THURSDAY #3864

One Of My Very Own

 <>

EMAIL: 
ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

<>

I can't wait for this sure to be total cluster fuck.

And...

Wanna bet?
<>

<>

 <>

 <>

A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE

They just hadn't done the math yet.
^^A1^^


I used to detest soccer, but then I had the opportunity to watch a World Cup and have been hooked ever since. So much for teaching an old dog new tricks.
^^A2^^

I grew up in a house with 2 1/2 acres of lawn around it. For the rest of my life, I've hated everything there was to hate about cutting grass.
^^A3^^


I don't do this at my home due to utility bill concerns but in a motel room, I crank that thing down as low as it will go.
^^A4^^

This brings back so many wonderful memories...

But of all the things to cook in such a place, hamburgers would be my last choice.
^^A5^^

The first car she drove? A 1943 M15A1.

It is not what you expect.
https://i.imgur.com/YC3AVOt.mp4 

The first car I ever drove looked just like this - a 1946 Ford.

It wasn't mine. It belonged to my best friend which meant it was sort of mine also.
^^A6^^

When I was a kid we used to love to watch this plant react.

^^A7^^

I once painted a really nice (and expensive) mural on a wall that did this after a few years:

 https://i.imgur.com/0P1xwkF.mp4
They asked me to fix it. I countered with how about they strip their old stucco, re-stucco it correctly, then hire me to repaint the mural. They had a fundraiser and I was back in business.

Interestingly, the whole time I was painting the mural there was a major murder trial in the courthouse across the street. This was for this very bad man who ended up electrocuted.

"Taunted her family" refers to him calling to describe how their daughter wept and begged for her life while he was raping her. 
^^A8^^

<>

 *eats a crab apple*

*watches all crabs with medical degrees scatter*

<>

<>

CLOSE CALLS

One lucky sumbitch. 
^^B1^^

At first, I thought the cyclist had gone around the barricade, but the multiple cars tell me there was no barricade. 
^^B2^^

He smiled. I would not have. 
^^B3^^

That's why you wear a hard hat with your name on it - so they can identify what's left of your body.
^^B4^^

Could have been worse - much, much worse.
^^B5^^

How to dad.

 Well, I bet the kid thought it was a close call.
^^B6^^

When it came to beer I always had amazing reflexes. I once reached for my glass on the bar, tipped it over, reflexively grabbed it, but ended up just throwing a full beer all over the bartender.
^^B7^^

What Happens Next?

 The couple, of course, ends up in the water. How close to the far bank will it happen?
A. 4 Meters 
B. 4 Yards
C. 4 Feet
D. 4 Inches

https://i.imgur.com/u3gXR5o.mp4
D,
^^B8^^

How far across the creek will this guy pole vault?

 A. 25%
B. 0%
C. 50%
D. 100%
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

C.
^^B9^^

The police are after this lad in black and his escape required cooperation.

 https://i.imgur.com/MJzPA39.mp4
If my memory serves me, this is a very old clip but it was always too large to upload to my blog. Now I have decided to give you the quick peek link that seems to work in such circumstances. If I inadvertently repost something, I regret it.

^^B10^^

<>

 I like pretending all the cars I’m passing on the road are in a race with me but the cars that pass me are not in the race - they’re just driving somewhere.

<>

<>

VISUAL GAGS

^^C1^^

Russian, North American astronauts return to earth with an odd rash.

You should look very closely; I almost missed it. 
^^C2^^

For fun, this guy makes unnecessary Inventions: Enjoy the earth beneath your feet with his Incognito Kicks. No sole, no problem.

 https://www.unnecessaryinventions.com/
^^C3^^

 
"Too much messin' around."

^^C4^^


Action/Reaction lesson learned.
^^C5^^

The cameraman is standing in the only place with a clear view right down her blouse.
Bravo, clever man.

 In case you would like to see the whole clip:
https://i.imgur.com/aF0D45l.mp4
^^C6^^

An epic Easter party...

https://i.imgur.com/P3F4j81.mp4
^^C7^^

Respect my authoritie.

^^C8^^

 ^^C9^^

^^C10^^


^^C11^^

<>

Flooding- Blame it on the rain

Gluten allergy- Blame it on the grain

Ripped pants- Blame it on the gain

Forgot- Blame it on the brain

Selfies- Blame it on the vain

Lost karate tournament- Blame it on the crane

<>

<>

THINGS I DIDN'T KNOW YESTERDAY

I would have liked to have met that guy. 
^^D1^^

 They say it's called a Planetary Gear.

 I don't understand it at all, but it looks like it took a really smart person to design it. Let's see what the internet has to say about it:
This type of gearing is sometimes used in tractors and construction equipment to provide high torque to the drive wheels.

^^D2^^

Airline employees in Japan apologize to passengers for the delay in departure.

 Here's how such customers are treated in America.
Here's the way American airlines does it.

 ^^D3^^
 
I actually knew that but weren't sure you did. 
^^D4^^

He not only talked the talk, but he also walked the walk. 
^^D5^^

 These are Extreme Heat Resistance Gloves.

Here's what they look like in action.
 
Just kidding. Here's the real clip:
https://i.imgur.com/VFYKs7f.mp4
^^D6^^

The amazing automated rice planter.

 https://i.imgur.com/DJdY1wB.mp4
Fun fact: Rice doesn't need to be flooded to grow, but the rice paddies are flooded just to keep weeds from growing in them.
Why don't they do that with other crops? Probably rice has a tolerance for such things.
^^D7^^

With as much room as we have in America, I have often wondered why we didn't bring endangered Rhinos and other such animals to a reserve in the US in a climate suitable for the creatures' needs.

^^D8^^

Have you ever wondered why the Chinese are so good a table tennis?

 They start young. An amazing athlete already.
https://i.imgur.com/qGgaZDD.mp4
^^D9^^

These people are paving a road and preparing lunch at the same time.

I had no idea that was possible.
https://i.imgur.com/grnaQER.mp4
 ^^D10^^

 

<>

 [End of day 1, building Rome]

Builder: We've finished, boss.

Boss: For God's sake, keep your voice down, we can drag this job out for weeks.

<>

<>

SOVIET LATVIAN NIHILIST HUMOR

 ^^E1-7^^

<>

Roman soldier: "Jesus has been crucified as instructed"

Emperor: "he is dead?"

Roman soldier: "yes my liege"

[3 days later]

Emperor: "Dave, can I have a word?"

<>

<>

 

ON STUPIDITY

If anything, the mixing of the races will strengthen the species. 
^^F1^^

Baby Sea Turtles hatching...

 I'm not sure that's a good idea. Even standing near the dune grass is illegal where I'm from.
^^F2^^

 

 Did you notice the guy in the background painting dicks on the sidewalk? I bet his mother is proud.
^^F3^^

Driver tries to flee from the wrong cop.

That is a grown fucking man!
Now the guy in the truck has just gone from a misdemeanor to numerous felonies.
^^F4^^

 <>

 <>

 <>

 <>

 <>

 <>

 <>

 <>

 <>

 <>

 <>