One Of My Very Own
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EMAIL:
ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
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HUMOR ATTEMPTS
I think humor is a powerful tool in communicating serious subjects.
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I don't often use this word but that's cute a hell!
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If you go down that path you will wake up in a thousand years and all of your great-grandchildren will be dead.
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Luckily, neither my wife nor I am not morning people. And that bit of compatibility should be considered when selecting a mate.
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It took 36 years for an archaeologist to make the most accurate model of Ancient Rome.
36 years? Pfft. I could build that in a day.
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Covid has shown me that if we had a zombie outbreak we would all be zombies within the first week.
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Remember the Super Bowl streaker?
Apparently, that's true.
I would suggest one of these...
And do it out of an airplane and save us all.
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On the mountain Brokeback...
People keep saying these gun nuts use their gun trips to camouflage their blatant homosexual fantasies, frankly, I just don't see it.
What kind of social life must that bastard have?
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No abuser of waitstaffs can be my friend.
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I tell all expecting parents to prepare to learn the true meaning of fatigue.
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Believe it or not, you could have made a bet with a bookie on which Super Bowl coach would expose their nostrils first.
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If I had a nickel for every time I got confused I'd be like "where's this nickel come from?" and then there'd be another nickel and I'd think "what's with the nickels?" leading to more nickels and confusion and eventually I'd be slowly crushed by nickels without ever knowing why.
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OPINIONS ON MATTERS THAT MATTER
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I think the CDC should have explained the pandemic so that a third-grader could understand it because it is obvious American adults simply incapable of understanding adult science.
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READ THAT A-FUCKING-GAIN!
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Other countries got the pandemic under control THEN worried about their economy. In America, we did it the other way around...and here we are.
500,000 and counting.
"New Zealand. No Covid. No lockdown. Barbecue"
NOTE: I am not belittling the human toll of the economic challenges. I just agree with the experts who say you can't enliven the economy without first effectively addressing the pandemic.
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Really? So, defenders of slavery should be celebrated and love is to be considered offensive?
America: The Florida of Earth
The last four years have taught me that rampant racism is alive and well in America.
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VP Kamala Harris working out on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial
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My wife is sleeping with her breasts exposed. Younger me would have gotten sexy thoughts but older me is just standing over her eating a bagel and pretending I'm a coroner mid-autopsy in a cop show.
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That image reminded me of the South Pacific tribe that would tie a baby wild boar to a tree right outside their hut. And it was the children's job to pre-chew food to give the animal so that it never had to chew.
Chewing would cause the tusks to be ground down. After years of this pampering, the tucks would keep growing in a circle until they penetrated the jaw and entered the tooth's root. This caused the pig intense pain. The payoff was an ivory loop bracelet - the most prized possession in the kingdom.
But sometimes the tooth missed the root and kept growing until it looped around again. These bracelets were priceless treasures.
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What an interesting and stunning view.
A sure enough killing machine.
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My friend Rupert wanted to build a deck on the top of his restaurant. Building codes dictated that it hold 200 pounds per square foot. The city inspector explained that it had to hold a shoulder-to-shoulder crowd of normal-sized people standing on 5" of ice. I live in South Carolina.
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That would be a great place to watch critters with night vision binoculars like I gave my grandson.
How very clever.
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Watch carefully...
Driver survives after pickup truck appears to hit snowbank and skids off highway ramp in Wisconsin, crashing 70 feet to the ground. Authorities said the driver showed no signs of impairment and was taken to an area hospital for evaluation.
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I'm not really sure about that design.
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I bet the guy whose job it was to pour shit out of those drums came up with that idea.
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I lost a trailer one time. As soon as I realized it wasn't connected to my truck I slammed on the brakes causing the tongue to completely ruin my undercarriage. I had one of these old hitches that you screw down and if you don't do it just right it will pop off.Now go back and notice the red pickup chasing the trailer in reverse. I think that's the same red truck in the parking lot at the end.
BTW: I found that image online, of course, and now every fucking site I visit has ads for them.
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130,000-year-old neanderthal skull encased in stalagmites, found in a cave in Italy.
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These two stags didn't see eye to eye...
But they sure as shit do now.
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That gif ended too soon and a helpful viewer offered this follow-up...^^D14^^
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Demon Rum
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9 comments:
Puzzle time: the undertaker
Puzzle time: on first impulse I would say "barber", but not ALL men have hair.
Therefore it must be a place all men will eventially visit - the mortician.
the barber
A barber
Puzzle:
the barber
Puzzle: the barber, obviously
puzzle time...
the barber
barber
Yeah. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that New Zealand closed its borders and is separated from the rest of the world by thousands of miles of ocean.
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