on my grandfather's front porch all trying to keep my young toddler brother from falling off the edge, avoiding the two-foot fall to the flower bed. Tiring of the frequent panic, the next time the baby got near the edge my grandfather just reached out his foot and shoved the kid off the porch. Then he said, "Now he won't do that again." And, of course, he didn't.

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I'm sorry but it bothers me that the inside of the nails isn't painted.
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I didn't know that.
[verification needed]

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You are not afraid of being alone in a dark room, you are afraid of NOT being alone in a dark room.

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HUMOR LOADED WITH *MNBTs

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The bathroom door says men from the outside but from the inside says women spelled backward so you think you were in the wrong bathroom.

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Do you want to get beaten to death? Because this is how you get beaten to death.

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Alert Gentle Reader Kevin sent me this under the heading All Things Ralph.

Oh, look, here's another...

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Thousands of road workers now jobless.

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One trick for remembering someone's name when you first meet them is to immediately repeat back the wrong name so they will get used to you not being a name remembering person; just get that expectation off the table from the start.

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OKAY, I'M IMPRESSED

My friend and bar manager, Dylan, got me into collecting star dollars. That little star in the serial number means it was a replacement bill in the mint.

Well, then he started collecting Silver Certificates and lo and behold look what he found. 
The Holy Grail.

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Speaking of bars...

The kid looks like he is still traumatized by the event.

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Ants forming a hanging chain to raid a wasp nest.

We had a long discussion of this at the bar. I observed that it would be so much easier just to walk over the edge of the roof and straight to the wasp hive. Then we concluded that that chain could not have been intentionally created. We concluded that the ants were, in fact, walking on that ceiling but then when so many ants laden with larvae got in the line, the line let go and began to sag until it sagged to this point.

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I saw another clip that showed it moving much slower than this.

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But it's only a matter of time until...

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Noodles at -76°F in Antarctica

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“Just get me a cute 14-year old boy.”

- Spacey, probably.

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Think of the guy who saw that in his mind and directed its execution.

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I don't pretend to be something I'm not. Except sober. I've pretended to be sober a few times.

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ART AND art

The 3rd Dimension, Mr. June

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Get it?

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You can use steel wool to filter liquids.

And put in a shower or bath drain it stops the hair.

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Is there anybody in the universe that didn't see that coming?
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And it's not the soldiers who are getting rich.
If rich people didn't get richer there would be no wars. You read it first here, folks.
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So sorry, but I swear I thought that was a spoof and read "Midgets and wasps." I only picked it up in my final edit.
Now imagine his magnificent voice actually whispering my version dramatically.
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STEER CLEAR