SUNDAY #3783

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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Sent by a loyal viewer. Seems a bit off to me, but I can't do any better.

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Now for some news with teeth in it.
I put together a $5 a horse Kentucky Derby pool - draw at random - pure dumb luck - $100 payoff. And I got this horse.

Not a bad horse, but not a great horse either.
But it won. I pocketed the money and took begrudging congratulations from the host of gamblers.
But then...what's this...AN OBJECTION!

After reviewing the tapes I totally agree that my horse cheated and could have gotten somebody killed by cutting across the lanes of the horses coming up on his right.
Bummer that.

In brighter news, I talked a Liverpool fan into giving me Newcastle +1 goal and the tie. Eeked it out with this final.

But in other Kentucky Derby gambling news, guys at the bar were wondering how much those clear plastic ponchos cost at Churchill Downs. At my suggestion, we settled on an over/under of $30 and I took under against all comers. I texted my friend AT THE RACE and he texted back that they are only $5.
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PEOPLES' RELATIONSHIP WITH ANIMALS

This gentleman won’t take his boat out because the duck has nested on his boat and is waiting for the eggs to hatch.

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And in another animal-loving story...

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But that animal-loving can be taken too far...

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That not far enough? How about this? A woman had her dog's feet shaved to curtail tracking in dirt.

This was left in comments and I couldn't resist.

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Dogs are my favorite animal.
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They do have some habits that can prove problematic.

Like walking around in circles before laying down, I think this is still the parasite ridding method of choice even though they probably don't have parasites.
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Those are Navy Seals and they will eat a live goose if told to.

The Air Force feels it necessary to post these sign to warn Airmen.

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Religion fuels some odd beliefs concerning animals; take cows in India...

Technically that is true. But we exhale far less than we inhale so it's not an oxygen producer.

He said that with a straight face. 
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 I missed two of my wife's calls, so I assume the helicopter that just flew over my bar is part of the search crew she summoned.

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PEOPLES' RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER PEOPLE

Indian nationalism leads to more crazy beliefs other than animals. It’s scary but hilarious. I call it DISINFORMATION GONE WILD.

 

 https://youtu.be/hjWd9a8Ck8U

But just in case you think America is immune to such nonsense...

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Be like that guy.
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What Happens Next With The Man With The Fur Color?

 A. He drops his gun and walks off and leaves it.
B. He drops his gun but nobody notices.
C. He drops his gun and one of those policemen notices it.
D. He drops his gun and EVERYBODY notices it including you and me.
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D. He drops his gun and EVERYBODY notices it including you and me.
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Fuck disappointing parents! I have known a plethora of parents who deserved disappointment.

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How about these parents? Should they be disappointed?

Is the government going to wait until Polio does what Measles have done before they act?!  This is insanity...seriously.
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Every married man knows this look.

That's when we know we are fucked and we might as well start groveling. She is about to deliver the killer blow to your argument - the feminine coup de gras.
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Autocorrect got me in trouble again when I invited the neighbors over for a friendly game of Go Fist.

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EXTRAORDINARY PEOPLE DOING NORMAL THINGS OR VICE VERSA

A 24-year-old Anthony Bourdain. Circa 1980.

He looks high as fuck, which in all likelihood he was. 
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A real-life Flying Nun...
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We should never forget that this photo exists...

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And this year’s “The Floor is Lava Award” goes to...

Why is everyone so casual about it?
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The only appropriate time to ask a woman if she's pregnant is when you see her peeing on a stick.

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OBJECTS OF INTEREST

Many websites feel the need to "improve" their look from time to time, including the NFL, which is so fucked up you can barely use it. Most use (what I call) too much air - meaning there are huge areas of white background instead of enlarging the graphics and/or font.
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Mine clearance team.

Princess Diana's favorite charity, easy to see why.
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https://thenextweb.com/robots/2019/04/19/cornell-scientists-create-living-machines-that-eat-grow-and-evolve/ 
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These people take their threat of hail seriously...

Did you notice that the whole thing is done with a yellow, red, blue pattern? Rather anal I'd say. 
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Problem-solving on this scale makes my dick get hard. 
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I was watching an awful sci-fi movie where three aliens were described as two male, one female by observation alone. 
Can you spot the gal?

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Let’s put the delete button next to the most important, most used button on this app, lol

~App developers probably

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REALLY IMPRESSIVE 3D TATTOOS

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Bank robber: This is a robbery! Nobody do anything stupid!

My wife slowly turns to face me and mouths: 'You are gonna die.'

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That's Charon ferrying the dead across the River Styx.
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LAST LAUGHS

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RH: He was later informed that it was "bare skin" condoms. I almost put that in the animal section.
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Time to get banned in Russia again.
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Business Opportunity:

 Have a place where customers can strap on horns and mess shit up...for stress release. Charge by the hour.

And if you think that business idea is farfetched, this is for sale...

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Did you espy the oddness? 
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Have you ever been this bored at work?

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I'm thinking that periodically that in Mexican towns, children are warned that if they misbehave they, too, will have to attempt to ride Uncle Jose. Predictably, the bambinos are very well behaved.

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 You need to wear seatbelts in the backseat also.

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