About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Sunday, November 28, 2021

SUNDAY #4722

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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Don't blame others for the road you are on. That's your own asphalt.

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LANGUAGE FOR ALL OCCASIONS 


If shopping wasn't enough of a nightmare, now they raise the prices. Have you ever needed help in a Lowe's? Forget about it. I've always thought they needed a computer at the end of each aisle that shows the layout of the store and the location of every item. They could even make it an app for your phone.

^^A1^^

Aaron Rodgers said that he wouldn't take a vaccine because he was a "critical thinker". I think that he defines critical thinking as being critical of everything he doesn't understand. The man fears that the vaccine would damage his sperm production...without a shred of evidence. Does that sound like critical thinking to you?
^^A2^^

^^A3^^

^^A4^^

The guilty fear scrutiny.

^^A5^^

^^A6^^

Does the "guns don't kill people, people kill people" argument apply to Facebook?

^^A7^^

*Millionaires want you to tax Billionaires? Well, this Thousandaire wants you to tax Millionaires too.

^^A8^^

^^A9^^

That kind of shit works both ways. It's just part of the game of politics.

^^A10^^

*Verification Required

^^A11^^

^^A12^^

^^A13^^

*I always laugh when young people act like they invented eating ass. Hell, that's been my go-to move for fifty years.

^^A14^^

And no place to hide.

^^A15^^

*All that inconvenience just because they want to sell you an overpriced purse.

^^A16^^

^^A17^^

^^A18^^

That's true - I swear to God it is.

^^A19^^

If I have any conservative viewers left please one of you explain this to me.

This is a fact, not propaganda.

Some people don't want that fact taught in school because it will damage the feelings of white children. Well, where was all this concern for children's feelings when young McNair wasn't allowed to check out a book?


How about this for a quiz?

^^A20^^

^^A21^^

^^A22^^

One of my proudest accomplishments is not getting involved in any heavy drugs.

^^A23^^

^^A24^^

There are memes like that all over the internet. But Taco Bell is extraordinarily tame food. I just don't get it.

^^A25^^


I once got a bonus onion ring in my fries at a restaurant that didn’t serve onion rings if you’re wondering who’s top-shelf around here.

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OBJECTS OF INTEREST


"Welcome to the clown shower. Make yourself comfortable."

The spigot.

"Oops, I dropped my soap. Would you pick it up for me?"

^^B1^^

I wonder if those are real folded bills or if it is just computer tricks.

^^B2^^

Bread Fish

^^B3^^

He saw his opportunity and took it...wait for it...

That's sort of how I met my wife.

^^B4^^

Now that's what I call sterilization!

Can anyone explain that to me?

^^B5^^

I would think that would be too distracting to other drivers to be allowed on the road.

^^B6^^

This map of all of the sunken Japanese ships of WWII is mind-blowing.

I'm assuming some of those were river gunboats.

I would really like for that to be an interactive map that would allow me to click on the ship and bring up a picture and stats.

^^B7^^

I seem to remember that horses and cows don't usually sleep lying down because of the pressure their massive organs put on their lungs and heart. I wonder why that doesn't apply to elephants.

^^B8^^

*MNBT

^^B9^^

^^B10^^

“It’s fine. I’ll get over it.”

TRANSLATION: I will remember every detail of what you did to me until I draw my last mortal breath.

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HUMAN ACTIVITY


^^C1^^

Members of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster are entitled to wear a strainer on their heads for government IDs as part of their rights to religious protection and freedom.

*Verification Required

I happen to be a proud Pastafarian myself.

In nomine Pasta, et Fusilli, et Spaghetti Sancti. R'amen.

^^C2^^


See anything...odd?

To use that camera her face would have to look like this.

^^C3^^

I knew a girl who holds a world record in the Highland games. When she walked into the reception in her wedding gown she hurried over to me, hugged me, and said, "Hi Ralph, I've been waiting to meet you." I said, "How did you know it was me?" And she said, "I read your blog every damn day!"

^^C4^^

Captive audience...

The delightful laughter of the children:

He must have made that table himself. The perfect solution to the problem.

^^C5^^

Facial reconstruction of Rameses 2 the greatest pharaoh of ancient Egypt. (ruled about 3300 years ago)

^^C6^^

This is the guy's dentist...

^^C7^^

My wife taught him everything he knows.

^^C8^^



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Why doesn't the bolt just rotate?

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Can you imagine the mayhem that would ensue?

Can you imagine my reaction if a teacher tried to teach my daughter that Noah collected polar bears and two kangaroos?

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She seems like a good sport about it.
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11 comments:

Anonymous said...

^^B7^^

Not the same but similar https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1x7Q2wEHD_NV-5MeFWcWB2BRH97Y&ll=16.82063935626602%2C133.91368243008398&z=4

Anonymous said...

A1: everything you need at lowes or home Depot has the aisle and bin number on their website.

Just look up "1/2 inch PVC male nipple" and it will tell you exactly where to find it. It's been that way for years by the way.

Anonymous said...

Why would you want to eat someone's ass? Seriously, I don't get it.

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Anon, Have you ever had your ass eaten?
RH

Anonymous said...

Pure and simple cultural banditry. Stolen legacy. The so-called reconstruction of the face of Ramases 11 is pure folly. No way a North African would have those aqualine features.

Yet another example of europeans attempting to distort history and mare just-attribution

Unknown said...

The utter height of absurdity. The notion that a North African would have caucasoid features during the epoch period of Ramasess 11 is further confirmation of the tendency of cultural banditry, stolen legacy and simple outright lying of biased european anthropologist/etc.

💥: shameful; sad distortions; sophistry

D'Ascoyne said...

I'm with Ralph on this one.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ralph, no I have not had my ass eaten because... GROSS! I tried butt sex once to please a boyfriend and it hurt like Hell. Shit comes out of that hole FFS! What next? Sucking out the turds?

Ralph Henry said...

Dear No Ass Eating Anon,
As to your boyfriend hurting you with an anal sex attempt - he was doing it wrong. You tell him to send me a comment and I will give him some pointers.

Anonymous said...

Puzzle: song
Also, love you providing ass eating pointers.
Raul

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Raul, I was hoping she would ask me how her boyfriend should prepare her asshole before having anal but that kind of advice is not the sort of thing you just spring on somebody without being asked.
RH

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