TUESDAY #4794

 One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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My wife asked if she killed someone would I help her dispose of the body and I said no and she said, “You wouldn’t lie to the cops to keep me out of prison??” And I had misunderstood the question because I’d be happy to lie to the cops I just didn’t want to carry stuff.

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*I'm thinking of my favorite song - the 11-minute CCR rendition of "Heard It Through The Grapevine."

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FUN WITH LANGUAGE

Indeed.

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It's from Doctor Who.

I had to look it up.

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Speaking of Doctor Who...

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"Hi, Balls, my name is Eggplant, but you can call me...anytime." *wink, wink*

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Honesty is the best policy.

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I'm beginning to find insanity fucking hilarious!

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I once wrote off a $600 vet bill under security system expenses.

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????

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I always thought it was spelled "Beau".

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Remember that I wrote "Hunk of Burning Love" on the doctor's form under what I like to be called - and they do it?

Well, this week I told all the receptionists at the facility where I've been getting my scans about my blog and now on my official file it has "Blog Master." 

I'm a big fan of keeping it as light as possible.

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Just saw a touching BP commercial where BP congratulates BP for doing some of what BP was legally required to do after it wrecked the earth.

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HUMAN EXERTION

I'm a big fan of exercise...

As long as it's someone else doing it.

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I used to get most of my exercise by thinking up positions we'd never tried before.

Here are just a few of those positions we performed for the documentary on NOVA...

I provide you with an MP4 as backup:

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Some occupations require more exercise than others...

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I sure would like to see that in action.

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This guy...

He thinks he is clever just for copying a prank he saw on the internet. I'm waiting for the one being duped to have seen the same prank and turn the tables.

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Exercising alone and far from home can get you in a world of shit. I suggest taking along a buddy.

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But exercising in spectator sports just means there are a bunch of people to laugh at your mistakes.

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Yes, I too like exercising with pets...

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I just bet that burned a slew of calories.

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Develop your own flair for every task involving physical exertion.

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Serious Question: I seem to remember reading that walking gives you the same benefits as running but without all the injuries. Is that correct?

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I predict that in a generation NOBODY will be getting ANY exercise.

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The Bear and the Jogger

That's fake, of course, but it was very well done.

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“SO SANTA DOESN’T BELIEVE IN FORGIVENESS?!?” – my 5 year old destroying the “naughty list” bluff.

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GET LEARNT

I don't know enough about this to have an opinion. Do any of you people know what the hubbub is about?

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Free libraries bring interesting people to your yard.

Or so I'm told.

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In China, before the explosions, a message says that the police foiled the plot, arrested the criminals, and sent Durden to a "lunatic asylum".

SOURCE

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Interactive map of lighthouses around the world

SOURCE

I enjoyed that.

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If I had his money I would make sure this photo never saw the light of day.

He looks like he just farted.

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People are always forcing you to state your goals.

I guess goals are good but you have to be very careful not to set them too high.

Failure is not the problem - everybody fails.

Giving up after a failure IS the problem.

But if you allow me seriousness for a moment, I have learned only one "rule" that works for me and that is to find someone to share your life with. And be willing to work to make it last.

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I've found that the cleaner the joint the worse the food.

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Back in the 1990s, some 3 to 10 million Western monarch butterflies would migrate annually from the northwestern United States to spend winter along California’s coastline. In 2020, volunteers counted fewer than 2,000 Western monarchs in the entire state of California, a number well below the level biologists theorized would lead to collapse and extinction.

Then in 2021, they counted nearly 250,000 butterflies, a more than a hundredfold increase from the previous year.

SOURCE

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Remember when I used to collect Found Round Things...back when I could bend over and retrieve something off the ground without moaning?

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The Logging Truck and the River

I knew a guy whose extended family of lumberjacks would back up and head off into the forest cutting roads as needed. They not only cut down the trees but with a huge saw and a generator they would rough mill the lumber in the woods and haul out the planks. When they got to a small river they would set up a temporary camp and build a bridge. 

Then he got drafted and sent to Vietnam and when the Army found out about his special skill they simply called it a Critical Need and wouldn't let him go home. Evidently, they needed a whole lot of temporary bridges in Vietnam.

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Could anyone actually be that stupid?

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