FOLIO OLIO: FRIDAY #3774

One Of My Very Own

I'm sorry. They can't all be gems.

EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

Today I saw a woman power walking while reading a book. I wanted to take a photo but feared that would be creepy. She held her paperback open with one hand and by the way she steadied it in stride was impressive.
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My cable company tried to sell my wife a one year warranty on their services for $99. Think about that. I buy a service from them and they want me to take out a policy to protect me from THEIR outages.
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This was a headline on the front page of our local newspaper:
"Toxic microbe on SC coast poses higher risk to older, heavier men."
I think it was just a ruse by our tourism department to rid the beach of ugly people.
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And this from a TV supplemental insurance advertisement:
"...has been an AARP contributor for years so you know you can trust them."

AARP is a private for-profit corporation. How can one company "contribute" to another company? Isn't that just a bribe?

Oops.
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FALLING DOWN AND/OR BURNING UP

When playing around with the wording of this section I remembered that burning up and burning down mean the same thing...at least in the South.

Who says romance is dead?
^^1^^

^^2^^

He must love that rod...

His wife throws him a flotation device even though he's standing on the bottom.
^^3^^

I should be illegal to have any open flames in any place that serves alcohol.
^^4^^

Well, technically, that girl was actually denied her chance to fall down.
^^5^^

Speaking of fish...

^^6^^

My wife attempted gymnastics...once.

Can we assume the culprit was demon rum?
^^7^^

Ha! Both burning up and falling down!
I have never understood why this child was being filmed doing that unless it was staged.
^^8^^

Knowing you have the next day off is more relieving than the actual day off.

Get it? Think of what they do to glasses at a Jewish wedding.
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SERIOUSLY

I would try very hard not to ridicule them, but rather try to understand what convinced them to take such a position.
^^9^^

I present to you a ridiculously fluffy chinchilla...

And before you condemn the fur industry, just remember that all those animals would never have existed without it.

Why don't they breed them with other rodents to make them larger but still have the same fur?

^^10^^

There was a dystopian proposal: all males are vasectomized at birth and only allowed to breed when the can afford a reversal.
^^11^^

A bill supported by Democrats and Republicans would make permanent a program that bars the IRS from ever developing its own free online tax filing service.
https://www.propublica.org/article/congress-is-about-to-ban-the-government-from-offering-free-online-tax-filing-thank-turbotax
But wait, what is this?

freetaxusa.com
^^12^^

I think it's interesting that it specifies female partners, but I'm also curious to see how this relates to pregnancy in the same age range.
^^13^^

Oh, look, here is the cause of all that chastity...

That is exactly how I feel about supposedly "adult" gamers.
^^14^^

I am convinced that most Americans will believe anything if it A. Confirms something bad about the opposing party, or B. Confirms something good about your chosen party. I always like to ask true believes of both parties if their party has ever been wrong, and some people have the balls to say that it never has. That, Gentle Reader, is delusional.
BTW, Obama never took Jesus out. Don't you remember when the Republicans were raking him over the coals for the shit his Baptist preacher said? And if you think Donal Trump is a god fearing man, then you need professional help immediately.
^^15^^

I found that profound. Come to find out, counselors preach the same thing and in all seriousness that could be the most important thing you read all week.
^^16^^

My wife once called our dog a fucking liar because he barked like someone was at the door and there was no one there.

UNUSUAL PEOPLE

This is what power looks like.

And if they make a movie about the guy, I know just who ought to play him.

^^17^^

Asians

Just stating a fact, Sparky.
^^18^^

As I understand it, the actor ad-libbed that as a spoof on the actress.
^^19^^

I bet that looks good on his resume - professional dancing haystack.
^^20^^

Boy, that could have gone in the "Falling down" or "Seriously" sections, but I just wanted to tell fat girls to please stop wearing flesh-colored tights.
^^21^^

Superman's disguise wouldn't have fooled anybody. Jeez. Come on sheeple.

THE ART AND THE ARTY

THE PROBLEM WITH SYMBOLS

Similarly, I painted a mural in a huge swimming complex and I used multiples of the Olympic swimming symbol only to have a woman ask (seriously) "Why are those horses pushing those balls in the water."

And the other day I was watching my Barcelona kick Man United's butt and I noticed what Man U's new uniforms look like.

^^22^^

Tanabe Chikuunsai IV Recycled Bamboo Installations

^^23^^

A series of photos involving visually splitting the image done with one single image.

This one was manipulated with day and night, of course.

And this one just because I like it.

^^24^^

Folk art at its best...beautiful and functional.

Made with sprockets and chain.
^^25^^

Back when people took their architectural details very, very seriously.
That leaves me in awe.
^^26^^

My wife said that she made me an appointment to get recircumsized. Does anybody know if that's really necessary?

PICTURES WITH WORDS

When the moon is in the Seventh House And Jupiter aligns with Mars Then peace will guide the planets And love will steer the stars.
Yeah, I almost missed it also.
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[verification needed]
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*MNBT
^^31^^

Hahahahanhanaha!
^^32^^

Damn glockaroaches, the MIB have been notified.
But don't his porch furniture look nice.
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^^34^^

I said, "It's not about how many times you fall, it's about how many times you get back up," but apparently that's not how field sobriety tests work.