About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Wednesday, December 8, 2021

WENESDAY #4732

 One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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With my wife's cancer scare now abated I got my own tests back today...all clear. It's been a rough month around my house. I sneaked a few cigarettes to get me over the hump but now I'm back on the gum and feeling better about myself. 

No thoughts and prayers, please. Send nudes.

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FUN WITH LANGUAGE


^^A1^^

I could discern what this is saying. Can you?

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.
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I did it without enlarging but here it is anyway.

^^A2^^

^^A3^^

^^A4^^

John Steinbeck wrote about that in one of his books.

^^A5^^

^^A6^^

????
^^A7^^

^^A8^^

*Danny Contribution

^^A9^^

Whoever said 50 is the new 30 never threw out their back sneezing.

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GOOD CLEAN FUN


*Danny Contribution

Did you notice that most of their hair is the same color and style? How boring is that!

^^B1^^

^^B2^^

^^B3^^

"Off" brand.

^^B4^^

I so wish I was still young enough to do things like this...





Here's how I would do that: I would sneak in at night and make a template rubbing of the size and shape of the hole. Then I would arrange the tile to fit the hole and adhere them together with clear shelf paper. Then I go back into the street, lay down the mastic, and press in the tile. Later when it was dry I would peel off the shelf paper and apply grout.
^^B5^^

*MNBT

^^B6^^

*Verification Requested

^^B7^^

^^B8^^

During make-up sex, I'm usually wearing a neck brace.

^^B9^^

^^B10^^

Cuddle "Therapist"
^^B11^^

In my 30s: Secretly hates stupid people.

In my 70s: Publicly hates stupid people.

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VEHICULAR MISHAPS


How? Do you think that is one of those posts that can be extracted?
^^C1^^

An anchor with a mind of its own...
^^C2^^

Race Wreck

^^C3^^

This Tire has somewhere to be...
^^C4^^

Just desserts...

Do you think those are his real teeth?

^^C5^^

Expect the unexpected...wait until the very end!

Windshield Parking
^^C6^^

Goddamn! The bike looks none the worse for wear!

I would call that assault a deadly weapon and throw him in prison until he was raped so many times a basketball could be inserted up his ass without lubrication.

^^C7^^

My wife asked me if she had any annoying habits and then got all offended by my PowerPoint presentation.

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A HUMAN MENAGERIE


He went out with the family for subsistence ice fishing and was surprised at how big his fish was, which was exactly the same height as he was 1.17 meters.

^^D1^^

Us Boomers can't stop the "gimme more" mentality.

^^D2^^

German Language

I learned from my years in Germany that every conversation about any topic sounds like a heated argument.

^^D3^^

The man is devoid of what I call "Personal Principals". His definition of right and wrong is based on who it was doing the sinning. God forbid that.
^^D4^^

That cake looks extremely unstable.

^^D5^^

The Most Common Cognitive Bias

A very interesting game for all of us to play.

^^D6^^

THE PENNY GAME

When I was a bartender I made a fortune off this game. The rules are deceivingly simple:

On your turn, you can take as many pennies as you want but you can only take out of one stack on a turn. The object of the game is to force your opponent to take the last penny.
To clarify, you can take one penny out of the five stack or all five or any number...then it's my turn. By the way, when I played I gave my opponent the option of going first or second. Then when they were getting gun shy (or running short on cash as happened more often) I would let them give me my turn then they take their turn. 
I tried never to make the same first move twice. Several times I would have multiple games going on up and down the bar and never lost. And there is only one first move that will ensure victory. I never made that move.
Play around with it and I will try to explain the strategy tomorrow.

^^D7^^


The speed at which parents go from "sex is the devil" to "please bring me a grandchild" is odd, to say the least.

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GET LEARNT


"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die."

^^E1^^

Harvesting a fruit commonly called Chinese olive or white olive.

It occurred to me that such a magnificent machine was built to do that one task. 

Am I right?

^^E2^^

I tried to find a gif of that thing in motion but all my searches proved fruitless.

^^E3^^

'Tis but a scratch.

That fish reminds me of Mike the Headless Chicken was a male Wyandotte chicken that lived for 18 months after his head had been cut off.

After the loss of his head, Mike achieved national fame until his death in March 1947. In Fruita, Colorado, an annual "Mike the Headless Chicken Day" is held every May.

*As I understand it, there was just enough of its brain stem remaining to maintain basic bodily function.
^^E4^^

3D printed collapsible picnic basket.

"Picnic basket"? That guy has never seen my wife eat. She needs a basket of that size just to hold her napkins.

^^E5^^

^^E6^^

In this short 1969 cartoon, Mickey Mouse enlists in the Vietnam War and what happens next shouldn't surprise you.

^^E7^^

I'm beginning to think you could overlay that on just about anything rectangular.

^^E8^^

Seawater evaporating by lava resembles an inverted waterfall.

^^E6^^


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*Viewer Contribution

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Can you spell "Suckers", boys and girls?

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*If I ever duplicate a puzzle I apologize in advance.


10 comments:

Anonymous said...

^^B5^^

https://www.arandatechnicaltextiles.co.za/products/mosaic-tile-fibreglass-mesh/

Anonymous said...

^^D5^^

https://121clicks.com/inspirations/solutions-to-various-problems-redneck-engineering-group-part2
#9 I Work At A Warehouse In Sweden, And Recently They Halved The Speed Of All Forklifts (From 16 Km/H To 8 Km/H) For Safety Reasons. I Just Thought They Put Some Limiter In The Software, But No. They Found A Far Smarter Solution…


Brake is usually on the left and accelerator on the right, are forklifts different, inverted photo?

Anonymous said...

Puzzle time: I'm guessing there's a trick that I'm missing, but here's my guess.
Five combinations which are the following:
25,10,0
20,15,0
20,10,5
15,10,10
15,15,5

Anonymous said...

https://youtu.be/k0nzf-D1PHY

Anonymous said...

E8: sometimes I can't tell when you're joking.
All I have to say is long/short =(long+short)/long=1.618

Anonymous said...

^^C2^^, ^^C3^^, ^^C4^^, and ^^C5^^ seem to be missing. (And yes, I believe in the Oxford comma.)

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Missing Anon, Just click on the arrows. I had no problem.
RH

Anonymous said...

Awesome! Thanks Smitty.

Anonymous said...

I don't see any arrows to click on.

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Anon arrow guy, What the fuck are you talking about?
RH

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