MONDAY #3973

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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ROOFS

This idiot is making a movie for YouTube.

 
^^A1^^

These are random movies with roof scenes.

 ^^A2^^

 ^^A3^^

This is a classic clip.

 ^^A4^^

 ^^A5^^

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When a woman says 5 minutes, think of it like 5 minutes left in the fourth quarter and both teams have all their time outs.

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ART BY SCAF

I like this guy's stuff.

 ^^B1^^

Did you notice that his shirt matches the teeth? 
^^B2^^

 ^^B3^^

 ^^B4^^

My favorite.

 ^^B4^^

So, where is his other leg? 
^^B6^^

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If I choke to death on Gummy Bears I want people to just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

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CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL

Chimps have incredible short-term memory

They are MUCH better at that than humans.
^^C1^^

I was going to comment on my concern that this was too high a risk when compared to the benefits.

Then I surmised that they always have a friend around to help them out.
^^C2^^


It's Been Twenty Years Since Fabio Killed A Goose With His Face On A Roller Coaster.
^^C3^^

All those things and it wastes a shit ton of shark meat. I like shark meat. But you would at least think they would grind up the "leftovers" for pet food or something.
Of course, these are the same motherfuckers who club trapped dolphins to death.
^^C4^^

This absolute monstrosity of a Marlin.

It looks like a fish or small shark is biting the thing's lip.
^^C5^^


SOURCE: CLICK HERE
^^C6^^


Bottom right corner
^^C7^^


^^C8^^


^^C9^^



Another excellent segue.
^^C10^^

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Probably the best parenting tool ever is fruit snacks. A little bag of shut the fuck up.

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THINGS GOING AWRY

Oh, I don't think it's any type of disorder to have incompetence drive you up the wall. 
^^D1^^

When I was in Germany I learned that all three of those drivers would have gotten a ticket. The passer, of course, but also the car being passed for not giving him room to get back in time, and the victim for not doing all he could to avoid the collision.
My friend was parked at a red light when a car rear-ended a car propelling it into the next car which was propelled into my friend who hit the car in front of him. Every driver was ticketed. When my friend protested the cop asked while pointing if his car hit that car. My friend began his explanation with "Yes, but..." The cop interrupted him by shoving the ticket into his pocket.
^^D2^^

Witch Power vs 50,000 Volts

"The power of Satan compels you!"
^^D3^^

I watched this a half dozen times.

 ^^D4^^

This was left in the comments:
"I would like to know what brand tarp that is."
I'm thinking it is not a tarp but a roof lining and they are tough as shit.
^^D5^^

Look carefully at the guy's left pattern.


^^D6^^

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My wife refers to my testicles as "wonkas" because they're in between a willy and a chocolate factory.

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OBJECTS OF INTEREST

Jet chasing a cruise missile.

They are made to fly low and slow. And be nuclear-armed.
Plus they will hit whatever it is you want to be hit within a hundred or so feet.
^^E1^^

 Here was a comment left about that:

"The heat output cannot be more than a candle. It won’t heat a room. The flower pots do nothing.  P.S., I am a scientist, have a Ph.D. in chemical engineering, and my expertise in thermodynamics.  I’m gonna start calling this BS out when I see it."

But the flower pot stores the heat - doesn't it? Otherwise, the heat instantly rises to the ceiling where it does you no good.
^^E2^^


 Happens to me every time the acid kicks in.
^^E3^^

Pure decoration. 
^^E4^^

Shirt made from plastic bottles.

You would think people would buy the shit out of those. I would...if I knew where to get them.
^^E5^^

All things Ralph...

 ^^E6^^

I...I’m sorry. This doesn’t usually happen so quickly. It’s been a while. 

^^E7^^

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Why do Bigfoot hunters try to lure him with a mating call? Do they have a plan for it barreling toward them with a raging boner?

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LIFE IN AMERICA

I think we can all agree that the only reason school shootings are almost exclusively American is that teenagers have access to powerful weapons. 
^^F1^^

It only took them a hundred fucking years!

 Fuck Turkey
^^F2^^

17-year-old R Lee Ermey after he enlisted after being arrested for a second time and facing an option of military or jail.

Do they give young felons that choice in other countries? 
^^F3^^

 On dating sites, I think you should have to list the name and amount of spices you purchased in the last year.
^^F4^^

Wages have flat-lined with tuition and books, and health insurance skyrocketing. It easy for a young person to lose hope. 
^^F5^^

And Americans think this is the best system of government to have ever existed and that will ever exist.

^^F6^^

That's not even funny but it mentions my beloved Packers. 
^^F7^^

Seriously, let's add up all the people who have ever been killed or injured by nuclear energy. I think you will be amazed.



In my opinion, no problem is as big as allowing parents to opt-out of vaccinating their children.

 ^^F8^^
 
In America, we have a lot of different major sports. In England, they have soccer and cricket. What the fuck do they do in the off-season?
^^F9^^

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 I've never seen a more accurate description.

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https://i.imgur.com/8PMg3i0.mp4

https://i.imgur.com/By3TANo.mp4

https://i.imgur.com/SiNTtns.mp4

https://i.imgur.com/Z9sDLUD.mp4

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