FOLIO OLIO: SUNDAY #3839

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL:

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

MISTAKES WERE MADE

"Hit a child in a crosswalk and dragged him into an intersection. This lead-headed shit-for-brains tried to drive off while the kid was still underneath and only stopped long enough so he can crawl out. Law enforcement prefers tips should be called in to lead to an arrest. I mean, personally, I'd feel compelled to do otherwise, but, you know, right to trial or something of that nature."

http://lincolncrimestoppers.com/scary-moment/?fbclid=IwAR2JKxP4bLfto9W2BiO42Sdbjj_O0oGrhhFW_40-qv9szYzqRVVmpHZHiWw

^^A1^^

Wait for it...there are two parts...

^^A2^^

The problems of marrying a girl from Alabama...

She must be from around Birmingham, they all have similar scowls. I think it's the inbreeding.
^^A3^^

^^A4^^

Watch carefully...

How the hell does a thing like that learn to do a thing like that?
^^A5^^

"Couch here I come."
^^A6^^

I read that the problem isn't too many people. The problem is too few trains. Also, in my opinion, the station is mal-designed. There should be an area to get off and another for getting on.

And those people have money for a ticket. There just isn't enough room on the train for all the customers.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is infrastructure problems on a mega-scale. Yet they have money to build nuclear weapons. Go figure.
^^A7^^

What Happens Next To This Woman Skateboarding In Heels?

A. She busts her ass for no apparent reason.
B. A car hits her.
C. She has a mishap with a storm drain.
D. She remains unscathed.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.

D.
Yeah, I was surprised, too.
^^A8^^

My dad did this with an almost full milkshake left in the parking lot...

And it squirted all over two cops standing on the sidewalk.
^^A9^^

^^A10^^

My wife called me pretty today. The full statement was "You are pretty dumb" but of late she's trying to have a more positive attitude.

BEING GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO

^^B1^^

I know this is a repost, but I still haven't figured out if it is photoshopped or not. Either way, the person knows what he is doing.

^^B2^^

I came across some pretty good crossword puzzle clues in a New York Times.
Crack = Stab as in the attempt - take a crack at, take a stab at.
Good thing coming to those who wait = Tip as in the word wait not meaning bide one's time but serve food in a restaurant.
Pin number = Ten as in bowling.

Stick on a tree = Candy Cane, again stick being used as a noun instead of a verb.
^^B3^^

The world needs all the problem-solvers as it can get.
^^B4^^

^^B5^^

As an old potter my, I can appreciate the shit out of this.

^^B6^^

Astana, Kazakstan Presidential Park

Did you notice that the lake was shaped like an eagle?
^^B7^^

That takes my breath away.
^^B8^^

How long can he stay out of the water?
^^B9^^

I like to use my turn signals when driving. It helps to let other drivers know which way I want to go before I start turning or changing lanes.

Another nice segue...
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DISCUSSION POINTS

In my humble opinion, humor should be exempt.

Things like this are only funny BECAUSE they are offensive.

And if that offends you...

^^C1^^

This from a woman:

My wife and I have had numerous conversations regarding which is the superior genitalia? I remind her that men don't regularly have to go to Dick Doctors just to keep us healthy. But yeast infections and UTIs ended the conversation, plus getting items shoved up there so far you can't get them out.
Not that there aren't problems with how a man is built...

^^C2^^

If you believe something that hardly no one else believes, there is a very good chance you are wrong, especially if it means large numbers of people have to keep their mouths shut.
^^C3^^

I had a friend in politics. Went to federal prison for breaking a campaign contribution law but that's not the point.

He told me that all politicians must say they are religious to get the Christian vote but in the back room, they lie, cheat, steal, whore around worse than anyone.

So cut me some slack when I'm open and honest about my loathing of the whole mythical exercise.

Because I find anyone who believes in talking snakes to be fucking hilarious.
^^C4^^

Boy did this bring back a memory.

My friend, Jack, tried to send one of his 5th grade girls to the office for disrupting the class. This large ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD ghetto child said, "If you send me to the office I will tell them that you touched my butt."
The matter was dropped and the child could do whatever she wanted to do for the rest of the year.
^^C5^^

Oh my.
^^C6^^

Am I the only one who gets awed by the power of weather?

^^C7^^

If you can hit the bullseye the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

INDIVIDUALS MORE FAMOUS THAN YOU

Well, Senator, not everyone...

^^D1^^

Shaq picking up the bill...

^^D2^^

^^D3^^

1981 – At the Trooping the Color ceremony in London, a teenager, Marcus Sarjeant, fired six blank shots (he tried unsuccessfully to find ammunition for his father's .455 Webley revolver) at Queen Elizabeth II. The horse was momentarily startled but the Queen brought her under control; she was unharmed. Three days after the ceremony, Buckingham Palace received a letter from Sarjeant which read "Your Majesty. Don't go to the Trooping the Color ceremony because there is an assassin set up to kill you, waiting just outside the palace."
^^D4^^