THURSDAY #3878

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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NOT YOUR EVERYDAY ANIMAL BEHAVIORS

MAN'S BEST FRIEND

Momma was exhausted from taking care of the pups so dad went to get her a snack.

Dr. Seuss feet...

 ^^A1^^

 ANIMALS IN THE WILD

[verification needed]
^^A2^^

^^A3^^

Baby flamingo practicing single-leg standing.

 ^^A4^^

 THE MISCHEVIOUS DOLPHIN


"I know you're hiding fishies somewhere, and I'm going to find it."
- dolphin probably

 Oh, it's not fish he's after. This is his erection...

 And there have been cases of consensual human/dolphin sex.

 And worse...

 There seems to be no end to their perverted yearnings...

 ^^A5^^


And now what you've all been waiting for...

 Watch carefully...

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/charging-bison-girl-yellowstone_n_5d38b300e4b020cd994de1e5
The perfect segue for the next section...
^^A6^^

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Taxi driver: Where to?

Me: In between one and three.

Taxi driver: Get out.

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HUMAN FOLLY

ILLADVISED RISKS

That moment when you positively know it's time to GTFO.

I'm going to chalk that one up to scientific research but most follies are not as noble.

[verification needed]
^^B1^^

But then there is what I call Macho Bullshit.

^^B2^^

Or just fucking around. When engineers get bored on a ship...

 Know what it reminds me of?

 ^^B3^^

Some folly is thrust upon others.

^^B4^^


Try that on America and you'll get riddled with freedom.
^^B5^^

^^B6^^

Some folly is caused by being inept or just unlucky.

^^B7^^

This man is spray-painting his car in a Family Dollar parking lot.

Notice that he didn't bother to use any tape.
^^B8^^

The maximum level of Texas that has ever been reached...

^^B9^^

^^B10^^

Her wrist technically says "queer" since it's in cursive.
^^B11^^

 
^^B12^^

^^B13^^


When I was on the Left Bank in Paris we hired two artists to sketch a portrait of my wife and me. Hers was stunning. Mine looked like the one above.
^^B14^^

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When I find myself with a simple problem, I stop, take a deep breath, and ask myself, “How can I complicate this?”

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POSITIVE HUMAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Fucking human Wile E. Coyote! 
^^C1^^

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Jose Guillen redeems a botched catch with one of the greatest throws in baseball history.

^^C5^^

This locomotive is hauling 1/4 mile long continuously welded rail, taking a curve...it just bends.

^^C6^^

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My wife does this cute thing now & then where she goes out shopping for next years yard sale items.

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LIFE'S LITTLE LESSONS, ADVICE, AND/OR OPINIONS

 ^^D1^^

 ^^D2^^

Be more like Mr. Rogers. 
^^D3^^

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^^D5^^

LOVE

 She's an ex for a good reason. I mean who has a dead possum on hot standby?


^^D6^^

 ^^D7^^

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 ^^D9^^

ON AMERICA

 ^^D10^^

 ^^D11^^
 

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Elderly Woman: Excuse me, young man...could you help m-

Me: I have a grandma.

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ATTEMPTS AT HUMOR

 

Sitting bound and gagged in my basement. Absolutely no one is doing that at this point in time. No, sir.

^^E1^^

 

There is an ongoing debate on the internet concerning whether ketchup belongs on a hot dog.

^^E2^^

Just remember that you are not only bigger than they are but smarter than they are. 
^^E3^^

 ^^E4^^

^^E5^^

 

 ^^E6^^

^^E7^^

^^E8^^

She got Forrest dumped.
^^E9^^

^^E10^^

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 The creator of the whole universe took the time to write that in his holy book. Think about that. Sounds a lot like the words of an ordinary man to me, but I've been wrong before.

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