THURSDAY #3843

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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Don't be stupid.
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DOs AND DON'Ts

Don't do shit like this with a child.

One slip up and so many lives will change for the worse.
^^A1^^

Be like this guy.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/defendant-defender-one-wrongfully-convicted-man-frees-another-n788886
^^A2^^

As I understand it, one of this guy's children came out to him and he hugged them. He was told that was the single best thing he could have done.

So he offers his hugs to anyone who wants one at gay pride events.
^^A3^^

1 horse dead, two injured.

It should go without saying that the worse place for a lack of situational awareness is when driving. Wake the fuck up, people.
^^A4^^

She is so cute when she wipes her mouth with that one delicate finger.

I can stress enough the importance of thinking outside the box. The opposite of thinking outside the box is "That's the way we've always done it."
^^A5^^

De Beer mine workers are X-rayed at the end of every shift before leaving the diamond mines. Kimberly, South Africa. 1954.

Could all you princesses out there get over this requirement that a man gives you a very expensive stone before you will agree to matrimony? It's just all so silly. And you know what the young women I talk to say...That's the way we've always done it in my family.
^^A6^^


http://thesciencepost.com/rabies-harmless-puppyhood-disease-say-anti-vaccine-dogs/

RH: You might want to read the comments left in the article. Here's one: "Next they will tell us parvo is bad for you too. I say, what does not kibble you will make you barker."
^^A7^^

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An American documentary about the Second World War had this line: "Franklin Roosevelt, the president of the United States..." I cringed that they thought that necessary.

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CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL

Aren't they cute?

 ^^B1^^

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2019/06/domestication-gave-dogs-two-new-eye-muscles/591868/
^^B2^^

 Well played humans.

^^B3^^

This bird must have the utmost trust in this human.

Do birds in the wild lay unfertilized eggs like chickens?
^^B4^^


Fuck you, human.
^^B5^^


Does this young woman not have the internet? She is the only person left on the planet who hasn't seen a dozen turtles bite a dozen people. Jeeez.
^^B6^^
Those last two are perfect segues to the next section.

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I surprised my wife at work by sneaking up behind her and kissing her on the back of the neck. She laughed and said, "Mike, I told you not at work." My name is Ralph.

*MNBT

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SCHADENFREUDE

What Happens Next To These Boys On The Bike?

A. They drive into the ditch.

B. An ostrich knocks them off their bike.

C. A snake gets caugh in the spokes and hilarity ensues.

D. A car knocks them atop the vehicle.

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Here's a hint...

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C.
^^C1^^

 
^^C2^^

The GIF that keeps on giving...

 This is well worth viewing and do not to give up on it until the very end.
https://i.imgur.com/dw4qBEu.mp4

^^C3^^

Nice recovery!
^^C4^^

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I'll straight up eat a club sandwich at the cottage and cottage cheese at the club and I don't really give a shit who knows it.

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PROVOCATIVE IMAGES

Sir Patrick Stewart said he smokes weed daily for his arthritis.

^^D1^^


That had to be scripted. Think about describing that in words and then deciding that it would be very funny.
^^D2^^

 Photograph of a man standing inside the Seattle Cedar Lumber Manufacturing Company, 1939
^^D3^^

Want to guess what this is before you scroll?

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It's the mount of a broken auto antenna.
^^D4^^

Da Nang, Vietnam. A young Marine private waits on the beach during a Marine landing, August 3, 1965.

 A mere baby.

^^D5^^

 Commander David Scott proves Galileo Galilei's hypothesis that all objects are affected equally by gravity when there is no air resistance.

 ^^D6^^

How clever. 
^^D7^^

We all know what this looks like, but is it real?

And if it is real then how come I've never seen one like that in my whole life?
^^D8^^

The edge of the hailstorm...

 Here's the film if you are interested:
https://i.imgur.com/vUmoDuk.mp4
^^D9^^

Jodie Foster and Robert de Niro at Cannes for a showing of 
Taxi Driver.
^^D10^^

A belt buckle horn for slow walkers.

How to make friends and influence people.
^^D11^^

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Imagine if women used the same style of toxic masculinity humor to degrade men:

- Cool story bro now go chop some lumber.

- What are you doing out of the garage...fix the car.

- The grill isn't going to light itself.

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FUN WITH LANGUAGE

 ^^E1^^

^^E2^^

RH: My dumb ass actually fell for that. 
^^E3^^

 ^^E4^^

Oh my. 
^^E5^^

 ^^E6^^

 ^^E7^^

 ^^E8^^

 ^^E9^^

Why you ask? It's the way we should all raise our children - test them and if they fail we severely torture them for a long, long time. 
^^E10^^

 ^^E11^^

 ????
^^E12^^

 ^^E13^^

 *MNBT
^^E14^^

Well, don't we all want to know? 
^^15^^

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I blame the guy who first decided that was a good way to store those pipe. What a fucking idiot. Infinitely predictable.

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He deserves every fucking stitch. 

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