About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, June 1, 2021

TUESDAY #4542

 One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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The happiest moments of my life.
He let me pick one of his artworks he had brought with him. I chose the one with a tinge of absurdity.
We spent all afternoon painting book blanks for him to later add to his toy box. 
I taught him that every color can be mixed with these five colors.
He squirted all the colors himself resulting in most books being a slightly different color.
He thanked me for letting him help. As if I would have it any other way.
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FUN WITH LANGUAGE


^^A1^^

^^A2^^

????

^^A3^^

^^A4^^

They all loved the art teacher.

^^A5^^

I don't get that. Mr.T and Ted Danson...???

^^A6^^

^^A7^^

*viewer contribution

^^A8^^

^^A9^^

Speaking of shirts...

^^A10^^

Donald Trump wanted to do the exact same thing - to stop testing so we would have fewer cases.

I hope by now you realize how insane that is.

^^A11^^

Before covid, I had suspicions about how stupid the average Americans were and now it has been proven beyond any doubt.

^^A12^^

Yeah, I've heard a whole bunch of Democrats say that Trump wasn't their president. They are equally ignorant of how a representative republic works.

^^A13^^

Do you think that's a typo or an attempt at humor?

^^A14^^

No Cars Allowed sign in Sweden

Those zany Swedes.

^^A15^^

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Having birthday sex is like celebrating your parents having sex.


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SHIT YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAMN DAY


1960 Buick LeSabre

My father's company car was one just like this one only 4 doors. 

He got it in black and was too cheap to pay extra for air conditioning...in the oven that is Ala-fucking-bama.
^^B1^^

The internet has ruined me.

^^B2^^

I sure wish that was a gif.

^^B3^^

^^B4^^

He ought to open a home renovation business to compete with the Nine Fingers Left guy.

^^B5^^

^^B6^^

^^B7^^

What a wonderfully genuine smile.

^^B8^^

"I am your captain now."

^^B9^^

Anybody want to explain that to me?

^^B9^^

^^B10^^

Turtle shells

^^B11^^

My wife does shit like that all the time. 

I just use a Wetwipe.

^^B12^^

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A man is suing Smart Water for not making him smart and my wife has formally announced her plans to sue Thin Mints.


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WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE


Cheese Hat

^^C1^^

What's wrong with his blackened face? Is that a crude ambulance?

^^C2^^

^^C3^^

I'm thinking someone put some shit on the floor on purpose.

^^C4^^

A man has gotta do what a man has gotta do.

^^C5^^

Cause, you know, moving the car over is just too much trouble.

^^C6^^

A kayaker's photograph from 2016 is currently making the rounds on Memphis Twitter, showing the crack was visible even back then.

^^C7^^

No law is going to stop abortions.

Laws will only stop safe abortions.

^^C8^^

*Future archeologists are going to have a tough time with that guy.

^^C9^^

I wonder how long it will take her to figure out it's a losing battle.

^^C10^^

Don't blink...

^^C11^^

^^C12^^

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I told my first wife that we had to have sex every day during pregnancy to keep building the baby.


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GET LEARNT


"Workers found a large number of ancient coins at a construction site in Baishui county of Weinan, Northwest China's Shaanxi province which, according to archaeologists, mostly belong to the Song Dynasty (960-1279).

Archaeologists later arrived at the site and collected about 100,000 coins, weighing 460 kilograms... initial analysis showed that the coins belong to the old-style Chinese private bank that buried the coins during wars."

^^D1^^

Why wouldn't you want to irradiate every last one of these like you do polio germs?

^^D2^^

I bet they have a machine for that now.

^^D3^^

Magnet Fishing

It's part of a new, and admittedly niche, the sport of magnet fishing, where you "fish" with a super-powerful magnet tied to a strong line.  The hobby is also growing in parts of Europe, where there's a lot of metal in canals and other bodies of water thanks to centuries of warfare.

*I only posted that because of the spoon.

^^D4^^

I grew up living "on the highway" - meaning the road in front of my house was a US highway. One night there was a terrible noise and we all went out to render assistance. 

A man had run over a huge sow and it did to his car what that tire did to the one above.

^^D5^^

This airbag vest protects the elderly in the event of a fall.

TAKE MY MONEY!!!

It's like an instant nap wherever you go!

^^D6^^

It's not carved.

These are likely iron and manganese concretions that develop similar to the way a pearl develops but in a swamp. When soil undergoes constant wetting and drying it forms super concentrations of certain minerals; iron, manganese, and calcium being some of the most common. As it formed, gaps were filled in with silt, and eventually, it became encased in a mudstone. It has since eroded to reveal the layers of build-up.

^^D7^^

^^D8^^

I thought (and you probably thought) that the hack interfered with the pumps delivering fuel through the pipeline. Nope.  Nope.  Nope. 

The pipeline was fine.  The flow of gas was not impaired.  What was hacked was the company's billing system. They were concerned they wouldn’t be able to figure out how much to bill customers for fuel they received.

^^D9^^

An aerial photo shows the China Sihong Hongze Lake International Dayuan Pond Fishing invitational tournament in Suqian, Jiangsu Province.

^^D10^^

Secretariat at the Belmont Stakes in 1973 - his "tremendous machine" performance

^^D11^^

Could the Egyptians have nudged huge stones on rollers with a similar device made of a large log?

^^D12^^

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Cue the Benny Hill music...


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🎶Oh, he never returned, no, he never returned and his state is still unknown...🎶

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7 comments:

Anonymous said...

A6- If you are not familiar with the Madonna song, the lyric they are referring to is:
Life is a mystery (Mr T)
Everyone must stand alone (Sam Malone-Cheers)

Anonymous said...

A6-If you are not familiar with the Madonna song, the lyrics in question are:
Life is a mystery (Mr T)
Everyone must stand alone (Sam Malone-Cheers)

psm

Ralph Henry said...

Thank you. I had no idea.

Anonymous said...

Puzzle time:
We're just looking for Delta's here to begin with. So we need to ask yourself how far the first vehicle travels in 4 minutes
It travels 3.66 km
The Delta in kph between 75 and 55 is 20.
So the question is how long will it take to travel 3.66 km at 20 km/h.

At that rate it's 3 minutes per kilometer which is equal to 10.98 minutes. Round up to 11.
So the car traveling 75 km/h for 11 minutes goes 13.75 km.
Doing inequality equation we can derive that the other car must travel 15 minutes at 55 kph to also go 13.75 km.
So the answer is 13.75 km.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for B8, the guy giving the boy a sandwich. It made my day.
Towanda

Dr. WeTodd said...

B9- shrubs in front of the tree

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Anon puzzle solver,
Why wouldn't you want to put your name on that? It was beautiful.

Dear Dr., You might want to look at that tree again.

RH

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