About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Saturday, April 9, 2022

SATURDAY #4854

 One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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MEMORY PROMPTERS


I would really like for any believer to explain to me exactly what heaven is, where it is, what you will do while you're there, etc. I mean it's your goal in life so surely you know what to expect.


I used to just stare at the children who didn't have their eyes closed during the blessing and smile but now I just don't even go into the room until it's over.

^^A1^^

On July 11, 1955, President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed H.R. 619 – a bill passed that required the inscription, “In God We Trust,” to appear on all paper and coin currency.

*In 1955 we were in the midst of the Cold War and the "In God We Trust" was added to demonstrate that we were not godless like the hated Soviet heathens.

^^A2^^

When I was that lad's age World War II had only been over five years and there were surplus war materials everywhere. I even had access to my grandfather's World War I helmet that I wore playing army.

And somehow during one of their moves, my parents discarded that magnificent heirloom. I vowed that I would never discard an heirloom and my home is now full of them.

^^A3^^

Have you ever had an old army cot? The one I had was not metal like the one above but rather wood but it took strength to assemble also. 

^^3A^^


Speaking of heirlooms, my father had several wrenches like this. One came with every model T purchased and it would fit just about anything on the car. They were lost also.

^^A4^^

As I have stated many times I do not like looking at a picture and not knowing what it means.

I even looked up the groin to see if there was another definition but found nothing. Anybody?

^^A5^^

All of my scaffolding and rolling stages were on wheels and I learned very quickly not to lean a ladder against them.

^^A6^^

My brother wants to be buried at Arlington national cemetery. I wish him luck as I understand it's filling up very quickly.

^^A7^^

It's very hard to explain why I really like the yellow drips at the very bottom.

^^A8^^

The First “Interactive” TV Show: Winky Dink and You Encouraged Kids to Draw on the Screen (1953)

You had to order a special kit that was composed of a piece of plastic that would stick to the screen and a special crayon that you could mark on the plastic. Then during the show, the hero would need, say, a hole in the wall and you would take your crayon and draw the hole in the wall and the character would crawl through it. It didn't take long before my mother realized she could just use Saran wrap and a marker.

^^A9^^

Quite often when I see a very old woman smiling I fantasize about them remembering the double penetration during prom night or the time that Clarence, the pinsetter at the bowling alley, got the huge cucumber lodged up her ass and he only got it out with the help of his friend Julio the shoe boy who had a firm grip.

^^A10^^

I've mentioned my bartender who worked at the zoo many times because she made a real impression on me. Anytime they sedated an animal for a check-up or dental work etc, they made paw prints. Once I got a print the email from the end of an elephant's trunk and it is one of my most treasured items.

^^A11^^

That reminds me of my friend who starred in several police training videos and was recognized by a policeman on the street.

^^A12^^

During the 1950s in Birmingham Alabama, an old black man took an ice-cream pushcart like the one above and converted it into a hot tamale hotbox. Three or four times a year my father would come home drunk at midnight and wake us up to eat hot tamales out of that pushcart and they were the most delicious food to ever pass my lips.

My father got the recipe for those hot tamales and we made them every time we had a family reunion. It took many years to get the recipe perfected because many of the ingredients were "to taste". I have tied up thousands of corn shucks exactly like those in that picture. By the way, all of the seasonings are in the meal not in the meat.

^^A13^^

HAL 9000 I'm half crazy

I watched 2001 a space Odyssey last night and was still thrilled when it was losing its mind and it's saying the children's song with the words "I'm half crazy".

^^A14^^

Bar Thief

A friend of mine opened a restaurant and an old mansion in downtown Columbia, South Carolina. He hadn't been opened too long before every drop of liquor was stolen out of his bar. He called the cops and they could not see how the thief got into the building therefore they suspected it was an inside job. A couple of weeks passed and the exact same thing happened and still, they couldn't figure out how the thief got into the building. Finally, somebody discovered that the thief got up under the stairs from under the building and pried out one of the risers so that he could pass the liquor down, and then pull the board back into place as if nothing had happened.

^^A15^^


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My wife was once followed by an oddball in a supermarket. She became a little frightened so she sped up but so did he. It ended up with him literally chasing my wife down one aisle and up another. Eventually, he caught her and breathlessly asked if he could have his cart back.

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*I agree. I've driven across America on back roads three times with no itinerary.

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If my landlord bought the house I live in for $75,000 in 1982 and now the house is valued at $1.1 million how much avocado toast do I need to forgo to afford to buy the house from the landlord?

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OBSERVATIONS ON MODERN LIFE


^^B1^^

^^B2^^

Our hero in happier times...

