One Of My Very Own
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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
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The Russian Federation fired on the housing estate city Horlivka
FUN WITH LANGUAGE
Alien graffiti can be pretty hurtful.
I need one of these...
Guys in big trucks only tailgate you aggressively because they are in a rush to get home and kiss their father on the lips.
PONDERABLES
I once called a mother and told her that her son was making it impossible for me to teach my class and she said, "Hell, I can't handle him at home either and when he's in school he's your problem."
Game over.
And she looked me right in the eye and said, "I work here" in the same tone someone would say, "My dog died today".
And that made me sad.
I asked the Pakistani guy at the corner store his name and when I got home and pronounced it to my wife the furniture started floating.
CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL
Freeing an ovine logjam...
Central Asian Shepard dog
I used to eat ass on the first date. You're not going to scare me away from my goddamn shrimp.
One of them ticks like a clock.
That these tiny frogs showed up after a heavy rain is not that weird. That they are all facing in the same direction like these assholes is terrifying.
"Nonfungible" sounds like it means it cannot be turned into a mushroom.
FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY
Vacationing on a budget...
My wife and I used to float in an 18" kiddie pool in the backyard.
Meanwhile, there's a metallic clanking in a mechanic's washing machine somewhere.
That looks like me showing my grandson the Holiday Inn parking lot where I got a blow job from a woman I had just met in the bar 30 minutes prior.
You know, if he had used the plank like a diving board he might have just sprung onboard.
When Dante visited hell it was pre-industrialization. There's got to be like 800 levels by now.
RANDOM BLOG FODDER
I saw that photo and it reaffirmed my love of wood and stone.
I own many pieces of one-of-a-kind furniture that were made in some guy's woodworking shop.
There are always some imperfections but that just makes them more charming.
This bed was handmade along with the carvings.
It even came with a matching armoire.
But this is the cream of my collection.
I own four of them and they were made by a farmer and here's the story.
When my wife used to accept furniture in her consignment store an 85-year-old woman brought the chairs in to have them sold. She said that her father made them when she was a little girl and her job was to twist the boiled cornshucks into ropes to use to weave the seats. So, after more than 100 years the seats are still serviceable even though I forbid anyone to sit in them.
The USA Women's Curling made a mistake and the announcer said that the tosser was yelling "Whoa, whoa, whoa," and the sweepers must have thought she was saying "Go, go, go."
Many times when I come to a dangerous intersection I need my wife's help. She is not allowed to say "Whoa, no, or go" because they all sound so much alike. She must say, "Good right, good right" or I won't move.
BTW: It was stated that good sweeping can extend a curling rock's slide by ten feet.
I never see things like that that I don't think about my months in Goose Bay, Labrador where every vehicle had to be plugged in every time it is parked so the motor didn't freeze.
For most of the year, the floors in the buses are caked with four or five inches of solid ice.
Speaking of...
That photo reminded me of one of the most brilliant ideas I have ever heard of. Directly in front of the Art Department at the University of SC, they had to put in new drainage and bury cables, etc and it was a mess. But then they just leveled off the dirt and left it that way for a whole semester. Then they laid the sidewalk directly atop the paths that the students had trodden into the turf in their normal comings and goings. They even made wide paths wide and narrow paths narrow. Then they made mounds of soil at each corner and covered it in sticker plants to keep people from taking a shortcut. Like I said - brilliant.
Said to be an abandoned Soviet sub.
The science of a smile
Smiles are contagious sort of like yawns. I know I smiled at that.
But think about how adept humans are at detecting fake smiles.
This is a hell of a photograph!
Here's the legend but you'll probably have to enlarge it.
"Firefall" created by the setting sun illuminating Horsetail Fall in Yosemite National Park.
-sound on-
Don't do this...
Do. Not. Do. That.
If I were a fashion designer...
6 comments:
C1: Dogs are FUCKING AMAZING and their utter devotion and entertainment just by being dogs is STAGGERING. If man has ANY designs on saving ANY species in case of an apocalypse then I want Dogs to be saved. They deserve nothing less. :)
You like to talk about all your sexual experiences like you used to be a stud muffin which means you were probably a virgin when you got married. LOL
^^A6^^ Also blueberry
C2:
Should have used a bananna.
JNR
^^E11^^ They used to dump actually burning tree bark over the falls. http://firefall.info
Dear Stud Muffin Anon,
It may come as a shock to you but I lie a lot.
RH
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