About Me

My photo
I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Friday, March 12, 2021

FRIDAY #4461

 One Of My Very Own

<>

EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

<>

<>

<>

DID YOU KNOW


It's mind-blowing to think of Casablanca without Nazis, and without World War II. That's the whole point of the story! You can imagine it turned out to be about ten minutes long. I had to look that story up, and it's true. The German version of Casablanca brought the movie down from an hour and 42 minutes to an hour and 17 minutes, and wasn't particularly well received.

^^A1^^


Excuse my skepticism but where the fuck is it going and where did it come from? I mean, who sends a message behind enemy lines? Anybody?`
^^A2^^

During WWI and II, the civilians were expected to feed themselves, and raising rabbits seems like a great source of protein. They will eat almost anything including table scraps and they breed like...well...rabbits.

^^A3^^

^^A4^^

She's 21 and just became the youngest female to row solo across the Atlantic Ocean

Jasmine Harrison completed the  3,000-mile Atlantic Ocean crossing in 70 days, 3 hours, and 48 minutes.

A near collision with a drilling ship, two capsizes, lots of peanut butter and Nutella consumed, visits from dolphins, and a world record-breaker. Jasmine has safely made it to Antigua.


Does anyone know the rules for declaring it "rowing" while at the same time she has a sail?
Oops...
^^A5^^

The bottles are formed out of a single piece of paper-fiber-based material to give them strength.


I say just package them in paper pouches like Capri-Sun only of paper.

^^A6^^

The World’s Roundest Object

Made out of a single, very expensive, a crystal of silicon-28 atoms, and extensively analyzed for imperfections by both humans and computers, this “nearly perfect” sphere is the world’s roundest object. The surface is so smooth that if you were to blow it up to the size of our planet, the difference between the highest peak and the lowest valley would be between 3m and 4.5m (10 and 15 feet). It used to be around 15m back when scientists started making these amazing spheres, but technology has gotten better at smoothing out even the tiniest wrinkles. However, creating such a wonder isn’t cheap. The silicone crystal alone costs around $1 million, while the sphere itself, although often described as priceless, costs around $3.5 million.

^^A7^^

"Hole"? I would have preferred "orifice".

^^A8^^

There's a beer for that.

^^A9^^

That's like the American slaves adopting Christianity en masse.
^^A10^^

^^A11^^

^^A12^^


^^A13^^

<>

Try breathing manually.

Blinking manually.

Feeling your toes touching.

Seeing your nose.

Feeling your clothes.

Feeling your tongue in your mouth.


<>
<>

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED


A Puppy with Six Legs

 The veterinarians cannot find any record of such a case where a puppy has survived birth, but the female puppy, named Miracle and called Skipper, seems to be relatively healthy. 

^^B1^^

Want to guess who this is?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
^^B2^^

"Sucked her to an altitude..."
^^B3^^

Best throw in the history of throws.

^^B4^^

Russians.
^^B5^^

The Irish

^^B6^^

Dutch cops efficiently take down a burglar...without killing him...

The classic camel-leg sweep.

^^B7^^

Asians.
^^B8^^

Somewhere in Nigeria...

^^B9^^

An Ecuadorian TV reporter and his camera crew got the scares of their lives after being held at gunpoint by a masked robber, while doing a live piece.

Notice how he has his finger wrapped all the way around the trigger. Tsk. Tsk.

^^B10^^

^^B11^^

Just think, some people get paid to play dead. Hell, I would do it for a plate of wings and a couple of beers.
^^B12^^

I once read an unpublished book by a writer friend of mine. He used the word "accouterments" four times in forty or so pages. I pointed out every single one of them.

^^B13^^

"Out of 5 prostate exams so far today the seagull was by far the most difficult."

^^B14^^

NEWSY BITS


And...

^^B15^^

<>

Nothing brings me more joy than watching that girl from my History 101 class who started that rumor that I fucked a horse now struggling to build her pyramid scheme.


<>
<>

OBJECTS OF INTEREST


I'm not sure whether that clip is about the food, the tool used, or the cheese, but the way the cheese sticks on the second attempt really bothers me.

^^C1^^

How cold was it?

I suspect it is due to heating and cooling at differing rates.

^^C2^^

The 49-story residential tower on Granville Street in Vancouver, Canada. 

It's not a fragile as it looked.

^^C3^^

One of my favorite architectural details.

But I don't remember the square hole to receive the arm piece which was carved separately.

^^C4^^

Saving old buildings is a very worthwhile expense.

We don't build beautiful housing any longer. Modern homes are devoid of any adornment.

And we copy the same boring design over and over again.

Most people may think that we no longer care about beauty and specialness. But look at our cars, our clothes, jewelry, etc - all with adornments we spend a lot of money on.

^^C5^^

This Van Camper Comes With a Second Storey and an Elevator

The Maxus V90 Life Home Villa Edition may look like your everyday modern van camper on the road, but when parked it can transform into a futuristic two-story villa at the press of a button. That’s right, with a single finger press you can become the envy of your friends and everyone on the campground. Not only do the walls of the motorhome expand outwards to offer more room in the living area and kitchen, but a cool sunroom extends out of the roof as well.

^^C6^^

Speaking of...

USPS's new trucks

The odd but obviously practical design evokes something from an old-timey cartoon, squashing and stretching as it putters along.

But it's actually rather sophisticated:

^^C7^^

The Typewriter (supercut)

Try to identify the movie with typewriters as quickly as you can.

^^C8^^

^^C9^^

Busted, Gerard Mas

What fun.
^^C10^^

^^C11^^

The secret to good credit is not just about not owing money.

You also have to borrow money and, of course, pay it back. That's my rating.

^^C12^^

<>

I once texted my wife from a fake account to see if she would cheat on me and she wrote back, "I know it's you, Fred."


<>
<>

ON BEING HUMAN


My first wife is actually a very nice lady.

^^D1^^

^^D2^^

^^D3^^

^^D4^^

That's referencing the guy who smacked an anti-masker with a can of Twisted Tea.
^^D5^^

I watched the movie The Dig. Recognize this guy?


.
.
.
.
.
.

He's this handsome devil, Ralph Fiennes.


Speaking of movies, I had some work to do in my hallway right outside my office so I pulled up a movie that I could at least listen to. The movie I selected was A Quiet Place which had like a dozen of words of dialogue...total.

^^D6^^

This lady was in The Dig.

Carey Mulligan

I've always wondered about the statement: "I've always found her an extraordinarily beautiful woman."

Like, found how? Under your bed? In the trunk of your car?

^^D7^^

Dad lets his son with cerebral palsy experience the fun of the sport.

Did you notice the dismissal he gave the person who fired the ball past them?

^^D8^^

Check out her back abs!

^^D9^^

Pantone chart of human skin colors


The cause of so much needless hate.

^^D10^^

<>

<>



<>


<>


<>


<>


<>

<>


<>


<>

Can you read this?


8 comments:

Anonymous said...

A5 Clean your glasses. That is a sailboat in the background.

Jon said...

I am not high

R ON said...

Puzzle Time Answer: yEs, no...I don't know?

weaponoffishdestruction@gmail.com said...

Puzzle time, not at this hour.

Anonymous said...

Puzzle:
Are You high?

Scott James said...

Puzzle Time = Are you high?

Suppe said...

#C2:
Kármán vortex street

Inchworm said...

Puzzle: Hey, got any Cheetos?

Random Post

Random Posts Widget

Blog Archive