One Of My Very Own
EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
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Every dog that you've ever seen riding in a car has absolutely no idea where it is going. Imagine living like that.
*I almost missed that.
PONDERABLES
Mr. Rodgers actually believes that he knows more about healthcare than his doctor - that his few hours of internet confirmation bias trumps his doctor's years of med school and years of experience. To me, it would be like his doctor thinking he could be a better quarterback because he reads Sports Illustrated.
So now we're going to burn books.
But in all fairness, we've had the other side want to ban Huckleberry Finn and such for its use of racial slurs.
I don't want ANY books banned.
The difference between me and the Trumpers is that I could still see the value of the infrastructure bill even if it had Trump's name on it.
You see, what triggers me is their attempt to overthrow the government and change the way we elect our leaders. The other stuff is just silly bullshit.
CLIMATE CHANGE
So, this guy did just that...
I'm going to sit back with a bag of popcorn and a beer and listen to the world's religious leaders jump through hoops explaining how an ocean full of creatures on Europa was all a part of God's plan.
ON VETERAN'S DAY
Creedence Clearwater Revival: Fortunate Son
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no millionaire's son, no, no
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
So would mine if I was having sex with something made out of bacon.
THAT WHICH IS RARELY SEEN
Speaking of...
That one piece of needlepoint is more of an heirloom than all the proper ones ever created.
No word on whether the little houses were carved out of the stump or merely glued on.
That took me much longer than it should have.
A Mom put these in her attic where her now-grown son discovered them after all these years.
My advice is to not throw anything of your child's away. Put everything up in the attic. Let it sit there for 20 or 30 years until he asks about something and then send him up the ladder.
Processes by Steve Kim
That must have been a lot of work.
CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL
Have you ever seen a dog do the backstroke?
Me neither.
I remember telling my vet that my dog did that and she showed me how to drain the glands next to its anus. I said I just as soon pay her to do it.
I have never hated anything as badly as that dog hates balloons.
"I saw him!!! The great Dog in the sky. And he looks just like me!"
*MNBT
A guy said his parrot learned when it was time to be put back in its cage for the night and would do that to stay free longer.
Pinky the Cat, dredged from the bowels of the interweb.
It's worth a view just to hear the guy scream at the end.
This guy will soon be attacked, but by what?
The man who invented the Ferris wheel and the man who invented the merry-go-round traveled in different circles.
PEOPLE NOT LIKE THE REST OF US
*Viewer Contribution
A Guy Holding The Line With A Home-Made Shield Against An Armored Water Cannon Truck During The Current Riots In Colombia
Passengers on Canadian airlines wait calmly to exit.
My wife stands up the nanosecond the plane stops rolling.
In America, we do it differently...
That kind of looks like a Heart of Stone that I still collect the shit out of.
I used to collect Found Round Things but nowadays it's just a pain in the ass just to bend over.
I installed another collection directly on a wall near my studio.
Each one was stamped with its own serial number and date discovered (faked, of course).
They were all found on the ground, however.
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I like making ordinary objects special. You can do that by giving them names or numbers, and/or placing them in their very own container...even a plastic bag.
This is Let Me Count The Ways.
It was a Valentine's gift for my new bride. Each unit has a variation of a heart.
The guy is the writer Brett Harte. Get it?
What a delightful reaction.
Do you think that's a tattoo on a shaved side of the head or a very fancy air trim?
As someone who has spent years writing, I have great respect for the people who write lines we all remember.
A Mother'S Reaction Upon Finding Out Her Son Has Passed The Bar Exam
Christmas Tree Cannon
"I ask myself that too."
Did that guy lie? Hell, I don't know. But what I do know is that Trump probably can't read very well and he speaks on a fourth-grade level.
Don't mess with a woman's showerhead. It's like her best friend.
An 89-year-old farmer was having trouble getting into his tractor. His son built him a lift so he could keep doing what he loves to do.
Hell, I could do that.
Linda Harrison, Planet of the Apes 1968
I wonder why they didn't cast an attractive woman for the part. Seriously, she looks very much like one of my favorite bartenders...the one I watched suggestively scrubbing down the beer taps with a soapy rag.
If you had to pick a photograph to illustrate that advice might I offer this:
I don't know Hannah but I will bet she's still single.
Times are so complicated...
God creates masturbation.
God damns you for masturbating.
You are not allowed to ask questions.
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I'm reminded of watching that beautiful bartender scrub down the beer tabs.
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My English friend likes to fix images with a flaw. Can you spot his correction?
The original:
The fix:
2 comments:
PUZZLE TIME: your English friend is a CUNT!
Dear Burgervan, Of course, he is! All my friends are.
RH
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