^^B3^^

I have never watched one of those movies.

^^B5^^

I'm not really sure what that cartoon is trying to tell us. But let's look at two facts: 

1) The Russian invasion of Ukraine has stalled after a month with no victory in sight. 

2) During the first Gulf War, the United States kicked Iraq's ass in 100 hours of ground combat.

^^B6^^

When oligarchs think we won't sacrifice peace for justice.

*Viewer contribution

^^B7^^

^^B8^^

^^B9^^

^^B10^^

^^B11^^

I have learned that many people love money more than they hate children who don't have access to healthcare. Many parents have no way to pay for their children's college education and instead of fighting to lower the cost they change their minds and say that college isn't worth it anyway.

^^B12^^

I need your help. I seem to remember reading a study that stated that Republican women got abortions at about the same rate as Democratic women. I have been unable to find the study.

^^B13^^

The Haircut

I have been informed by someone who lives there that having universal healthcare in England did not result in many people leaving the job they hated but stayed only because of the healthcare. I have predicted many times that it would result in many people changing their job. I stand corrected.

^^B14^^

Committing war crimes from a war criminal’s perspective.

On March 16th, 1968 between 347 and 504 civilians were killed by US soldiers with victims including men, women, children, and infants. Some of the women were gang-raped and their bodies mutilated, as were children as young as 12. 26 soldiers were charged for this massacre, and only the Platoon Leader Lieutenant William Calley Jr. was charged. He was initially sentenced to life but this was reduced to a 3.5-year sentence under house arrest by President Nixon.

^^B15^^

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My wife once stopped and reached into a box of free samples outside of a Kentucky Fried Chicken only to discover they weren't free samples. It was just some guy holding his box of chicken and my wife tried to steal this man's food.

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When I was a kid my mom made us "chocolate soup" and gave it to us in a bowl with a spoon and it was such an amazing treat. Now that I've become a parent myself I realize it was just hot chocolate and all the cups were dirty.

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WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT


My wife's computer screen...

^^C1^^

^^C2^^

^^C4^^

The car men want.

^^C5^^

(Said to be Kamala Harris' stepdaughter)

^^C6^^

Rover Sizes

^^C7^^

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I bet the photographer studies shadows everywhere they go and to get photographs like those I bet they carry their camera everywhere they go.

^^C8^^

The Duck

-sound on-

^^C9^^

Morse Code

I have a box of those but I don't know how to use any of them.

^^C10^^

Personal Transportation
^^C11^^

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Always follow your heart but take your beer with you.

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You may not be able to change the past but you can still fuck up the future.

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ODDNESSES UPON ODDNESSES


^^D1^^

If it works it works.

^^D2^^

I would name it the Hindenboob.

^^D3^^

Of course, it was, darling.

^^D4^^

If ever there was a runaway moment that is it.

^^D5^^

Snow Goat

That is absolutely extraordinary.

^^D6^^

Snow Dog's attempt at the same...
^^D7^^

Knife Lady

At least I assume it's a lady.

^^D8^^


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NOTE: I wrote that myself and the more I think about it the more I think that now it's more like a bell curve. It was hardly ever photographed years and years ago then it was photographed an awful lot but now it's not photographed very often again.





7 comments:

Anonymous said...

B4: not true.
What was adopted was a ban to film the police while being closer than 8 ft while they were in the process of dealing with another person. If you are in your car receiving a traffic citation you can still film the police.

The original proposal was a 15-ft ban. The 15-ft proposal was thrown out, because a ban at such a distance would not have caught the George Floyd incident.

In the event you do get a citation for filming the police, it's the lowest of the misdemeanors and carries zero jail time.

Pretty much the exact opposite of everything you wrote.

MIKE HARRIS said...

Groin should be GROYNE. It's a wooden or brick construction jutting into the sea. An ancient word.

Anonymous said...

C8 .... a real photography enthusiast always carries a camera everywhere. Like people carry their Cell Phones everywhere today. Back in the 1970's, I was never without a 35mm camera within reach. Some of my finest pictures were taken by chance.

Anonymous said...

A groin is similar to a jetty, used to keep sand out of a harbour

https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/earth-and-planetary-sciences/groin

Sam Keith said...

groyne (US groin)
noun
a low wall or sturdy timber barrier built out into the sea from a beach to check erosion and drifting.

Anonymous said...


Transmitted Message: "Folio Olio blogger fixated on anal sex and women's feet. Repeatedly posts about these subjects so they are available in perpetuity for his grandson to know more about his Big Diddy"

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Transmitted, So, what's your point?
RH

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