About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Thursday, October 3, 2019

THURSDAY #3934

One Of My Very Own
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EMAIL: 
ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
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I think that man is hilarious. 
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WANT TO PLAY A GAME?

A vehicle will soon jump off that ramp, fly fifty feet to the ferry, and once there fuck itself up. What color will this vehicle be?
 A. Red
B. White
C. Blue
D. Black
E. Red, White, and Blue
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B. White
^^A1^^


The only solution is for us to redefine "Jew Down" to mean an amazing party similar to a Country Hoedown.
Your task, if you choose to accept it, is to imagine what this Jew Down would look like.
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 ^^A2^^


 Guess what these next three people are illustrating perfectly before scrolling down to the answer.

Person #1
 When Karen finds out the employee at which she has been ranting and raving is the manager.


 "Person" #2
 When my wife finds out I put another of her good sweater in the dryer.
NOTE: Did you notice it vibrating?

Person #3
This is me when I watch cable news.
^^A3^^

Name each movie as quickly as possible.
GO!

And lastly...
 ^^A4^^

Take a look at this and tell me what it is before scrolling down for the answer.
 Open the link and look very carefully.
https://i.imgur.com/lDGyy04.mp4
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Just a long piece of rubber garbage.
^^A5^^

Which one of these people is about to be pranked big time?

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 ^^A5^^

One of these vehicles is about to set the interstate ablaze. Which one is it?
 A. The dark car on the right.
B. The dark car on the left.
C. The white car on the far right.
D. The one in the distance spewing gasoline.
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D. The one in the distance spewing gasoline. 
^^A6^^

Pay attention.
 What is depicted in the final panel?
You have all the information you need to deduce the answer.

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Who caught Brett Favre's first pass in the NFL?
You have all the information you need to answer that also.
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Brett Favre caught Brett Favre's first pass.
With that in mind, reconsider the cartoon.
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 ^^A7^^

What common phrase is this illustrating?
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Jumping to a conclusion.
 ^^A8^^

What Ruins This Campfire Meal?
A. A huge limb from above.
B. A huge creature of the wild.
C. His huge drunken friend.
D. A huge explosion.
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D. A huge explosion.
^^A9^^



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The trick to getting your kids to eat more vegetables is to mix them in with their favorite foods. For example, I liked to wedge a few carrot sticks into my daughter's crayon box.

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British Humor.
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GET LEARNT



One question, for example, was how many of the past 22 years have been the hottest on record?
The answer is 20, but the average guess was just 12. And one in five people guessed five or fewer.
And...

Our largest misconceptions seem to be around what other people think, a phenomenon that academics call our pluralistic ignorance: our perception is that other people's attitudes are the problem.
SOURCE: CLICK HERE
A MUST READ
^^B1^^


A typical silkscreen print is made by blocking out areas of the silk then squeegeeing ink through the areas remaining unblocked.

That is much too slow for commercial printing. They form the "silk" into a cylinder then place the squeegee inside with the ink and this is what happens:

I've toured several textile mills and watched that process first hand. One problem is exactly matching the colors from one batch to another. They use a machine that measures the Delta E.
Let me explain. Most people don't know that decibels are not a scientific measurement, but rather is based on the ability of the human ear to detect a very small elevation of the volume increase in sound - one decibel.
One Delta E is the smallest change in color that the human eye can detect and there is a device that measures that.
^^B2^^


I have very good friends who are gay and simply can't imagine discriminating against a person for being gay. With that said, gays, like everyone else, are fair game for my humor.
With that said, I like to think of a very funny dad holding that sign to embarrass his not-gay son.
^^B3^^

I've mentioned before that I researched Scientology for a year to write a book about a young man who found his grandfather's unpublished novel that exactly matched L. Ron Hubbard's foundation for his invented religion and was dated prior to Hubbard's publication. Here is that story.

Indeed.

^^B4^^



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Y’all remember in elementary school when we sent the boys to Jupiter to get more stupider... well they’re back and it worked.

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THE CLEVER AMONG US

Just a reminder of the dangers...

A fun way to encourage proper disposal...

^^C1^^

Country boys and their country games...
 Freedom Birds don’t need your socialist charity.
^^C2^^

Jurassic West
By Shaun Keenan
 And then his inhumanity is revealed...
 ^^C3^^

Brilliant. 
^^C4^^

When it comes to cleverness, nothing beats warfare...
 ^^C5^^


Romanian sculptor Darius Hulea uses metal wires to create modern portraits of historical figures. Darius weaves and solders metal wires to “draw” his figures in three dimensions.

 This is the artist at work...

 Another beautiful perspective...
 ^^C6^^



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I just remembered the vice principal at my high school tried so hard to catch the school weed dealer and never did. Which is crazy. It would be like if you tried to catch the Zodiac killer and you were surrounded by people who saved him in their phone.

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WOMEN DURING WARTIME

We have all seen this one, but there are many more.







I wonder if Americans would be up for such sacrifice if we were called upon again.
^^D 1-8^^

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What have you been told to expect in Heaven?

DIRECTLY FROM THE BIBLE

“After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could number, of all nations, tribes, peoples, and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, saying, ‘Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!’” (Revelation 7:9-10)

“Therefore they are before the throne of God and serve Him day and night in His temple. And He who sits on the throne will dwell among them. They shall neither hunger anymore nor thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any heat; for the Lamb who is in the midst of the throne will shepherd them and lead them to living fountains of waters. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes” (Revelation 7:15-17).

“Then the temple of God was opened in heaven, and the ark of His covenant was seen in His temple. And there was lightning, noises, thunderings, an earthquake, and great hail” (Revelation 11:19).

“Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse. And He who sat on him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness, He judges and makes war. His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns. He had a name written that no one knew except Himself. He was clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God. And the armies in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses” (Revelation 19:11-14).

“‘Come, I will show you the bride, the Lamb’s wife.’ And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me the great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God, having the glory of God. Her light was like a most precious stone, like a jasper stone, clear as crystal” (Revelation 21:9-11).

“The twelve gates were twelve pearls: each individual gate was of one pearl. And the street of the city was pure gold, like transparent glass” (Revelation 21:21).

“In the middle of its street, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve fruits, each tree yielding its fruit every month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations” (Revelation 22:2).

“They shall see His face, and His name shall be on their foreheads. There shall be no night there: They need no lamp nor light of the sun, for the Lord God gives them light. And they shall reign forever and ever” (Revelation 22:4-5). 




“In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also” (John 14:2-3).



But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, to an innumerable company of angels, to the general assembly and church of the firstborn who are registered in heaven, to God the Judge of all, to the spirits of just men made perfect (Hebrews 12:22-23).

Okay, here's my list of what you can expect:
Robes
Palm Trees
Throne
No food or drink
No sunlight
You will cry tears
The Ten Commandments
Storms
 Earthquakes
Horseback riding
War-making armies
God shining brightly with eyes gushing fire
God's robe dripping blood
River
Magic tree
Many angels
Huge houses
Pearl gates
Streets of transparent gold
Jesus' wife
And...
God's secret name will be written on your forehead.

But there was no mention of children.
 And if the innocents go to heaven then there ought to be many, many more children than adults.
And if life begins at conception, then the vast majority of those children are fetuses.
And since most fetuses are lost or destroyed in the first three months of pregnancy...


Then heaven is full of trillions of these...
"...white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice..."
I would love to see a fetus do those things. 


Please - I beg you - what would your eternal life have to offer?
Use as many details as you can muster.
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