About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Friday, October 23, 2020

FRIDAY #4321

 One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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BREAKING HILARIOUS NEWS



And if we have learned one thing in four years is that if this man says something didn't happen then it did, in fact, happen.
And...

Okay, I've done it for you: CLICK HERE

Speaking of...
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I was scrolling through my TV channel guide looking for the debate starting time and found it on NBCSports. Puzzled I reread and discovered what looked so official was the 2020 US Cornhole Championship.

Kind of the same thing isn't it?


Cornhole
The act of gently inserting your well lubed erect cock into your woman's well rimmed and squeaky clean anus. Making sure plenty of lube has also been applied to her sphincter as well.


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THE MAKERS OF THINGS

This is the glazed duck I made. It was better than any I have had in restaurants.
This is the marinade.
^^A1^^

To cut the duck into pieces, I bought this. I should have bought one years ago.
^^A2^^

That size of precision-cut astonishes me.
^^A3^^

I've worked with wood since I was a kid but I never had the opportunity to use a lathe.
^^A4^^

I made some adjustments to my beard mask.
It was suggested that I tie the ear flaps in the right position but I put a rubber band thing around it so I can adjust it anytime I need to.
The mask has a pocket in which to insert a disposable surgical mask.

Speaking of that photo on my mancave wall, I offer you this...
That was back when my dick still got hard.
She is even more beautiful today...and I mean that.
^^A5^^

I got a Green Bay Packer logo tattooed on my scrotum.

*MNBT

^^A6^^

I have always wanted to do this in one of my homes.
^^A7^^

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It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today and that's just for the alcohol.


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HUMOR ATTEMPTS

^^B1^^

Either way is okay.
^^B2^^

That was a very funny scene.
^^B3^^

^^B4^^

Levitation did easy
^^B5^^

^^B6^^

^^B7^^
That's true at my house.
^^B9^^

Here's a repost but funny as hell. Sound on. Enjoy.

^^B10^^



^^B11^^

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The FedEx guy always knocks on my door like his son is dying and I'm the town doctor.


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AND AWRY WE GO

^^C1^^

^^C2^^

Like taking candy from a baby...

^^C3^^

^^C4^^

Consuming five Porsches at a repair shop, a pickup truck with camper top, the Winter Park municipal pool, and large portions of two streets, the Winter Park Sinkhole drew national attention in 1972.

^^C5^^

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome

Can you imagine the look on her parents' faces when she did that for the first time?
^^C6^^

^^C7^^

If this woman's wounds were a punishment, then she is the earliest person on record in Anglo-Saxon England to receive the brutal punishment of facial disfiguration.

Interesting read.
^^C8^^

^^C9^^

Think very carefully as to why he would do such a thing.
^^C10^^

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Britney Spears’ is an anagram for 'Presbyterians.


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SERIOUSLY

Amen.
^^D1^^

^^D2^^

Back when men were men...
^^D3^^

WWII veteran standing in front of the plane he flew during the war, at 97 years old.

They were called the Greatest Generation for a reason.
^^D4^^

Something very similar happened to me. I called a kid's mother and told her that her son made it impossible for me to teach my class and she said, "I can't control him at home either but when he's at school he's your problem.
^^D5^^

Yeah, don't go to college and end up a grown-ass man who still thought at the 12th-grade level.
^^D6^^

But I suppose you could read up and educate yourself but that may be an unrealistic expectation.
^^D7^^
Do you know how big a stick you have to have up your ass to ban Animal Farm?
^^D8^^

^^D9^^

Memorial held outside the White House in a solemn reminder of more than 200,000 Americans killed by covid-19

20,000 black chairs were lined up facing the White House. Each represents 10 Americans who’ve died of covid-19. Photo by Katherine Frey of The Washington Post.

^^D10^^

I try...I really do.
^^D11^^

The greatest country on the planet...
^^D12^^

Some shit hole little island...
^^D13^^

SCIENCE

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And what does this ignorant anti-science bias lead to?
YOU made the mask political, not me.
I will beg you that if you are in doubt about the wearing of a mask then call your family doctor that I assume you trust.


And think of the unfathomable absurdity of this:
^^D14^^

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A faucet is just a vertical treadmill for a tiny Jesus.


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EXERTERS

^^E1^^

In Porto Rico at the spot where there was to be an international championship, I watched dozens of pros practice that for a week.
^^E2^^

Time-Lapse of a Giant Hornet Queen building her nest.

^^E3^^

^^E4^^

Spitfire jumps a distance of over 31 feet to create a new world record for the farthest leap by a dog.

**IKIARBISW

^^E5^^

Believe it or not, this guy is mimicking another guy who did something similar and made a bunch of money.
^^E6^^

Yeah, it's a repost, but we all need visual reminders never ever to do that.
^^E7^^

^^E8^^

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Could you drunk motherfuckers just please stay off the goddamn roofs?!


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BONUS CLEVER CROSSWORD CLUES

Has away with words

_ E _ E _ E _

Part of a return address

_ _ _

Bit of swearing in church

_ _ _

Good looking guy

_ A _ _ _ _ A _


Answers tomorrow.


5 comments:

MIKE HARRIS said...

Your national tragedy is that you banned your finest writer, Mark Twain. If you haven't read him I urge you to read his travel books first. Whoever banned his books is a malicious Nazi, in the real sense.Mike

Anonymous said...

Couple, so just 2

Anonymous said...

E1: I think that bottle is 3 feet tall. Notice how large the cap is when it finally lands.

Ralph Henry said...

I very sorry but I have no way of knowing what you are referring to. I work very hard to number each item for that very reason. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Notecard One Liners: I'm so old that I remember when they counted your change (bills) back into your hand (starting small bills first). Now they just hand you your change and if you are smart, you don't leave the counter before you count it yourself....just saying.

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