MONDAY #3924

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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EXTRAORDINARY THOUGHT ARRANGEMENTS

*MNBT
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Yes, I know that is a repost, but I think you will agree that being given virgins in the afterlife is just silly. But there are many of you who believe you will live in a mansion on a street of gold with Jesus as a neighbor. Think about that.
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Think of this as you wish.

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Fuck The Russian Bear

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When I get bored I like to ask, "Tell me a story I haven't heard."
Everybody has a story. They usually ask what kind of story and I tell them anything they want as long as it's true. 
You ought to try it sometime.
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No matter how careful you are, there’s going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn’t experience it all. There’s that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should’ve been paying attention.
Well, get used to that feeling. That’s how your whole life will feel some day.
This is all practice.

None of this matters.
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There are two kinds of people.

Try not to be either one of them.

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CLASSICAL ART MANIPULATION

 ^^B 1-7^^

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Wife: *signing divorce papers*

I’m sorry I ever married you. 

Me: Apology accepted.

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OBJECTS OF INTEREST

Smart blackboard.

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This car cost $1M.

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The difference between how I tell a story and the way my wife tells a story.

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I have been told that the flag is faded white. Anybody know about that? 
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Why are we so obsessed with nudity? I blame religion, of course, but we have societies who walk around more or less naked and they don't rape and harass each other nearly as much as more restrictive societies do.
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At a dinner party, instead of putting names on place cards, just list everyone's shortcomings and let them figure out where they're supposed to sit.

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CRIMES AGAINST SHOEMANITY

I feel compelled to tell you that those are male nipples...

 So I don't get ratted out to Google.
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I met someone today who had the same song stuck in their head like me. It's a small world after all.

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T-SHIRTS WITH SLIGHT ERRORS

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Beware of huge angry bulls. 

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https://i.imgur.com/PSdd87L.mp4 

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